Brothers kids call me by my first name.

[JeJeTe]

The way my sisters and I were raised, you called your parents brothers and sister by Aunt____ or Uncle____, you never called them by their first name without the aunt or uncle in front of it. I raised my two daughters the same way. To this day I still address my Aunts and Uncles as such. So do my daughters. Any adult that is not related to you is to be addressed as Mr. or Mrs. ____. It is a matter of respect, in my humble opinion.

This is my aunt and I address her as Aunt Luvmygdaughters.

 

[vraiblonde]

Bluebird, you get back here and answer our questions!

So do the kids call you just plain old Blue, no Uncle before it? Or do they call you Uncle Blue and you want them to call you Mr. Bird?

How old are they?

 

[Grumpy]

File this one in the 'you got to be kidding' basket...

 

[Bay_Kat]

My advice: I don't think it rises to the level of being something to get worked up over.

I feel the same way. I'm the youngest of 8 and have a zillion nieces and nephews and they've always called my by my name. One of my nieces is maybe 2 months younger than me and it would be weird if she called me "aunt".

BlueBird, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.

 

[KDENISE977]

I feel the same way. I'm the youngest of 8 and have a zillion nieces and nephews and they've always called my by my name. One of my nieces is maybe 2 months younger than me and it would be weird if she called me "aunt".

BlueBird, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.

I agree with Bay !! As long as they are not acting disrespectful :shrug: If an older person comes in the room and they don't get up and offer them the seat THAT to me is showing disrespect and I'd snatch my kid quick, but calling the aunt by her name??

 

[BlueBird]

To you, it may be silly, Larry; to the OP, it's clearly not. They're being disrespected by children, and doubly disrespected by their own brother. For children to call an adult by his or her first name effectively puts the child on par with the adult without the experience, and the knowledge and wisdom that comes from having lived one's life. That's the theory, anyway. Clearly many people in this country have not moved beyond, or have regressed to childhood.

Not only that, but the brother is NOT teaching his children to respect others, and at the same time IS teaching them to disregard the feelings of others. The deeper issue to me is the lack of respect the brother has to the OP.

Thank you for posting this, you hit the nail on the head. For me it's not about the title it's about the kids not being taught to respect adults, not just relatives. Children are NOT on the same level as me. They haven't graduated from High School or College, served their country for 25+ years, raised children of their own, nor have they survived any of other lifes real challenges. It's not about the title but being taught to respect adults who've earned it and understanding that they are not on the same level. Without politics becoming an excuse my younger brother is very liberal and I am very conservative so we don't see eye to eye on many things and this one issue is a serious point of contention for me. Even if he didn't agree with my request that his kids refer to me by my title he should at least out of respect support his brother. My kids would never refer to him by his first name and I certainly wouldn't allow it if they tried even though he has asked them. Yes I feel disrespected by a person who's parenting style I obviously don't agree with and his kids are spoiled and rude as a result.

 

[BlueBird]

And, why is it if one had strong feelings about something everyone else must accommodate it? THAT is childish.

Really? It's not unreasonable for an Uncle to request that his MINOR niece and nephew call me by my title. Should a teacher accept a student calling them by their first name only? Parents? Grand parents? Children should be raised to respect adults, especially those of us who've earned it.

 

[BlueBird]

But, doesn't that depend on WHAT and WHY? I mean, I get the 'respect your elders' thing but, there are a lot elders that are not worthy of respect. Age itself should never be the measure. So, I am interested in the brother, his motivations and how things are in general. I can see this being a petty brother/brother tiff. I can see this being something more. What I can't see is the one size fits all everyone MUST address everyone 'properly' as per Ms. Manners rules.

There is just too much culture that says otherwise. There is a great song "The Devil came to dinner' and it address this; some people don't want to eat with angels because they have 'poor' manners and are excited over dinner with the devil because his manners are impeccable.

Larry,

You're on point it's not the niece and nephew I should be upset with and I shouldn't take their lack of respect out on them, it's not their fault. I love my brother and I respect him as a person and as a human being. He's a kind loving person with a huge heart. My issue with him is an idealogical one. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum with me being a very conservative somewhat old fashion minded person and him being a very liberal go with the flow lets all have a big group hug type of person. Though we both grew up in the same house and are just a few years apart we're completely different people. Much of this stems from my joining the military after high school and making it a career. Still, we were raised to reference our relatives by their titles and I would never consider it okay to call one of Uncles by their first name and neither would he. I see what he does as a sign of disrespect for me as a person.

 

[Bann]

Larry,

You're on point it's not the niece and nephew I should be upset with and I shouldn't take their lack of respect out on them, it's not their fault. I love my brother and I respect him as a person and as a human being. He's a kind loving person with a huge heart. My issue with him is an idealogical one. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum with me being a very conservative somewhat old fashion minded person and him being a very liberal go with the flow lets all have a big group hug type of person. Though we both grew up in the same house and are just a few years apart we're completely different people. Much of this stems from my joining the military after high school and making it a career. Still, we were raised to reference our relatives by their titles and I would never consider it okay to call one of Uncles by their first name and neither would he. I see what he does as a sign of disrespect for me as a person.

Ok. So you said your brother ignored it when you spoke to him - so why don't you just do what I suggested and address yourself as Uncle Bluebird and see if your nieces & nephews will just pick up on it & start calling you that, as well?

 

[BlueBird]

Bluebird, you get back here and answer our questions!

So do the kids call you just plain old Blue, no Uncle before it? Or do they call you Uncle Blue and you want them to call you Mr. Bird?

How old are they?

Sorry,

Currently they call me "Blue" I would prfer Uncle Blue.

 

[vraiblonde]

Sorry,

Currently they call me "Blue" I would prfer Uncle Blue.

Okay, I see. And they're children, not adults?

Perhaps you could take a page from Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's ..uh, I mean, John's book and refuse to answer unless they address you as "Uncle Blue"? Seriously, when they say, "Hey, Blue..." you can say, "Uh, that's Uncle Blue to you, young man." Kind of teasing, but pretty much not.

You could say, "Look, your pinko dad lets you brats get away with that hippie nonsense but I'm old school and would like to be called by my proper adult title, which is Uncle Blue."



That's all I got.

 

[Bay_Kat]

Okay, I see. And they're children, not adults?

Perhaps you could take a page from Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's ..uh, I mean, John's book and refuse to answer unless they address you as "Uncle Blue"? Seriously, when they say, "Hey, Blue..." you can say, "Uh, that's Uncle Blue to you, young man." Kind of teasing, but pretty much not.

You could say, "Look, your pinko dad lets you brats get away with that hippie nonsense but I'm old school and would like to be called by my proper adult title, which is Uncle Blue."



That's all I got.

Awesome!

Side note: I've seen BB's previous posts and have a really hard time taking them seriously.

 

[acommondisaster]

I love that my nieces are all in their late 20's, early 30's and still call me Aunt ACD. It's an honor to be an aunt, imo. Love that their kids are calling me Aunt ACD, also. I guess I'd have been "okay" if they hadn't, but I do enjoy that they do. I find it's a sweet reminder of the family connection we share. Maybe you can appeal to your brother's emotional side, rather than "I would like it out of respect", because having been in the military, you know that respect that is earned is way stronger than that which is demanded.

Uncle Blue, I hope you can resolve this to your satisfaction, so that it doesn't drive a wedge in your relationship with your brother or your nephews and nieces. I think Vrai may be onto something.

 

[BlueBird]

Okay, I see. And they're children, not adults?

Perhaps you could take a page from Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's ..uh, I mean, John's book and refuse to answer unless they address you as "Uncle Blue"? Seriously, when they say, "Hey, Blue..." you can say, "Uh, that's Uncle Blue to you, young man." Kind of teasing, but pretty much not.

You could say, "Look, your pinko dad lets you brats get away with that hippie nonsense but I'm old school and would like to be called by my proper adult title, which is Uncle Blue."



That's all I got.

I like your plan and shall try it. Thank you for your advice.

 

[BlueBird]

Side note: I've seen BB's previous posts and have a really hard time taking them seriously.

I can appreciate that but this time I am serious. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

 

[Bay_Kat]

I can appreciate that but this time I am serious. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Merry Christmas to your and yours also.

 

[Bann]

Awesome!

Side note: I've seen BB's previous posts and have a really hard time taking them seriously.

I still say if it bothers him so much, just refer to himself as Uncle Blue and they'll likely pick up on it - heck, don't take it out on the kids.

 

[Bann]

I love that my nieces are all in their late 20's, early 30's and still call me Aunt ACD. It's an honor to be an aunt, imo. Love that their kids are calling me Aunt ACD, also. I guess I'd have been "okay" if they hadn't, but I do enjoy that they do. I find it's a sweet reminder of the family connection we share. Maybe you can appeal to your brother's emotional side, rather than "I would like it out of respect", because having been in the military, you know that respect that is earned is way stronger than that which is demanded.

Uncle Blue, I hope you can resolve this to your satisfaction, so that it doesn't drive a wedge in your relationship with your brother or your nephews and nieces. I think Vrai may be onto something.

I love this, too. My nieces have all always called me Aunt or Auntie Bann. Their mom passed away 3-1/2 years ago, and while I'm not a mother figure to them, I think my Aunt role is more important to them.

I've also called my two aunts Aunt T or Aunt M. However, at times, I also do call them by their first names and they don't get upset. (I'm 55 and they are into their late 60's)

Like you, I do hope the kids will come around and BB's brother will just drop the whole control thing, which is what I think it really is all about.

 

[BadGirl]

I guess I've never really thought about, but upon reflection I've thought of my own situation: I have 14 nieces and nephews, 23 great niece's and nephews, and three great-great niece's and nephews ( , yes I know), and not one of them calls me "Aunt BG".

But I can tell you that I ALWAYS called my aunts and uncles by their Title+Name. I wouldn't have considered calling them by their first nam only.

 

[RoseRed]

I have 1 niece & 2 nephews by marriage and they never much used Aunt for me, but they were older when married their uncle.

On the other hand, I have 1 niece (my sisters daughter) that calls me Auntie Osered, she dropped the first letter of my real name and it stuck. My daughter calls my sister Auntie (not saying) but she couldn't pronounce her name, and it stuck!