Christmas humor

Kyle

ULTRA-F###ING-MAGA!
PREMO Member
143538
 

Clem72

Well-Known Member
Didn't know what to get the wife for Christmas, so I checked her google search history for inspiration.

Found the perfect thing.
143546
 

This_person

Well-Known Member
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?” The man replied, “They’re Carols”
 

This_person

Well-Known Member
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Nothing was stirring, not even a mouse.

I should have bought a carbon monoxide alarm.
 
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