Dating site without pictures?
- Thread starter Misfit
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Larry Gude
Strung Out
There it is.
Radiant1
Soul Probe
How long did you write to her before you met, and did you find her physically attractive?
Admittedly I dodged several of her first attempts to meet me - because in all fairness, her first pic she sent I still think is one of the worst pics I've ever seen of her. But she was very sweet and understanding, and to this day I will never forget the big smile when I first met her face to face.
Probably - a couple weeks. This will sound weird, but initially, her biggest draw was, she lived nearby. I'd grown tired of having girlfriends who lived an hour or more away.
The day I met her I was laid off from my job - for the first time in my life. As rough as that sounds, it played a big part in her willingness to date me again, because I wasn't going to let the worst day of my life ruin our date. I had a lot going against me - I was even more overweight back then, and my personal hygiene was even worse at that time. But she was won over largely by my attitude, my attention to detail and chivalry - and a few things she learned later on. I'll let the forumites tell the pool cover story.
Neither one of us would ever win any prizes, but I still think my wife's very light blue eyes are the loveliest I've ever seen.
Cheeky1
Yae warsh wif' wutr
An older friend of mine tried the online dating thing years ago (think decade ago). She would meet in-person only to find out the posted online picture was outdated and bared little resemblance to the current person. This made it kind of tricky to actually meet up
...never was a deal breaker in and of itself, but it kind of put her 'on edge' due to the guy not being upfront n' honest in the first place. All the relationships were great...right up to the point of meeting the person.Online dating
Some folks swear by it, but I'm not convinced.
Radiant1
Soul Probe
An older friend of mine tried the online dating thing years ago (think decade ago). She would meet in-person only to find out the posted online picture was outdated and bared little resemblance to the current person. This made it kind of tricky to actually meet up
Online dating
Some folks swear by it, but I'm not convinced.
I've met a few people for coffee whom I had previously met online. I found that their pics were fairly accurate (as was mine). Maybe my experience is the exception to the rule? :shrug:
SG_Player1974
New Member
I do appreciate the honesty of SOME OF YOU in this tread.
I must say though, that I have seen some of you on other related treads proclaiming that it is all about the personality and looks are "not that important."
This site is doomed for failure simply because EVERYONE wants to say that it is not all about the looks of a person however, NO ONE will admit that is IS!
I must say though, that I have seen some of you on other related treads proclaiming that it is all about the personality and looks are "not that important."
This site is doomed for failure simply because EVERYONE wants to say that it is not all about the looks of a person however, NO ONE will admit that is IS!
As I recall - it was usually kind of easy to figure out which pics were legit and which ones weren't. If they're 35 and they're showing what looks like a prom pic, you can bet it's bull. You can usually tell these things- I'm not sure what to say. I was always suspicious of anyone who just had ONE pic.
I guess it's a good bet that their online pic is the BEST you're going to see. That anyone with an "exotic" look online probably just looks weird in person.
When I dated women online, it only happened once that a woman looked NOTHING like her pic - she admitted it was a TEN YEAR OLD picture. Honestly, looks weren't the primary turn off for most people I met online - sometimes it was hygiene, rudeness, smoker's breath, clinginess, low IQ, vanity - sometimes looks really don't matter if your date's a lush who smells like vomit.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
I'll admit it. You have to have some sort of physical attraction in order for a relationship to work. Unless he/she has lots of money.This site is doomed for failure simply because EVERYONE wants to say that it is not all about the looks of a person however, NO ONE will admit that is IS!
SG_Player1974
New Member
I agree. It is all the people that claim "Personality is the most important thing" or "A sense of humor is most important to me."
Anyone that does not admit that physical attraction is THE most important thing is simply lying to themselves.
Radiant1
Soul Probe
The few I met were a drop in the bucket compared to the amount who msg'd me, as I was picky. I didn't have the experience were I wanted to run away screaming, we just didn't click for whatever reason. I still remain friends and in contact with some of them to this day and they ask me for advice when they want a woman's pov.
acommondisaster
Active Member
Why not a dating site with no pictures? Better that your first impression of someone be the one that matters long term, than be attracted to the wrong person because they're good looking. I think it's better to think about the site as a way not to be attracted to the wrong person, than a hideout for ugly people.
I've met a lot of couples where I've wondered how they ever got together in the first place.
Can you tell I like the show The Voice?
I've met a lot of couples where I've wondered how they ever got together in the first place.
Can you tell I like the show The Voice?
I still wouldn't say it is THE most important thing. I've never had much of a relationship with someone I had NO attraction for - but women I've been in love with were simply better than average.
The thing is, no matter how good looking someone is, sooner or later, you kind of "get used" to them. You're still attracted to them, but it's like your mind doesn't notice as much. It's like when a friend cuts their hair or shaves their beard or stops wearing glasses and you just don't see it. You've grown so used to the person, that appearances become secondary. You've heard the expression - "no matter how hot she is, somewhere someone is sick of her sh*t". It happens. Eventually, everything about them that ISN'T appearance starts to be more prominent.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Depends on what you mean by that.
If you are saying it IS the most important thing in finding a good mate then that is totally and utterly and completely wrong.
If you are saying some people make that the most important, then spend all their time miserable, then I could agree to some extent but, only insofar as the person who deliberately, consciously holds appearance above everything else who then, has no problem with any and all other incompatibilities as the primary concern has been addressed. I know some people like that and they are happy; they got what they wanted and need.
That is not for me and I would venture it is not for most people. Your mate can be gorgeous on the outside but, if you're not connected on the inside, attracted on the inside, where all, or most, of the gears mesh, then, it either isn't gonna work or you're gonna be modifying the criteria of what 'happy' means in order to put up with it.
Vrai made a brilliant point years ago about voting;
People should show up at the voting booth, answer a questionnaire and then be told 'here is who you voted for'. Maybe it's not the appearance you had in mind but, it's the person who you are good with ideologically.
Finding a mate could work the same way.
The trick is being honest with yourself and knowing what works for you. In a perfect world, two young people in love grow and evolve with one another, or, close enough, and live happily ever after and that's the REAL challenge; how an individual evolves and grows. What matters most in the relationship at 20 may well not be 'right' enough, if it ever was, at 30 or 40 or 50.
Proof of how hard this is is in that we don't do arraigned marriages anymore showing that those that ostensibly know you, are older and are experienced at this sort of thing, aren't any more successful at it than an 18-20 year knucklehead.
Life, relationships, it's a contact sport. Go live it. Appearance is the first thing to give way.
I'll just say this to those who think looks don't matter.
Quasimodo was a great guy but he didn't get a prom date.
I don't seen anyone saying they don't matter. I see many saying they absolutely do, but they're not the most important thing. Looks get you noticed; in my single days, I stopped seeing many attractive women because they were just too damned annoying to pursue further, for whatever reason.
I do think that there are a lot of people who are frustrated in their dating life, because they serially date people for their looks alone, but find that down the line, this attractive person they're with is just too irritating - so they move on after a couple weeks or months, but only after what some people would have noticed after five minutes.
I guess I've know people always chasing 10's when they could have been supremely happy "settling" for a seven.
Online dating
Some folks swear by it, but I'm not convinced.
Been married 8 yrs .... dated for 5 yrs before that ...
Personality is what you consider, after you go 'hmm she is cute'
