A few days ago I commited the ultimate sin: I vented on Facebook about how very little housework my spouse, “Clark,” does and how unfair this feels to me. I hadn’t been sleeping well, and he had. I was also in a lot of pain. I am not making excuses — just giving a bit of background that led up to the “incident.” Everything combined into the perfect storm and I blew up. I know I should not have done so on social media.
Immediately, Clark’s sister came promptly to his defense and ripped on me like never before. I have since appologized to her and told her she was right to defend her brother; I would/have done so, too. In her ripping me apart, she stated how I am constantly doing this, which is untrue. This is the first time I have ever posted something negative about my husband. She never comments on any of the positive posts I have put on social media about how grateful/lucky I am to have the spouse that I do. This is the only thing she has chosen to comment on — the one negative post.
Side note: Clark’s family has made it more than clear during our whole relationship — 18 years — that they do not like me; I am not who/what they wanted for him, and they even went so far as to try to set him up with someone else after we had been together for about nine years. They have always invited me to gatherings and events and are civil, but they make it known that they are only just tolerating my being there. His mother has been to our place once in 18 years, and while constantly saying that they are “just toooo busy,” can set the same time/date for us to visit them. His sister, despite many invites, has never come.
In just over a month, Clark’s nephew — the son of said sister — is getting married. We were invited before all this happened. I know that if I go, it will make things awkward and tense and that I will be asked something along the lines of, “How dare you show your face after what you did?” If I don’t go, I know it will be something along the lines of, “Well, now she’s just being petty and childish, just like we knew she has always been.” Not sure what to do. — Damned if I Go, Damned if I Don’t
Dear Damned,
Dump that family. Stop going to their get togethers and stop trying to get them to like you because they've made it clear they will never accept you. Don't worry about why they hate you - it doesn't matter. It's possible that you're overreacting to what was a minor incident, but that doesn't matter either. Even if you're the crazy one, there's still crazy and nobody needs that.
And probably dump Clark while you're at it because he either tolerates his family treating you poorly or you're a nutter and would be doing him a favor.