I didn't read all of this, but declawing is a tough decision. The first thing I had done to Jack was to have him fixed. When we got home he bit me. His memory wasn't quite short enough.
I never would have considered having him declawed if he hadn't become aggressive because I would always be concerned that he would slip outside when the door was left open by a kid or something. He was a very clever escape artist. Anyway, he would grab gurls arm and dig in with the claws and chew. Freakin' vicious. It was either his claws or gurls arms. All 4 paws...whack, whack, whack, whack.
He was about 3 when we had it done.
He still escaped, but he still kicked kitty ass.