Discipline

[cajunschips]

I'm a newbie to this forum but can't help posting to this topic.  My husband and I have 3 very well behaved teenaged daughters.  We were always getting comments from total strangers about their excellent behavior in public when they were little.  (Had them all within 3 years so they were all about the same ages together - whew!)  

It was a lot of work, and we had to stay on top of their behavior constantly, but it was worth it.  We could take them ANYwhere in public and not be embarassed by temper tantrums and screaming fits.  Why?  Because the very first time it happened, we stopped everything and on the spot,  spanked the bottom of the offender.  The other 2 took notice and it never happened again.  No means "NO", not "if you ask enough times, eventually I'll give in".  Consistancy is the key to discipline definitely.  If you threaten, be sure you're prepared to follow up with action, not another threat.

Now we're doing the teenage years and if we manage to make it through with our sanity intact, I'll feel very lucky!    They're teens and we're definitely dealing with typical teenage angst but overall I must say, I'm very proud of our girls and then fine young women they're turning into.  

Thanks for reading.  

 

[CCsugarcane]

I agree 100% with consistancy but I'm also a single mother and I don't have anyone around to always assist with diciplining my children.  Kids will try their limits anywhere.  And I all ways follow thorugh.  Just yesterday while picking my son up he started throwing a fit because they where about to go outside and he wanted to go.  I told him no when he gets home he can go out side but it was time to go.  He wouldn't come to me so I warned him if he wasn't in front of me by the count of three we were walking to the bathroom for a spanking.  He wouldn't budge so on the 3rd count I walked over to him and took him by the hand the entire walk to the bathroom he started crying because he knew what was coming.  As I got into a bathroom another parent came up to me and asked if everything was alright.  I looked at her with discuss and said yes.  She walked away and I proceeded to give my son on wack on the butt.  After that he dried his eyes went into the center got his stuff and was ready to go.  When we got home he wasn't allowed to go outside and I explained to him that when I show up it is time to go and he is to listen to my instructions.  If he doesn't he will have to suffer the consequences.  As far as that parent goes I can't stand people who look at you as though you don't know what your doing.  I may be a single mother but I myself get compliments on my children majority of the time.  When they are tired (which he was) they have a tendency to push their limits and it is my responsiblity as a parent to put them back in line.  No matter who is around.  When I'm not there at daycare, they say he is one of the most behaved kids and he is the only kid in his 3 year old class that uses his manners.  When the teacher thanks him for saying yes mame or no mame the other kids then tend to follow suite.  Makes me proud to know he is carring thing that I teach him into his every day life, weather I'm there or not.

I also don't buy that person who said their child never threw a fit in a store or in public once.  Denial can also hurt children.

 

[wyldanjel]

Teddy Bear on 7:52 am on Feb. 21, 2002[br]wyldanjel,
Check back with us in a few years and see if you can still say 'neither of them has thrown a fit in a store for anything.'  My firstborn was a perfectly behaved child and I took total credit.  Three years later, I followed the same guidelines and had a child who had a mind of his own!  It happens and it's not our fault.  How we deal with it is what makes a difference.  Good luck.  

Oh yes I know!  This is especially possible because the kids have different dads...And the 8 year old had ALL mommy's attention until about 3 years ago... Such is life... kids will be kids BUT that doesn't mean kids have to be monsters... And for as long as I can remember if I kept my 8 year old occupied while we were at the store this helped!  I would give her her own grocery  list with pictures glued to a sheet of paper to get and put in the cart and if she got all these she could pick out a cookie at the bakery part of the store.  What's $.30 for a well behaved kid?  Oh well maybe I do bribe her but I don't have to do it every time most of the time she's just happy to be with mommy...

 

[mrs potts]

As a mother with one child, 4 years old, I constantly struggle with this debate.  I often wonder if by disciplining my child in public does more harm than good.  I often use my "mothering" voice, the glare and stiff concequences.  Sometimes this works and sometimes not.  I have ordered at a reastuarant, gotten my food to go and have left.  My daughter is told why we left and is welcome to a peanut butter sandwich at home.  Her father and I sit down and try to enjoy our meal.

All in all - everyone raises their child their own way, right or wrong - we all try to do the best we can!