Does anybody like their kids?

[Geek]

I keep meeting people that don't seem to like being with their kids. Dropping them off at daycare on their day off from work or every day during their week long vacation. I met one mom who was thrilled to have found a day camp for her kids that started at 6:00am and she didn't have to pick them up until 6:00 pm. She looks at me and says she couldn't take them all day long. She doesn't even have a job. I told her I love being with my kids and she looked at me like I was crazy. I just don't get it. My kids are my favorite people on the planet. I just don't get the I need "my" time.

 

[Ponytail]

I keep meeting people that don't seem to like being with their kids. Dropping them off at daycare on their day off from work or every day during their week long vacation. I met one mom who was thrilled to have found a day camp for her kids that started at 6:00am and she didn't have to pick them up until 6:00 pm. She looks at me and says she couldn't take them all day long. She doesn't even have a job. I told her I love being with my kids and she looked at me like I was crazy. I just don't get it. My kids are my favorite people on the planet. I just don't get the I need "my" time.

Kids are a product of the parents. 'nuff said.

 

[vraiblonde]

I always like my kids and I like my step-daughters, too. There's no harm in getting a sitter so you and the hubby can go to a movie or dinner, or getting one occasionally so you can treat yourself to a pedicure or shopping trip. But if you need that much "my" time, why bother to have kids in the first place?

 

[kwillia]

But if you need that much "my" time, why bother to have kids in the first place?

Cause you can't stuff 'em back in...

 

[vraiblonde]

Cause you can't stuff 'em back in

Okay, but Geek said "kids". You'd think after the first one, the mom would have figured out she didn't really want 'em around.

 

[kwillia]

Okay, but Geek said "kids". You'd think after the first one, the mom would have figured out she didn't really want 'em around.

Yeah but what if it's the 2nd one she's really trying to get away from...

Seriously, Geeky seems pretty quick to judge it a bad thing that a parent would take their kid to daycare on a day the parent has off. As a working mom, I can think of a million things I have had to do on a midweek day off that were better off being done without small kids in tow. I'm not saying there aren't parents that do it just to get away from their kids. I'm just saying not all parents have evil intentions. Good grief...

 

[Ken King]

What about those that pay the fixed fee whether the kids are there or not. For them why not take that day to do things while the person being paid to care for the child does it?

 

[Nickel]

What about those that pay the fixed fee whether the kids are there or not. For them why not take that day to do things while the person being paid to care for the child does it?

Sometimes I'd take off an entire day for something like a dr's appt. I'd drop him off at regular time at day care and run errands or whatever during the day, then pick him up for his appt or at the regular time. Usually people take off work for a reason, they have something to do that can't necessarily be done with a child in tow. I love spending time with my son, but he also loved being with his friends at the babysitter's house. Him socializing and having his routine was much more beneficial than being toted around while I ran around doing things that would make him miserably bored. And on top of it all, if you've paid for the child to be there, they might as well be.

 

[Geek]

I understand the need for daycare. I guess what I am saying is that people get used to dropping the kids off and making things easier for themselves. Your child has their whole life to socialize, your time with them is so precious, they only get to be kids once, most kids love to be with their parents doing anything at all. The case that got me started is a person I know has had two children one is 6 weeks and one is 3. They are in daycare from 6:00 am to 6 or 7 at night. 3 weekends out of the month they are at Grandma's house. It just seems crazy to me. She treats them like accessories. As far as keeping them in daycare because you paid for it, I think that kids' lives and memories are more important than the money you pay to the provider. I am crazy about my kids, I am thankful for every moment they are here. We had the death of a 3 1/2 year old in the family, so I guess time looks really special to me, I feel like I can not waste a second.

 

[Nickel]

I understand the need for daycare. I guess what I am saying is that people get used to dropping the kids off and making things easier for themselves. Your child has their whole life to socialize, your time with them is so precious, they only get to be kids once, most kids love to be with their parents doing anything at all. The case that got me started is a person I know has had two children one is 6 weeks and one is 3. They are in daycare from 6:00 am to 6 or 7 at night. 3 weekends out of the month they are at Grandma's house. It just seems crazy to me. She treats them like accessories. As far as keeping them in daycare because you paid for it, I think that kids' lives and memories are more important than the money you pay to the provider. I am crazy about my kids, I am thankful for every moment they are here. We had the death of a 3 1/2 year old in the family, so I guess time looks really special to me, I feel like I can not waste a second.

I agree with you. If you have the opportunity to stay at home with your kids, it's great. My son and I actually get along a lot better now that we're home together every day. However, if both parents need to work, they shouldn't be made to feel guilty about putting their child in day care. Some families cannot support themselves on one income. The situation you speak of is not the norm, and it's unfair to lump all parents of kids in daycare into this group of uncaring people. I love my son, more than life itself, but when I had to work, my only option was day care. I didn't have the option of staying at home with him.

 

[Geek]

I agree with you. If you have the opportunity to stay at home with your kids, it's great. My son and I actually get along a lot better now that we're home together every day. However, if both parents need to work, they shouldn't be made to feel guilty about putting their child in day care. Some families cannot support themselves on one income. The situation you speak of is not the norm, and it's unfair to lump all parents of kids in daycare into this group of uncaring people. I love my son, more than life itself, but when I had to work, my only option was day care. I didn't have the option of staying at home with him.

When you need it, you need it. I am speaking of people that don't seem to like the kids that they have made. They do not enjoy being a parent, yet they keep making babies. I feel like I am meeting more of these type of parents in the last few years. I do not lump them together and I have seen the some amazing parents with their kids in daycare.

 

[Calvert newbie]

i wish i could hit lotto and stay home with mine

 

[MysticalMom]

And here I am trying to sell mine on ebay. :shrug:

j/k?

3 of my girls are teenagers and don't want to be with me half the time anyway. The youngest girl has her best friend next door and they're always busy. So getting time with any of them is like pulling teeth.

Not that I mind.

 

[MMDad]

I keep meeting people that don't seem to like being with their kids. Dropping them off at daycare on their day off from work or every day during their week long vacation. I met one mom who was thrilled to have found a day camp for her kids that started at 6:00am and she didn't have to pick them up until 6:00 pm. She looks at me and says she couldn't take them all day long. She doesn't even have a job. I told her I love being with my kids and she looked at me like I was crazy. I just don't get it. My kids are my favorite people on the planet. I just don't get the I need "my" time.

This reminds me of people I work with who say they can't afford a single income. They drive Escalades, live in $400K homes, wear expensive clothes, and vacation to Disney every year.

It's not that they can't afford it, they just put their toys ahead of their kids.

I understand that many people cannot make ends meet on one income, but if you aren't willing to sacrifice some of the extraneous crap, why be a parent?

 

[Wenchy]

When I was working full-time (like Nickel did) I would have one day off during the week (if not two) because I worked either 1 or 2 days during the weekend. I paid for a full week of daycare, whether I used it or not. If I only had one day off during the week, the kids would go into daycare. I would go grocery shopping and any other errands that needed to be done. I would then pick them up on my way home. (Grocery shopping/ running errands with a baby/young child is NOT fun) If I had 2 days, they would stay with me for one entire day.

Because of my schedule I did miss out on a lot of time with them, and wish I could have quit work earlier than I did.

I was fortunate in having a fantastic day care center, and my children have life-long friends that they have grown up with (small town here)

It's nice being able to stay home now, and not worry about snow days, delays, and when one of them gets sick.

I also must say that I enjoy all the "ME" time when they are both in school during the day.

I am rested and non-stressed when they come home now.

I am certainly not a perfect mother, but I love my children unconditionally, and they are pretty darn close to being perfect. (If I do say so myself)

 

[RoseRed]

I love the time I spend with my daughter, but as a single parent I find that it is better that I drop her off at daycare early. In my case, I can get to work early and off work early enough so I can still spend time with her in the afternoon doing homework, taking her to her Brownie meetings and dance classes, etc.

 

[Wenchy]

This reminds me of people I work with who say they can't afford a single income. They drive Escalades, live in $400K homes, wear expensive clothes, and vacation to Disney every year.

It's not that they can't afford it, they just put their toys ahead of their kids.

I understand that many people cannot make ends meet on one income, but if you aren't willing to sacrifice some of the extraneous crap, why be a parent?

My choice was a $600K home or to stay in my cute little Cape Cod and quit work.

Here I am.

 

[MMDad]

My choice was a $600K home or to stay in my cute little Cape Cod and quit work.

Here I am.

My wife gave up her teaching job and works at home for about 1/2 of what she would be making. I drive a 10 YO car. I don't regret it one tiny bit and I know it's better for the kids.

 

[Nickel]

My wife gave up her teaching job and works at home for about 1/2 of what she would be making. I drive a 10 YO car. I don't regret it one tiny bit and I know it's better for the kids.

What does she do, if you don't mind my asking? I decided to stay at home when we moved...the cost of living here is much lower, and if I wanted a decent job I'd have to commute to the Hampton Roads area. I'm not willing to do that, and since D's salary stays the same, we can afford for me to stay home. We own a nice home (on the small side, but perfect for us), and have one new vehicle, one used and paid off. We can't go out to dinner and movies all the time like we used to, but the sacrifice is worth it. I'm hoping to earn my degree before we have to move to another duty station. Ideally I'd love to work from home, but there aren't a ton of viable options.

 

[CMC122]

This reminds me of people I work with who say they can't afford a single income. They drive Escalades, live in $400K homes, wear expensive clothes, and vacation to Disney every year.

It's not that they can't afford it, they just put their toys ahead of their kids.

I understand that many people cannot make ends meet on one income, but if you aren't willing to sacrifice some of the extraneous crap, why be a parent?

I had this same converstation with a girlfriend the other day. My family of 5 lives on the same amount of money her and her husband live on. Now baby is on the way and they are stressing out because of a lack of money (I laughed at her too)