![Fire :fire: 🔥](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f525.png)
The diligent team of crack law enforcement experts at the FBI created a massive ratio yesterday with a helpful public service advisory on
shoplifting (a ‘ratio’ occurs when a tweet gets more comments than likes). The first problem was obvious, the FBI must have used Google Gemini to create an image of “shoplifters.” But an even bigger problem quickly emerged once I started looking at what the FBI was pushing.
What the FBI was really up to was shoring up Biden’s pathetic efforts to blame inflation on everybody but himself, by suggesting that higher food prices are somehow caused by sneaky white women stealing purses at Macy’s. But commenters to the tweet properly roasted the floundering federal agency, and helpfully offered FBI agents lots of photos of
actual shoplifting, you know, in case they are confused.
The FBI’s link in its tweet opened a self-congratulatory puff piece is titled “
What We Investigate: Organized Retail Theft.” Down at the very end of
that page, the FBI finally linked to three (3) shoplifting cases it helped investigate:
So I thought, now we’re talking, let’s check them out! Maybe there was a good reason the FBI picked a photo of ladies probably named Katelyn or Lindsay or something, as the faces of “organized retail theft.” But then I immediately ran into my first obstacle: the FBI’s links to pages about the
real organized theft cases unhelpfully included no pictures at all. So I expanded my search.
You’d be surprised how many news sites avoided picturing the convicted criminals. But here are the two men sentenced in the New York home improvement holdup case: Jalil MacIntyre, 31, a Jamaican national — immigration status unknown — and Deshun Jackson, 23, of Brooklyn:
It only took a little more digging to find the four heavily-hyphenized, “Ecuadorian Nationals” — in other words, illegals — indicted in Ohio for tuning up a national theft ring (of Apple products): Alexander Diaz-Remache, 38; Gustavo Daniel Vinueza-Bueno, 36; Jonathan Eduardo Remache-Diaz, 32; and Alvaro Oswaldo Loaiza-Alvarez, 27. Assuming those are their real names.
Finally, I discovered — much to my surprise — that the “Nashua Man” who pleaded guilty to transporting $2 million in stolen Apple products to Hong Kong actually had a
name. The “Nashua Man’s” name is Guangwei “William” Wu, 30. Despite sinking more time into the search than I should have, I could not find Wu’s picture anywhere, so you’ll just have to imagine what he looks like. (I did find out that Wu pleaded to a lesser offense, stroked a check for the $2 million as restitution, and got only a year of supervised release. So he probably also had a good legal and PR team sending out mugshot takedown notices.)
So there you have it. Not only did the FBI’s own cited cases include no white criminals, there weren’t even any
women! And as far as I can tell, only Deshun Jackson — one of seven — is an American. The FBI had
real pictures of two black guys, four rough-looking hispanic males, and an Asian gentleman. So, why pick two manicured, coiffed, and well-dressed
white women?
There is only one logical conclusion: the racist FBI hates all you white ladies and is trying to pin the blame for all these heists and capers on you.
FBI profiling its most-hated demographic again; huge news in the Fani Willis case; AI text-to-video already killing jobs; Tucker non-story (so far); Biden's worst idea yet; funny Italian takes; more.
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