Double standard

[Pete]

In light of Debra Lafave's interview the other day the "double standard" debate has come up again.

Debra, a turbo hottie, then 23 years old, honked the BoBo of a 14 year old, a clear violation of the law. For her crime she received the sentence of 3 years house arrest. If "Debra" had been "Dan", a 23 year old man, who humped a 14 year old girl it is safe to say he would not be on house arrest, he would be in the big house.

Part of the double standard is it is hard to see the 14 year old boy as a "victim". He scored with a turbo hot chick, which is what all males dream about 23 hours and 54 minutes a day (the other 6 minutes are taken up by "I am hungry") from the age of 12 to 38. While our society cringes with the thought of a delicate flower of a female child being soiled, it is just not the same as a male. The idea this 14 year old boy, who Lafave said was "very flirty" and aggressive, was a victim is just hard to grasp for many. As a matter of fact how many guys went "heh, a victim, riiiiiiiiight".

Now I think there is another double standard. Hot v. Ugly. Leave all the details the same except looks. If Lafave had been fugly and fat, would she still have gotten 3 years house arrest? I think not. What if the roles were reversed and "Debra" was "Dan" and instead of a hot, clean cut dude he was a goober who lived in a trailer down by the river would he go to jail.

It is irrefutable that pretty people have an edge to a certain degree. We are programed to find certain physical attributes appealing. We also as a society view women as weaker and more likely to be a "victim" than a male. the question is do we continue to deny it, do we attempt to force will against public sentiment, or do we just shrug and embrace the double standards the DO exist and are accepted.

If we embrace the double standards to we change the laws to say "If a nasty old man accosts a female under the age of 18 he shall go to prison for a period of 5 years. If a female accosts a male under the age of 18 she shall go to prison for a period of 3 months with 1 year probation?

 

[HillBillyChick]

In light of Debra Lafave's interview the other day the "double standard" debate has come up again.

Debra, a turbo hottie, then 23 years old, honked the BoBo of a 14 year old, a clear violation of the law. For her crime she received the sentence of 3 years house arrest. If "Debra" had been "Dan", a 23 year old man, who humped a 14 year old girl it is safe to say he would not be on house arrest, he would be in the big house.

Part of the double standard is it is hard to see the 14 year old boy as a "victim". He scored with a turbo hot chick, which is what all males dream about 23 hours and 54 minutes a day (the other 6 minutes are taken up by "I am hungry") from the age of 12 to 38. While our society cringes with the thought of a delicate flower of a female child being soiled, it is just not the same as a male. The idea this 14 year old boy, who Lafave said was "very flirty" and aggressive, was a victim is just hard to grasp for many. As a matter of fact how many guys went "heh, a victim, riiiiiiiiight".

Now I think there is another double standard. Hot v. Ugly. Leave all the details the same except looks. If Lafave had been fugly and fat, would she still have gotten 3 years house arrest? I think not. What if the roles were reversed and "Debra" was "Dan" and instead of a hot, clean cut dude he was a goober who lived in a trailer down by the river would he go to jail.

It is irrefutable that pretty people have an edge to a certain degree. We are programed to find certain physical attributes appealing. We also as a society view women as weaker and more likely to be a "victim" than a male. the question is do we continue to deny it, do we attempt to force will against public sentiment, or do we just shrug and embrace the double standards the DO exist and are accepted.

If we embrace the double standards to we change the laws to say "If a nasty old man accosts a female under the age of 18 he shall go to prison for a period of 5 years. If a female accosts a male under the age of 18 she shall go to prison for a period of 3 months with 1 year probation?

Good post. Years ago, when my son was 12, I became aware that one of his friends' mothers was paying a bit too much attention to him. I still feel like beating that woman down. Even not paying too much attention to the appearance issue, the double standard for young boys vs. young girls is still there and still appalling. I

 

[harleygirl]

I agree with you Pete, a total double standard. But unfortunately, that is society in general.

 

[workin hard]

I definatly think there is a double standard when it comes to role reversal for this type of crime but I have no doubt a man would have gone to jail for this no matter the whether the 14 year old girl was "flirty" and "aggressive".

I think it was an interesting interview last night.

 

[bresamil]

We've talk of this before - not just the treatment of criminals but also of victims. The most publicized kidnappings and domestic violence cases center around attractive people. Not that it isn't happening to ugly people, it just doesn't make the tv and newsstands as much.
Hot or not, she was an adult and he was a child. She was responsible for making boundaries and she didn't. She is as much a criminal as any adult that takes advantage of a child.

 

[meangirl]

We've talk of this before - not just the treatment of criminals but also of victims. The most publicized kidnappings and domestic violence cases center around attractive people. Not that it isn't happening to ugly people, it just doesn't make the tv and newsstands as much.
Hot or not, she was an adult and he was a child. She was responsible for making boundaries and she didn't. She is as much a criminal as any adult that takes advantage of a child.

She should have had the same punishment a male, turbo hottie or not, would have gotten.

 

[Nupe2]

Good Post Pete.

I never thought she was that hot (off topic, I know).

NBC made the point clearly last night by running the male "kid toucher" show prior to the woman's interview. The men who have been convicted of merely attempting to engage in sexual acts with a minor have been sentenced to jail while this woman who repeatedly engaged in sexual activity with a minor is given the relative slap on the wrist of 3 years "time out" at home and 7 years probation.

The unknown factor here is the quality of representation by the defendant's Attorney(s). The fact that her attorney was able to convince the prosecutor that her mental state (bipolar) or a prior event (rape) could have been a factor in her behavior could have been what tilted the plea bargain toward a more lenient punishment. Having said that, I still believe a male defendant with a similar background would have a much more difficult time convincing a prosecutor that such a deal was in the best interest of justice and the community. I think, although they would probably deny it, the States Attorney or District Attorney would weigh that decision on how the community would react immediately and in the voting booth. In the case of the female defendant, they might get a pass; with the male defendant, not as likely.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Geek]

Matt said "hot" and "beautiful" a little too much. I hope his wife made him sleep on the couch.

 

[Pete]

So was the boy a "victim" in the true sense of the word? Not the technical sense.

 

[Geek]

So was the boy a "victim" in the true sense of the word? Not the technical sense.

That boy is a victm of the turbo slut and his awful parents. Why was she driving him to basketball games Why is he taking 100 mile trips with her and Mom doesn't know? If you ignore your kids they can be victims at anytime. And I don't believe her stupid excuses.

 

[DoWhat]

So was the boy a "victim" in the true sense of the word?

Just a LUCKY little bastard.

 

[harleygirl]

So was the boy a "victim" in the true sense of the word? Not the technical sense.

All the details of the case has not been disclosed. Folks are assuming they had mainstream sexual relations. What if she was doing other things, like pretending she was the man, (use your imagination), she made him perform some type of act on an animal, or even made him perform a sex act on another fellow why she watched........would people think differently? Would she have been given a harsher sentence? Would the male population stop wondering where she was when they were a young lad?

 

[Kain99]

Double standards are an issue however not in this case. Debra was a diagnosed nutbag. Severe Bipolar disorder, that's why she's wearing the ankle braclet.

Good ol' insanity pleas.... work everytime!

 

[Pete]

All the details of the case has not been disclosed. Folks are assuming they had mainstream sexual relations. What if she was doing other things, like pretending she was the man, (use your imagination), she made him perform some type of act on an animal, or even made him perform a sex act on another fellow why she watched........would people think differently? Would she have been given a harsher sentence? Would the male population stop wondering where she was when they were a young lad?

Most of the facts have been publisized and it was in fact a "typical" sexual relationship except for age. She said it was predominately but not exclusively "oral".

This is the deal, they had a sexual relationship. The boy acted basically no different that the 4 dozen 20+ year olds that go to Catamerans on a Saturday to get there groove on with the hottest chick they can score with, he just happened to be 14.

 

[harleygirl]

But again, if she was doing something with the 14 year old that lawyers, judges, and every other male out there slapping each other with high fives found repulsive, she would be behind bars. It is okay to have sexual relations, but let her make the 14 year old do a re-enactment of brokeback mountain, and people would think differently..........

 

[Pete]

But again, if she was doing something with the 14 year old that lawyers, judges, and every other male out there slapping each other with high fives found repulsive, she would be behind bars. It is okay to have sexual relations, but let her make the 14 year old do a re-enactment of brokeback mountain, and people would think differently..........

Stop changing the facts. She didn't make him scrog a goat. That is what I am talking about. Our culture has paradigms. Gay=Not OK. Scoring with a hottie= Do we continue to fight these paradigms or admit they exist and it is no big deal.

This kid is likely not going to show up on Oprah weeping about how he was abused. He will no doubt revel in his studliness for some time.

 

[bresamil]

Most of the facts have been publisized and it was in fact a "typical" sexual relationship except for age. She said it was predominately but not exclusively "oral".

This is the deal, they had a sexual relationship. The boy acted basically no different that the 4 dozen 20+ year olds that go to Catamerans on a Saturday to get there groove on with the hottest chick they can score with, he just happened to be 14.

Even if he's 6'2" and 200 lbs (which he was), which denotes physical maturity, he was not emotionally mature enough to be involved. He can not make adult decisions. If 14 year old boys could take on that emotional and sexual responsibility we would have them take on other responsibilities like going to war and allow them to drink alcohol legally and marry and vote. Heck I know guys in their 30s who aren't mature enough to do any of that.

 

[Pete]

Even if he's 6'2" and 200 lbs (which he was), which denotes physical maturity, he was not emotionally mature enough to be involved. He can not make adult decisions. If 14 year old boys could take on that emotional and sexual responsibility we would have them take on other responsibilities like going to war and allow them to drink alcohol legally and marry and vote. Heck I know guys in their 30s who aren't mature enough to do any of that.

First men look at sexual relation totally different than females. Second you hit the nail on the head in your joke. When it comes to pursuit of chicks the 14 year old was probably firing on the same number of brain cells as any number of Catamerans customers last Saturday.

 

[bresamil]

First men look at sexual relation totally different than females. Second you hit the nail on the head in your joke. When it comes to pursuit of chicks the 14 year old was probably firing on the same number of brain cells as any number of Catamerans customers last Saturday.

True. Sad but true.

But let me play the mother of a 14 year old role here, as I am one. I am a normal adult female (okay I'm sure someone will disagree with that but for arguments sake ).... I am surrounded by 14 year olds - many that look 20 something. I do not view any of them as sexual creatures - someone to consider as a potential sexual partner. I view them as children, because that's what they are.

 

[kwillia]

True. Sad but true.

But let me play the mother of a 14 year old role here, as I am one. I am a normal adult female (okay I'm sure someone will disagree with that but for arguments sake ).... I am surrounded by 14 year olds - many that look 20 something. I do not view any of them as sexual creatures - someone to consider as a potential sexual partner. I view them as children, because that's what they are.

Thank you. You hit the nail smack dab on the head with this post and the one you posted before it.