Estranged from parents

[Roman]

Leaving shortly to spend a few hours on a date!

Be careful driving. Do you have a plow for that cute little Miata?

 

[Railroad]

Be careful driving. Do you have a plow for that cute little Miata?

Nope, but it did just fine. Roads were just wet, but I bet they'll freeze later on.

The date was great!!! Very cool lady. We shall see how it goes from here.

 

[ZARA]

Nope, but it did just fine. Roads were just wet, but I bet they'll freeze later on.

The date was great!!! Very cool lady. We shall see how it goes from here.

Damn that was fast, speed dating?

Glad you enjoyed yourself!

 

[Railroad]

Damn that was fast, speed dating?

Glad you enjoyed yourself!

I should continue this in "Dating & Marriage." Totally blew the topicality here and did NOT want to hijack this thread. We just met for coffee and conversation.

 

[acommondisaster]

And honestly, he may never come around. You need to make changes for yourself so you can be a better person with a happier life, not for someone else.

I do not think, I know, that my mother will never change her behavior. It would stun me if she ever even acknowledged her behavior, let alone took ownership of it. I speak to her now but it's on my terms, and when she starts in I simply bid her goodbye and hang up. I choose not to put myself in any position where she can make me unhappy, and I am under no obligation to deal with her manipulation.

A few halfassed apologies don't erase the slate.

I need to ask you - has the behavior abated at all because of you hang up on her, or does that infuriate her even more. The situation I'm familiar with, hanging up seems to make it worse. Once she hangs up on her mother, her mother will call her own mother to get her involved in the drama, and before long the grandmother is calling to berate her for being a bad daughter to her mother, when she should really be thankful. It's a family of headcases.

 

[vraiblonde]

I need to ask you - has the behavior abated at all because of you hang up on her, or does that infuriate her even more. The situation I'm familiar with, hanging up seems to make it worse. Once she hangs up on her mother, her mother will call her own mother to get her involved in the drama, and before long the grandmother is calling to berate her for being a bad daughter to her mother, when she should really be thankful. It's a family of headcases.

She may get pissed and call my aunts, but they would never call and berate me about it. I mean, I do tell her goodbye - I don't just slam the phone down. It's "Okay, I've had enough of this line of conversation, talk to you later, hope you have a nice day."

If my Gran were alive my Mom wouldn't dare call her to complain about me because Gran would light her ass. The crazy pretty much starts and stops with my Mom - everyone else is relatively (ha) normal.

 

[sunnyside393]

She may get pissed and call my aunts, but they would never call and berate me about it. I mean, I do tell her goodbye - I don't just slam the phone down. It's "Okay, I've had enough of this line of conversation, talk to you later, hope you have a nice day."

If my Gran were alive my Mom wouldn't dare call her to complain about me because Gran would light her ass. The crazy pretty much starts and stops with my Mom - everyone else is relatively (ha) normal.

I've tried to estrange myself from my mother but she's a lurker.......social media has made it so easy for her to continue her ways.......it seems I will never be rid of her behavior in my life

 

[acommondisaster]

She may get pissed and call my aunts, but they would never call and berate me about it. I mean, I do tell her goodbye - I don't just slam the phone down. It's "Okay, I've had enough of this line of conversation, talk to you later, hope you have a nice day."

If my Gran were alive my Mom wouldn't dare call her to complain about me because Gran would light her ass. The crazy pretty much starts and stops with my Mom - everyone else is relatively (ha) normal.

She never literally hangs up - she says goodbye - not in a snotty way, but more like "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I can see I'm not going to change your mind - I have to go now, goodbye" and then she hangs up. Her mother hasn't usually stopped berating her at that point, so there's no return "goodbye". This bullying seems to be a family behavior - the mother, her mother's sisters and her grandmother are all of the same temperment. I'm hoping she'll get some professional help to help her learn how to deal with those nutjobs, and to keep from repeating the behavior.

 

[vraiblonde]

She never literally hangs up - she says goodbye - not in a snotty way, but more like "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I can see I'm not going to change your mind - I have to go now, goodbye" and then she hangs up. Her mother hasn't usually stopped berating her at that point, so there's no return "goodbye". This bullying seems to be a family behavior - the mother, her mother's sisters and her grandmother are all of the same temperment. I'm hoping she'll get some professional help to help her learn how to deal with those nutjobs, and to keep from repeating the behavior.

See, that's tough when it's the whole family. My mother is the black sheep of her family; her sisters, brothers, and everyone else are fairly normal. Her sisters are passive, which probably comes with having a bullying older sister. My one aunt lets her daughter and granddaughter take terrible advantage of her, so my mother will call and bully her about allowing them to bully her.

So it could be worse - I could live in the same city as all of them and have her constantly in my business.

 

[RareBreed]

See, that's tough when it's the whole family. My mother is the black sheep of her family; her sisters, brothers, and everyone else are fairly normal. Her sisters are passive, which probably comes with having a bullying older sister. My one aunt lets her daughter and granddaughter take terrible advantage of her, so my mother will call and bully her about allowing them to bully her.

So it could be worse - I could live in the same city as all of them and have her constantly in my business.

Sorta Our 9 year old asked my husband yesterday why Grandpa was stalking us. Husband asked him what he meant. Son said that Grandpa calls every Sunday and wants to know what everyone has been up to during the week. I guess to a 9 year old, that's considered stalking.