even split

[poster]

What protection do you have in place to ensure your child will get his inheritance if you die before your wife? If you go first and leave it all to her, your child is not in line as an heir of hers so it will be entirely up to her if she wants to give even a dime to your kid.

It seems to make more sense that you would will directly to your kid upon your passing.

Our family is going through this right now.
The husband has passed and the wife (step-mother) received all.
Now she is moving away, with all of the belongings and selling the property.
She has her own son so at the time of her passing his children/grandchildren stand to get nothing and her son/grandchildren all.

Unless she chooses to leave something to his family.
His daughters are very upset as they both felt they should have gotten money/belongings when he passed. I as a grandchild of his do not agree with the daughters and feel it's the stepmothers to do with as she pleases. He obviously felt the same or he'd have made other arrangements prior to his death. Personally I hope she spends all and has fun doing it, she worked as hard as he for what they had together and should enjoy it.

 

[bohman]

I had a step-Mom, brother and three step-sisters. When she passed after my Dad all got a share except me and to this day I know not why - but it didn't bother me in the least.

Maybe you just answered your own question - if she knew you didn't need the money and didn't care if you got, maybe she gave it to the "kids" that needed it. Then again, was she a PITA before she passed?

Just agree with the old lady. No point in going to hell before you die.

 

[Kitten143]

okay lets say you both have 100 dollars.

YOUR WAY: Split in half. One half goes to your son. The other half goes to all three of her daughters. so your son gets $50 and her daughers get a little over $16 each.

HER WAY: All 4 get $25 each.

ANOTHER OPTION 1: Tell her she shouldnt have had so many kids with that peice of #### and keep all of the money for your son?

ANOTHER OPTION 2: Ask your self WTFWJD?



So you have four options.

 

[Vince]

Won't have to worry about this because I'll never marry again.

 

[aps45819]

:shrug: I don't understand what he's worried about.
He's going to die first and she's going to split it up how she wants.

The smart thing to do would be to blow it all on hookers, motorcycles and fishing trips before you die. You earned it, you might as well enjoy it.

 

[Lugnut]

The smart thing to do would be to blow it all on hookers, motorcycles and fishing trips before you die. You earned it, you might as well enjoy it.

Truly, one of the forum Wise Ones!!

 

[shuvelhead]

Appreciate all the feedback so far. Maybe I should have been more clear before. It's the wife that says they're all OUR kids more than I feel. We married late in life. All the kids were adults and getting their own lives going. We led lives apart to our 50's. Her stuff was hers and mine was mine. We put in the same amount of money every month but I get a couple big chunks extra a year in bonuses. Here's the clincher for me, I guess. Ever since we got together, my kid has treated her like a queen showering her with affection and care and hugs and all that. While hers really haven't seemed to want to have much to do with me. Hugs seem forced. They seem to resent me like they'd rather their mom be miserable alone and doling out all her money to them. They don't care if they ever talk to me and in the early days seemed just like big users (and one still is really bad), but mine never asked for nothing.
If we had continued life apart my kid would be getting all my stuff and hers hers. This is the plain truth and nothing but the truth. What do you think about it now with more details. This is a really, really touchy subject for us.

 

[czygvtwkr]

Sounds like you should have never gotten married.

 

[bresamil]

Appreciate all the feedback so far. Maybe I should have been more clear before. It's the wife that says they're all OUR kids more than I feel. We married late in life. All the kids were adults and getting their own lives going. We led lives apart to our 50's. Her stuff was hers and mine was mine. We put in the same amount of money every month but I get a couple big chunks extra a year in bonuses. Here's the clincher for me, I guess. Ever since we got together, my kid has treated her like a queen showering her with affection and care and hugs and all that. While hers really haven't seemed to want to have much to do with me. Hugs seem forced. They seem to resent me like they'd rather their mom be miserable alone and doling out all her money to them. They don't care if they ever talk to me and in the early days seemed just like big users (and one still is really bad), but mine never asked for nothing.
If we had continued life apart my kid would be getting all my stuff and hers hers. This is the plain truth and nothing but the truth. What do you think about it now with more details. This is a really, really touchy subject for us.

First your wills are separate. Second, you cannot bequeath anything jointly owned to someone else without the agreement of the joint owner.
Do YOUR will and bequeath YOUR possessions and monies as YOU see fit. Anything you own jointly will automatically go to the joint owner, who I would presume is your wife.

 

[poster]

Appreciate all the feedback so far. Maybe I should have been more clear before. It's the wife that says they're all OUR kids more than I feel. We married late in life. All the kids were adults and getting their own lives going. We led lives apart to our 50's. Her stuff was hers and mine was mine. We put in the same amount of money every month but I get a couple big chunks extra a year in bonuses. Here's the clincher for me, I guess. Ever since we got together, my kid has treated her like a queen showering her with affection and care and hugs and all that. While hers really haven't seemed to want to have much to do with me. Hugs seem forced. They seem to resent me like they'd rather their mom be miserable alone and doling out all her money to them. They don't care if they ever talk to me and in the early days seemed just like big users (and one still is really bad), but mine never asked for nothing.
If we had continued life apart my kid would be getting all my stuff and hers hers. This is the plain truth and nothing but the truth. What do you think about it now with more details. This is a really, really touchy subject for us.

I think your wife needs to know how her kids make you feel.
Does she already know?

Are there personal/family items you can part with now?
Maybe just giving them the things you want whoever to have now will get you past this. Or is this strictly a monetary issue?

 

[poster]

There's also the senario of the surviving spouse living a long time after.
What is that person supposed to live off of?
Have you both been planning to live in comfort in your old age?
Why would one or the other of you give that away to surviving children if it's needed?