Gas
- Thread starter Otter
- Start date
She won't keep the dang training pants on!!!
in her Uncles mouth when she was a baby. 
MMDad said:
All of us parents have dealt with some nasty stuff, but that one is great!
He should have known better since he already had a grown son. But... he was laying on his back on the floor holding the Bug up above him and I warned him that she just ate... to late...
When she was older, she was so surprised when her "baby" pooped. Her Grandmother put raisins in her dolls diapers.
Techno Kat
New Member
What cute stories! I especially love the idea of putting raisins in the dolls diaper. lol
Very true! Can you buy butt insurance? I could make a sh!t load off of her (
It's just life, ya' know. I have a very nice writing by Irma Bombeck I'll post. I just love it!
camily
Peace
Now Celie isn't handicapped, but I just substitute her kidney disease. This is so sweet!
The Special Mother written by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instruct His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
“Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”
“Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia.”
“Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew.”
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a handicapped child.”
The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy.”
“Exactly,” smiles God, “Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”
“But has she patience?” asks the angel.
“I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.”
“I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”
“But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.” God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect –she has just enough selfishness.” The angel gasps – “selfishness? Is that a virtue?”
God nods. “if she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a “spoken word”. Nor, will she consider a “step” ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!”
“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty, prejudice…and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side.”
“And what about her Patron saint?” asks the angle, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, “A mirror will suffice"
Not that I think I Saintly or anything guys! Don't get the wrong idea.
The Special Mother written by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instruct His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
“Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”
“Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia.”
“Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew.”
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a handicapped child.”
The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy.”
“Exactly,” smiles God, “Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”
“But has she patience?” asks the angel.
“I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.”
“I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”
“But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.” God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect –she has just enough selfishness.” The angel gasps – “selfishness? Is that a virtue?”
God nods. “if she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a “spoken word”. Nor, will she consider a “step” ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!”
“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty, prejudice…and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side.”
“And what about her Patron saint?” asks the angle, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, “A mirror will suffice"
Not that I think I Saintly or anything guys! Don't get the wrong idea.