Hate your in-laws?

[BadGirl]

I don't even know what to call my in-laws.

Currently I call them "Mr. LastName.....Mrs. LastName", but that seems so formal, yet they have never invited me to call them anything else.

Calling them by their first names sounds too informal, and calling them by "Mom and Dad" is just too comfortable for the kind of distant relationship we have.

Guess I will stick with "Mr. and Mrs. LastName".

 

[molly_21]

My FIL died before I ever met my husband. My MIL is nice enough. But I think she is clueless/oblivious of what is going on around her. I think she is in her old little world alot of the times, to the point were she would offer myself or my husband food that neither one of us likes and she knows it and then claims she forgets (not sure if it is side effect of medication or other issues or like I stated she just does not want to give a ####). My SIL on the other hand. I love that girl. She is the sister I never had. She is a keeper.

 

[vraiblonde]

Calling them by their first names sounds too informal,

Really? I called all my inlaws by their first names except Larry's dad, who I nicknamed Pop. But you said you don't really have a relationship with them, so I can understand your discomfort. It just seems odd that they wouldn't have invited you to call them by their first names by now.

 

[Ken King]

Really? I called all my inlaws by their first names except Larry's dad, who I nicknamed Pop. But you said you don't really have a relationship with them, so I can understand your discomfort. It just seems odd that they wouldn't have invited you to call them by their first names by now.

You would think she would call them Itsmom and Itsdad.

 

[Larry Gude]

You would think she would call them Itsmom and Itsdad.

Brilliant!!!!!

 

[vraiblonde]

You would think she would call them Itsmom and Itsdad.

And that is how she will think of them from this day forward.

 

[Larry Gude]

And that is how she will think of them from this day forward.

No. They will be Mrs. Itsmom and Mr. Itsdad.

 

[MMM_donuts]

I wish I could do a better job of explaining my MIL's behavior. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced and I just don't know what to think about it.

She responds very poorly to bluntness and confrontation. She mentally retreats and then resurfaces a little while later with no apparent recollection of any of it. She is very sad and depressed, generally unhappy all the time. Her pleasant demeanor doesn't match the stuff that comes out of her mouth. Everything - and I do meant everything - is tied into her self confidence. Don't have that 3rd blooming onion maker out for display at thanksgiving? Clearly you hate her for that one time 6 years ago when she thoughtfully gave you the light blue socks you once mentioned were cute.

It's illogical to me and I don't know how to deal with it. My husband dreads dealing with her but also feels sorry for her because she is so child-like at times. I don't know, I don't have any family and I never really have so perhaps I just don't get it. It's exhausting. We have tried just letting things happen and dealing with the consequences later but that escalated and was much worse than watching everything we say and do. Again, I really only see her once or twice a year and it's THAT big of a deal because those encounters have such dramatic consequences for months afterward.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Thanks. It really is awful. For all these years I think that he just didnt want to admitt or accept that they were treated like that...but this summer at his families reunion (300+ family members) each family got up on stage w/ their children & grandchildren and they would be introduced one by one. When it was time for his family to go up his mom went through all of DH siblings & their children she even brought pictures of his siblings that were not able to attend and spoke about them. When she had gone through everyone except our family she walked off stage handed the microphone to her brother so he could introduce his family and he goes "Arent you forgetting about your son and his family" You could hear people gasping and whispering. It was so embarrassing. The look on Dh face was just gut wrenching.

Stupid me thought what a great memory to have had stood off to the side of the stage to video tape the whole thing. I had to delete it.

My daughter's grandfather has refused to even met her. He lives in Leonardtown. Can't wait until we bump into him one day so I can tell her this is your ####### of a grandfather. Mr. President of a very profound business in the Southern Maryland area, f you.

 

[RoseRed]

My daughter's grandfather has refused to even met her. He lives in Leonardtown. Can't wait until we bump into him one day so I can tell her this is your ####### of a grandfather. Mr. President of a very profound business in the Southern Maryland area, f you.

Why does he refuse?

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Why does he refuse?

Her father is an ass and he doesn't want anything to do with him, so therefore he doesn't want anything to do with her. I offered upon her birth to allow him to know her without her father present, he didn't want to. Punish the innocent child. His loss. she's a great kid and I'm so glad she's all mine. My family makes up for his family being so dysfunctional, they love her unconditionally. His mother sees her one or twice a year, and doesn't take the time to get to know her, so to my daughter she's a stranger. Now that she's going on 9, she understands it's her grandmother, but she doesn't "know" her. My mother is her grandmother, and she gets all the love and attention a granddaughter deserves from her.

 

[Roman]

Her father is an ass and he doesn't want anything to do with him, so therefore he doesn't want anything to do with her. I offered upon her birth to allow him to know her without her father present, he didn't want to. Punish the innocent child. His loss. she's a great kid and I'm so glad she's all mine. My family makes up for his family being so dysfunctional, they love her unconditionally. His mother sees her one or twice a year, and doesn't take the time to get to know her, so to my daughter she's a stranger. Now that she's going on 9, she understands it's her grandmother, but she doesn't "know" her. My mother is her grandmother, and she gets all the love and attention a granddaughter deserves from her.

Stories like this, make me sad.

 

[jaie]

My in-laws are great! It's my family that's crazy! I have nothing to do with my family anymore so my husband family has become my family.

 

[RoseRed]

Her father is an ass and he doesn't want anything to do with him, so therefore he doesn't want anything to do with her. I offered upon her birth to allow him to know her without her father present, he didn't want to. Punish the innocent child. His loss. she's a great kid and I'm so glad she's all mine. My family makes up for his family being so dysfunctional, they love her unconditionally. His mother sees her one or twice a year, and doesn't take the time to get to know her, so to my daughter she's a stranger. Now that she's going on 9, she understands it's her grandmother, but she doesn't "know" her. My mother is her grandmother, and she gets all the love and attention a granddaughter deserves from her.

She is fortunate to have your family to make up for their transgressions.

 

[Tami2red]

My x-FIL is wonderful. My x-mil is a crazy bi@tch. She STOLE things left to me by my Grandparents. REFUSES to even give me my kids baby pics. Just because she can. Those are still at her house because the x insisted we live there to take care of her.

 

[FED_UP]

My x-FIL is wonderful. My x-mil is a crazy bi@tch. She STOLE things left to me by my Grandparents. REFUSES to even give me my kids baby pics. Just because she can. Those are still at her house because the x insisted we live there to take care of her.

Where you on Judge Judy, that sounds familiar? Judge maid them a~~holes make copies of the photos, and return the items. The only thing I don't like about in-laws is that they use you as if they were your brother or sister. Sorry your blood is not in my vein, be more respectful, I married your sis/bro, not you. So we are expected to give in to the in-laws because your part of the family now by law.

 

[acommondisaster]

I don't even know what to call my in-laws.

Currently I call them "Mr. LastName.....Mrs. LastName", but that seems so formal, yet they have never invited me to call them anything else.

Calling them by their first names sounds too informal, and calling them by "Mom and Dad" is just too comfortable for the kind of distant relationship we have.

Guess I will stick with "Mr. and Mrs. LastName".

I didn't call my inlaws ANYTHING for years. When we met, she told me not to call her Mrs xxxxx, but either by her first name or Mom. No way I could call her Mom, I'd just met her and I wasn't brought up to call my elders by their first name, so I avoided it for years. When DIL #2 came along, she asked me what I called our MIL, and I explained - she said she did the same thing - she had always called her Mrs. xxxxxx prior to getting married and had gotten the same speech from our MIL. I don't know when it changed, but one day it became Mom and Dad - all of us DIL's started calling them that at different points in our marriages.

 

[acommondisaster]

On the subject of in-laws, I guess they aren't really mine, but rather my son's. his mother-in-law is a walking psychosis. One minute she's an accomplished business woman, the next she's a raging psycho.

I have seen her say the worst things possible to her daughter, to the point where even I was in tears, to think someone could say such cruel things to their daughter - for no reason. She's jealous of the little time we spend with our grandkids and daughter in law and son, she's brutally cruel. She's manipulative, threatening things, demanding past gifts be given back, even demanding the shoes on her own grandson's feet, saying they're disowned, accusing my son of unthinkable things, threats to call CPS (even though there is NO reason). She berates her daughter and thinks we are the devil's spawn.

But then she's nice, like nothing happened, and thinks we should all have dinner together or plan a vacation. I can't stand to be in the same room with her, for how she has treated her beautiful daughter. But my DIL desperately wants a relationship with this nutjob, and that is her choice to make - though I've told her I think she'd be better off going to get counseling to figure out how to deal with her without feeding into her frenzies.

Unfortunately, this means our son and his wife have to divide their time between two families - but I'm just not willing or able to forgive or forget what I've seen this woman do to my DIL and my son, nor to a lesser extent I can't forget the things she has said about us in her jealous rages. My husband thinks she's crazy, but he's much nicer than me and would put up with her. I don't think I'll ever be ready to.

 

[Larry Gude]

My most recent X in laws were fabulous.

The only downside, an enormous one, was how mad she would make her daughter. By and large, I enjoyed the heck out of their company and they were always very welcoming and warm to me.

 

[Tami2red]

Where you on Judge Judy, that sounds familiar? Judge maid them a~~holes make copies of the photos, and return the items. The only thing I don't like about in-laws is that they use you as if they were your brother or sister. Sorry your blood is not in my vein, be more respectful, I married your sis/bro, not you. So we are expected to give in to the in-laws because your part of the family now by law.

Funny thing is, my kids are NOT related to her in any way. In fact, they can't stand her. I have since divorced her son. (Best. Decision. Ever.) She still won't give me anything back.