Home Alone In Filth
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Pete
Repete
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Originally posted by dems4me
There is no compromise. They are the parents, they are responsible for providing a home for the kid. They are not doing it. Their fault, their responsibility, simple, a spade is a spade. 10 year olds do not have "initiative" when it comes to anything more than pokemon cards, and quite frankly he shouldn't have to.Originally posted by Pete
B]I understand now why you are a liberal.]
1) it's nobodys business if I lived with an alcoholic or not, I'm just trying to think of a compromise because only the alcoholic can decide and choose to not drink or frequent to bar... the odds are - she is not going to change any time soon
2) the father should either a) put his foot down and stop enabling; or b) clean the mess up himself or c) pay the kid to do it temporarily for money!! not free an allowance
3) It obviously isn't bothering any of the 3 people involved...because either of the three situations would have started happening a) the wifey would start drinking at home thereby saving money and clean while she drinks; b) the boy would be frustrated and out of frustration if he was would try to clean it up or c) the father would have started cleaning up.
The issue was more soo about the boy being on his own at 10 all day while the wife was at the bar and then it was legal so now the focus is on the messy households. Some folks don't mind living in a mess -- these people don't or someone would have started cleaning up :shrug:
Call a spade a spade, if this story is true, they are losers. No excuses.
D
dems4me
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hire a maid? realistically if you get authorities involved nothing will come of it other than arguing and fighting and as a result I was worried about the kid getting the brunt of it... the kid should start learning responsibilities and having chores... if its just a matter of a litter box and dirty counters as was mentioned... there should be no problem paying a few bucks and teaching the kid responsibility. The father works (he's responsible) and the mother has problems with alcohol -- the root of the problem is the alleged alcoholism -- and only the alcoholic can decide to change and quit. Getting the mother to change her ways is out of the question -- only she can decide that for herself. This way the house will be somewhat livable -- clean litter boxes, and the counters clean and the boy earns an allowance :shrug:
hire a maid? realistically if you get authorities involved nothing will come of it other than arguing and fighting and as a result I was worried about the kid getting the brunt of it... the kid should start learning responsibilities and having chores... if its just a matter of a litter box and dirty counters as was mentioned... there should be no problem paying a few bucks and teaching the kid responsibility. The father works (he's responsible) and the mother has problems with alcohol -- the root of the problem is the alleged alcoholism -- and only the alcoholic can decide to change and quit. Getting the mother to change her ways is out of the question -- only she can decide that for herself. This way the house will be somewhat livable -- clean litter boxes, and the counters clean and the boy earns an allowance :shrug:
D
dems4me
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But don't you think that if it really bothered or embarassed the boy he'd clean a litter box or clean a counter??
But don't you think that if it really bothered or embarassed the boy he'd clean a litter box or clean a counter??
Pete
Repete
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The boy needs to "learn responsibility" ? and which one of the stellar individuals should be his mentor? The mom who in a drunk and a pig, or the dad who is a loser and a pig?
We are not talking aobut the Cleavers here Wally, not talking aobut a 10 year old who simply won't pick up after himself.
Geeezus are you emptyheaded,
The boy needs to "learn responsibility" ? and which one of the stellar individuals should be his mentor? The mom who in a drunk and a pig, or the dad who is a loser and a pig?
We are not talking aobut the Cleavers here Wally, not talking aobut a 10 year old who simply won't pick up after himself.
D
dems4me
Guest
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What would you suggest -- hold the mother at gunpoint not to drink anymore -- lock her in a room? She is not being a fit mother, she is being an alcoholic -- I see it as hand in hand :shrug:
You can't force anyone to stop drinking -- authorities might be able to enforce it -- but I think there has to be an awfully lot of proof that the mother is unfit for the authorities to remove the boy from the current situation (dirty litterbox and dirty counters I don't think would qualify) -- I was just trying to make it livable for all... and it seemed like giving the kid two little chores was not a bad idea. Cleaning a litter box and counters daily is not that big of a deal or time consuming -- let alone pay him for it and teach him to save money as well :shrug:
Just wondering, if no is home all day as described... isn't it the boy's mess on the counter anyways (excluding the litter box issue) :shrug:
What would you suggest -- hold the mother at gunpoint not to drink anymore -- lock her in a room? She is not being a fit mother, she is being an alcoholic -- I see it as hand in hand :shrug:
You can't force anyone to stop drinking -- authorities might be able to enforce it -- but I think there has to be an awfully lot of proof that the mother is unfit for the authorities to remove the boy from the current situation (dirty litterbox and dirty counters I don't think would qualify) -- I was just trying to make it livable for all... and it seemed like giving the kid two little chores was not a bad idea. Cleaning a litter box and counters daily is not that big of a deal or time consuming -- let alone pay him for it and teach him to save money as well :shrug:
Just wondering, if no is home all day as described... isn't it the boy's mess on the counter anyways (excluding the litter box issue) :shrug:
Tonio
Asperger's Poster Child
Re, Re, Re, Re, Re, Respect, just a little bit, baby, just a little bit...
Dems, I don't think you understand. Without a functioning, rational adult's influence, the boy might not know any different. Who is supposed to ask the boy to do chores? Neither adult seems to give a damn about anything but themselves.
Originally posted by dems4me
But don't you think that if it really bothered or embarassed the boy he'd clean a litter box or clean a counter??
Dems, I don't think you understand. Without a functioning, rational adult's influence, the boy might not know any different. Who is supposed to ask the boy to do chores? Neither adult seems to give a damn about anything but themselves.
Suz
33 yrs & we r still n luv
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I can see where you would get the idea (your first 2 lines) and the mother does disgust me-because of the neglect for the boy. Nobody is jumping to conclusions that aren't on target or good suggestions (the allowance/cleaning idea). Sharon, meet me sometime. I'll be glad to introduce you to her and let you form your own opinion-I bet you it won't be far off from what I have been saying.
Now I guess, I wish I knew how to close this thread..........
I can see where you would get the idea (your first 2 lines) and the mother does disgust me-because of the neglect for the boy. Nobody is jumping to conclusions that aren't on target or good suggestions (the allowance/cleaning idea). Sharon, meet me sometime. I'll be glad to introduce you to her and let you form your own opinion-I bet you it won't be far off from what I have been saying.
Now I guess, I wish I knew how to close this thread..........
D
dems4me
Guest
Re: Re, Re, Re, Re, Re, Respect, just a little bit, baby, just a little bit...
he can see it from friends houses or maybe other relatives houses :shrug:
he can see it from friends houses or maybe other relatives houses :shrug:
Truthfully, I think the best plan is to just not do anything. The chances of this boy ever having a normal life are slim to none. It's really like playing the lottery the odds are not with the boy. If he is left in the home he will either end up like mom or dad or worse a criminal and if he is removed from the home he will most likely end up bounced from foster home to foster home like someone else said. Now by some miracle if he were to be a big winner he might end up in a foster home that isn't just doing it for the money or with a family member that wants him, but truthfully that's very doubtful.
I currently have my nephew for similar reasons. Thankfully I could be here for him but sadly I couldn't for my other nephew and he is currently in a psychiatric group home. It's hard dealing with the fact I couldn't rescue them both but I had to pick the one I thought I could help and the one I could feel safe having around my children.
It's sad what parents do to their children. But I bet anything that mom's folks (or at least one of them) was a drunk too, or maybe she was molested or abused or whatever. Sure that shouldn't be an excuse but sad thing is if at some point the abused or neglected child doesn't get some serious psychiatric help they will just keep repeating the cycle generation after generation.
I currently have my nephew for similar reasons. Thankfully I could be here for him but sadly I couldn't for my other nephew and he is currently in a psychiatric group home. It's hard dealing with the fact I couldn't rescue them both but I had to pick the one I thought I could help and the one I could feel safe having around my children.
It's sad what parents do to their children. But I bet anything that mom's folks (or at least one of them) was a drunk too, or maybe she was molested or abused or whatever. Sure that shouldn't be an excuse but sad thing is if at some point the abused or neglected child doesn't get some serious psychiatric help they will just keep repeating the cycle generation after generation.
D
dems4me
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Just trying to help :shrug:
Just trying to help :shrug:
D
dems4me
Guest
Re: Re, Re, Re, Re, Re, Respect, just a little bit, baby, just a little bit...
Thanks Tonio -- that's a lot nicer way to explain it to me than name calling
Thanks Tonio -- that's a lot nicer way to explain it to me than name calling
maybe dems just needs some chores 