i am a 39 yr old mail, i met a women i went school with who was captain of chear leaders and so forth, i was fat with pimples. i grew older lost weight ,became attractive,got married and devorsed. i meet lori at a restaurant she said she was this and that in high school but i didn't remember her . she was a little weathered but qute. we lived together for 8 mos. she had 3 sons . they had alot of problems such as adhd. they seem to disrespect me and ignore me . we broke up, i miss her but i can stand her kids, i have moved on but i miss her and am lonely
i left my lori after 8 mos.
- Thread starter MARSAM
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SxyPrincess
New Member
I dont meen tu sownd rude but yer inglish is reely bad. 
Kan I ask wut MPD yu ar?
Kan I ask wut MPD yu ar?
K
Kain99
Guest
Lemme tell ya! Marriage can be rot gut hard sometimes. There are days ya just wanna stangle the love of your life but todays laws just won't allow it. 
Since we can't go back to the wild west we get Divorced. Then, things really start to suck! It isn't easy being alone but I do have one peice of really good advice for you.
Spend this time alone growing. Get to know yourself all over again. Don't rush into another relationship. You'll be a better man if you stay patient and wait until the love of your life comes along.
I can promise you now, if my husband wasn't the absolute love of my life he'd of been either dead or gone long ago.
Marriage is hard and it takes every ounce of Love, Understanding, Patience, etc etc etc etc etc etc... You can imagine.
Just enjoy your freedom and become a better man. If not you could find yourself either 6 feet under or Divorced again.
Ok....so, I had a hard day.
Since we can't go back to the wild west we get Divorced. Then, things really start to suck! It isn't easy being alone but I do have one peice of really good advice for you.
Spend this time alone growing. Get to know yourself all over again. Don't rush into another relationship. You'll be a better man if you stay patient and wait until the love of your life comes along.
I can promise you now, if my husband wasn't the absolute love of my life he'd of been either dead or gone long ago.
Marriage is hard and it takes every ounce of Love, Understanding, Patience, etc etc etc etc etc etc... You can imagine.
Just enjoy your freedom and become a better man. If not you could find yourself either 6 feet under or Divorced again.
Ok....so, I had a hard day.
K
Kizzy
Guest
Now, be nice to the newbie. We will help him write better and use a smell checker. 
Kain, very good advice! Lori is a packaged deal and if you cannot love the entire package it is best to move on.
Last edited by a moderator:
SxyPrincess
New Member
Originally posted by IM4Change
Sorry, but this user just doesn't sound "genuine." If he is in fact, stating the truth, I apologize for my rudeness.
MARSAM
SxyPrincess
New Member
Oh for crap's sake, already!
yakky doodle
New Member
Originally posted by SxyPrincess
Oh for crap's sake, already!
well
duh Sxy. Dontcha know it's okay for some MPDs and not others. 
geez! some people's kids!
SxyPrincess
New Member
Old Dog
Member
Marsam, yah, the stepwars suck.
I'm not real clear on what it is you want. Just sympathy? Or perhaps a way to get back into life?
I'm in the stepwars too so I can certainly understand the frustration of living with kids that you have no control over and who don't respect you.
Take care,
Melody
I'm not real clear on what it is you want. Just sympathy? Or perhaps a way to get back into life?
I'm in the stepwars too so I can certainly understand the frustration of living with kids that you have no control over and who don't respect you.
Take care,
Melody
J
justhangn
Guest
It sounds like you two need to understand the fact that YOU are supposed to be the adult and if you new significant other does nothing to stop the brats from walking all over you, YOU need to find another bed to warm.
Sometimes it's hard to get the respect you want out of your own kids, but they still need correction. Keep trying.
Do people who enter these type of relationships talk about how to handle the parenting before they get too involved with someone else's kids. Or are they too caught up in the romance of the moment and enter without a thought?This question is not to anyone in gerneal, just those that would like to answer. I'm not picking on anyone.
Old Dog
Member
justhangn,
That's a rather quick, shallow assessment of the situation.
But then perhaps I misunderstand the reason for being of the Dating and Marriage forum. Seems it says on the outside "Dating is harder than ever these days - almost as hard as being married. Let's talk about relationships!" I did not realize it was just a place for trivial stuff and telling folks to "just get over it".
Problems in step situations frequently have little to do with "they're the kids and you're the adult"... rather it has to do with "I'm not the kids' parent and the one that is thinks I should just suck it up and be the adult"... sort of sounds like your advice.
In my particular situation it was specifically stated that I would hold a certain type of parental role... which turned out not to be the case... and so we are renegotiating that aspect with a distance of 75 miles between us.
Do I have some responsibility for some of the probs in my situation... sure enough. But being involved in a step situation isn't quite the same as signing up for a job and then finding out the job description was a lie... although there are certainly similarities.
Take care,
Melody
That's a rather quick, shallow assessment of the situation.
But then perhaps I misunderstand the reason for being of the Dating and Marriage forum. Seems it says on the outside "Dating is harder than ever these days - almost as hard as being married. Let's talk about relationships!" I did not realize it was just a place for trivial stuff and telling folks to "just get over it".
Problems in step situations frequently have little to do with "they're the kids and you're the adult"... rather it has to do with "I'm not the kids' parent and the one that is thinks I should just suck it up and be the adult"... sort of sounds like your advice.
In my particular situation it was specifically stated that I would hold a certain type of parental role... which turned out not to be the case... and so we are renegotiating that aspect with a distance of 75 miles between us.
Do I have some responsibility for some of the probs in my situation... sure enough. But being involved in a step situation isn't quite the same as signing up for a job and then finding out the job description was a lie... although there are certainly similarities.
Take care,
Melody
Old Dog
Member
Sharon...
I expect it's pretty much like any two people getting together. How much time does anyone really spend discussing childrearing with any future mate?
Many times not enough discussion is held... certainly my case. In some cases I know of, the existence of children came as somewhat of a surpise (lovely paternity test notices in the mail). But I think in just about any case there can be a vast amount of difference between discussion and day-to-day life.
Even if you've spent time with the kids before hand, the differences can arise only after the "I do's" have been said and it finally sinks home to the kid that you're not going away. Or it finally sinks in to the other parent that her chances of reconciling her relationship with your dear spouse are now definitely dead.
In my case, it just never occurred to me that behavior that was kind of understandable at when the kid was 7 would still be considered reasonable behavior by my spouse when the kid is 11.
Take care,
Melody
I expect it's pretty much like any two people getting together. How much time does anyone really spend discussing childrearing with any future mate?
Many times not enough discussion is held... certainly my case. In some cases I know of, the existence of children came as somewhat of a surpise (lovely paternity test notices in the mail). But I think in just about any case there can be a vast amount of difference between discussion and day-to-day life.
Even if you've spent time with the kids before hand, the differences can arise only after the "I do's" have been said and it finally sinks home to the kid that you're not going away. Or it finally sinks in to the other parent that her chances of reconciling her relationship with your dear spouse are now definitely dead.
In my case, it just never occurred to me that behavior that was kind of understandable at when the kid was 7 would still be considered reasonable behavior by my spouse when the kid is 11.
Take care,
Melody
J
justhangn
Guest
Alrighty then, now that I'm used to my new one......
What I am saying is this.
A marriage is like a business; you have two equal parties in control of a single entity.
IF you married this pre-made family without first living with them that is a fault you share with no one but yourself.
Now, to the adult statement….
Your spouse is supposed to lay down the ground rules to his children that you are an equal partner and to be treated with that respect, if the demons do not abide by these rules, they need an attitude adjustment to be given by him.