Idiot Sun Reporter

[huntr1]

What a moron.

IF YOU own a minivan -- we have a snappy Mazda MPV that has squeezed all the joy of driving out of our lives -- you've probably already identified your biggest on-road nightmare.

It's getting a flat tire.

Sure, this'll be my first time changing a flat on the minivan.

Anyway, right away I run into a major problem.

The problem is: I can't find the spare tire.

Oh, I find the jack. And I find the other tools for changing the tire. But I can't find the spare.

Anyway, I finally go to the owner's manual. Which is when I discover the spare tire is located underneath the minivan, secured to the undercarriage.

Apparently, when the vehicle was being built, the Mazda designers got together and said: "Where can we put the spare so that it causes maximum inconvenience for anyone who gets a flat tire?"

And the answer was: Under the minivan! So that a person has to get down on all fours and get his clothes all dirty!

Seconds later, I find out how hard the rest of the operation will be. Very, very hard.

Because in order to get at the spare, I have to -- stay with me here -- insert a lever into a socket on the floor near the second row of seats.

Then I have to crank this lever counterclockwise so the spare slowly lowers to the ground via a cable.

Then I have to jump out and peer under the minivan to see if the spare is all the way down.

if you didn't die, you'd have muscles like Sammy Sosa from all that cranking.

Anyway, I crank, and I crank, and I crank. Hours go by, maybe days. Finally, I get the spare free.

now I discover the genuises at Mazda have generously provided what appears to be the world's tiniest lug nut wrench.

Look, this thing would be too small for the Smurfs to use, never mind a grown man. It's so small I can't get any leverage to loosen the lug nuts.

So I learned my lesson. Get a flat in a minivan, and you better pray you have the best tool of all.

A cell phone.

 

[Bogart]

I hope he never encounters any real strife during his life, like his dorm mates smoking in their room.

 

[huntr1]

If you don't know where your spare tire is, and where all the tire changing tools are in your car, you don't deserve to be driving.

I don't know about you people, but one of the things I find out ON THE SALES LOT is where those items are, and how to access them.

When your spare cranks down from underneath the vehicle, like they do on every truck and MOST vans that I have ever seen, you can tell (or atleast I can) when the tire is on the ground because you don't have gravity helping lower the tire anymore.

This guy should #1 finish the gender modification surgery since he obviously does not have a pair and #2 be ashamed of himself for being such a looser.

 

[aps45819]

What a loser, more wine than California. That was probably the first time he looked in his owners manual.

 

[jwwb2000]

I think he needs a lot of cheese to go with that whine!!

I bet he is related to Janey...

 

[Hot N Bothered]

This guy should #1 finish the gender modification surgery since he obviously does not have a pair

Ahem, what are you saying here? I most certainly do not "have a pair" yet, I have always known where to find my spare tire and have never hesitated to get out and get dirty to change one.

Now that I think about it, I've never actually changed a tire. I've had 5 or 6 flats over the years and I am completely confident that I am able to do so but... :shrug: There's something about getting out the spare that acts like a guy magnet. And no matter what protests a woman makes, the guys always say, "I could never forgive myself I hate to think of my wife/sister/daughter... " Oh well, who am I to fight them over it.

 

[K_Jo]

Ahem, what are you saying here? I most certainly do not "have a pair" yet, I have always known where to find my spare tire and have never hesitated to get out and get dirty to change one.

Now that I think about it, I've never actually changed a tire. I've had 5 or 6 flats over the years and I am completely confident that I am able to do so but... :shrug: There's something about getting out the spare that acts like a guy magnet. And no matter what protests a woman makes, the guys always say, "I could never forgive myself I hate to think of my wife/sister/daughter... " Oh well, who am I to fight them over it.

I've always had cops stop to change tires for me. It's great having boobies. BUT, I do know how to do it. I'm not sure I actually could, but I'm aware of the process.

 

[huntr1]

Ahem, what are you saying here? I most certainly do not "have a pair" yet, I have always known where to find my spare tire and have never hesitated to get out and get dirty to change one.

I said "HE" needs to grow a pair. I did not say "YOU" need to grow a pair. I assume that you are either a female, or a female becoming a male (since you say you do not have a pair "yet"). I have 2 sisters. I have no doubt that both of them know where the spare tires are on their primary vehicles. I have no doubt that 1 of them knows how to get it out and how to change the tire. I have no doubt that the other one would call for a tow, however, I know that she could figure out how to do it herself, push come to shove. I am sure that my mother, wife and mother-in-law could all change a tire themselves too. In fact, I think (make that know) the last two would smack me upside the head if I suggested otherwise.

 

[Lenny]

What a moron. .

Hey, this guy comes from the same neighborhood as that troll Babs Mikulski in Bawl-teemore. He used to hang out in her dad's corner grocery store complaining that penny-candy cost a nickle-a-dozen.

 

[mAlice]

If you don't know where your spare tire is, and where all the tire changing tools are in your car, you don't deserve to be driving.

I know where mine is. It's....








ya' ready for this?


















UNDER my car!