Larry Gude
Strung Out
Wait, so you don't WANNA be angry???
I'm a very angry bitter man.
- Thread starter BlueBird
- Start date
Wait, so you don't WANNA be angry???
BlueBird
Well-Known Member
Why the assumption he doesn't want to be bitter and angry? I've known, know, all kinds of people who embrace being bitter and angry. They like it. They couldn't get out of bed in the morning were it not for that motivation.
He's not wishing it on anyone else.
Enjoy your anger, dude.
Larry, You always like to play devils advocate and look at things from a unique perspective. Your point is well taken and appreciated , but wrong. Being bitter and angry sabotages my happiness and yes I am generally a happy person some of the time. I much prefer being happy. If only I could let things go and not be so bitter about everything. If everyone would just agree with everything I say and agree with the decisions I make while telling me how great I am my life would be perfect.
BOP
Well-Known Member
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Please accept my apologies as I was not clear if you were just venting and otherwise fine or if you do NOT want to be angry and bitter anymore.
I absolutely know people I cam convinced are happy and feel normal with anger. Ok, so, this #### is simple which is not to say easy. It is a conscious choice, for now, to CHOOSE to not get angry or bitter. You work at and change what you can. The rest, you either accept and refuse to take the bitter path or you don't. Vrai's 'get over it' is accurate enough but doesn't offer much in terms of mental process.
Do some reading on the word 'contentment' and see if that is helpful. Inner peace man, I found it a few years ago. Every single decision you make directly affects it. It becomes easier over time, with practice. Being human, it can still come back which is really no fun but I've found it is VERY easy to choose out of it.
It may well require some people and/or other changes. So to speak, it's a lot harder to stop drinking if you spend a lot of time at the bar. It's harder to be at peace with negative people in your life. It is MUCH easier to live with less stuff, money, things and not have negative people in it than to live with the extra stuff and have to pay for it by having a negative person(s). Lots of people can find their compromise. Some can't. All about choices and that is the FIRST step; accepting that YOu get to choose.
BlueBird
Well-Known Member
Please accept my apologies as I was not clear if you were just venting and otherwise fine or if you do NOT want to be angry and bitter anymore.
Ok, so, this #### is simple which is not to say easy. It is a conscious choice, for now, to CHOOSE to not get angry or bitter. You work at and change what you can. The rest, you either accept and refuse to take the bitter path or you don't. Vrai's 'get over it' is accurate enough but doesn't offer much in terms of mental process.
Do some reading on the word 'contentment' and see if that is helpful. Inner peace man, I found it a few years ago. Every single decision you make directly affects it. It becomes easier over time, with practice. Being human, it can still come back which is really no fun but I've found it is VERY easy to choose out of it.
It may well require some people and/or other changes. So to speak, it's a lot harder to stop drinking if you spend a lot of time at the bar. It's harder to be at peace with negative people in your life. It is MUCH easier to live with less stuff, money, things and not have negative people in it than to live with the extra stuff and have to pay for it by having a negative person(s). Lots of people can find their compromise. Some can't. All about choices and that is the FIRST step; accepting that YOu get to choose.
Thanks Larry. My wife says things bother me and eat at me because I care so much. I recently had to let a project go and the new team lead has some pretty radical ideas and a very negative attitude about his job. I am seeing the quality of work degrade and the attitudes of the team dropping significantly as a result. I'm leaving my current postion in a few months and need to let go and not care but I just can't do it - it's very difficult. I've made some recommendations to his superiors to have him removed as I don't want to see years of hard work unravelled. There are other things too (not work related) contributing to my dismay. I'll do some research on contentment. Regarding the job situation I shouldn't care right? I'm leaving in a few months to enjoy retirement, so why do I care and let things bother me? This is the question.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Of COURSE you should care!!! The feelings just 'are' dude. It's what YOU choose to do from there that you can do something about. You did what you could do, spoke out, took action. That's it. That's ALL you can do in that case. From THERE then you gotta let it go. Find your peace. Cut to the chase; your ass is gonna be dead one day. Is THIS the thing you're gonna reflect back on? I doubt it. It seems like a good thing you're getting out of there? So, start preparing for retirement.
Work is such a huge part of what a man is. We are what we do so that's perfectly rational to be bothered about it, deeply. So, you feel how you feel (Vrai taught me that) and now you get to figure out how to 'get over it', move on, let it go, etc, whatever. Maybe think about what you DID and not what it may or may not become after you're gone. :shrug:
I've gone through some changes I never thought I could manage, identity stuff, a few years ago. I felt it killing me. So, that's what I did "Listen, numb nuts, you're gonna be dead one day. You want this to be your dying thoughts?" I accepted I WILL be dead some day and that losing that part of myself in question wasn't ALL I was or am. It felt like setting down a burden I simply could no longer carry and feel good. No regrets. Carried it as far and as best I could. Now, need to move on. I get it when some folks can't do that. It wasn't easy and it would have been far better to be more proactive and evolve but, I'm a hard head so, sometimes, it works out to slam into the wall instead of a slow, gradual, reasonable slowing.
GWguy
*
I felt exactly the same way heading into my retirement. I was concerned that the way things were handled previously would fall by the wayside with the new regime. 2 weeks after retiring, I couldn't care less about the old job and how they were doing it. No longer my issue, no longer anything in the world I could do about it. I was retired, and refocused on home, family, travel, friends.... the REAL important things.
Don't stress over the job AT ALL. Wind down, relax, let the others pick up the stress of the job, and when the time comes, run like hell and don't look back.
Misfit
Lawful neutral
luvmygdaughters
Well-Known Member
JeJeTe;5557909]So you've met my ex boyfriend? 
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[/QUOTE]flowerlover
Active Member
Finally a philosophy that makes sense!Enjoy your anger, dude.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Finally a philosophy that makes sense!
Except in his case he doesn't wanna be.
BlueBird
Well-Known Member
Do angry people really enjoy being angry? If happiness was as simple as making a decision to be happy than the world would be a happy place.
There was good advice in this thread and I'm working on it. I'm trying to be productive at work for the next two months by accepting that once I leave it's not my problem and for the next two months I'll continue to do my best since that is all I know how to do.
littlelady
God bless the USA
I totally know what you are saying. We have to find that happy place within ourselves. I used to be angry, but realized it wasn't worth it. You can't let what other people do get to you. We only have one shot on this earth as being alive. And, I decided that I'll be darned if someone will take that away from me. I have learned that from losing my parents, getting divorced by a wayward husband, watching my children grow and be on their own with trials and tribulations, and having a truly loving husband in the present. I learned to count my blessings, no matter how hard the road was to get where I am. I truly wish you the best. Don't dwell. I did a lot of dwelling. It will bring you down. Don't go there. Let it go and let it be.
Of course, I have to post some music for the subject.
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somdfunguy
not impressed
I totally know what you are saying. We have to find that happy place within ourselves. I used to be angry, but realized it wasn't worth it. You can't let what other people do get to you. We only have one shot on this earth as being alive. And, I decided that I'll be darned if someone will take that away from me. I have learned that from losing my parents, getting divorced by a wayward husband, watching my children grow and be on their own with trials and tribulations, and having a truly loving husband in the present. I learned to count my blessings, no matter how hard the road was to get where I am. I truly wish you the best. Don't dwell. I did a lot of dwelling. It will bring you down. Don't go there. Let it go and let it be.
Not to put too fine a point on it. Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet. Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
Roman
Active Member
Are you retiring BB? You could have a little fear of retiring, along with a bit of depression because of that. That's a big and scary step.
You are angry, bitter and tired because you made the mistake of putting your faith in others instead of yourself.
John Z
if you will
