In Severe Emotional Pain...

[vraiblonde]

I have been shoving this down for years.

And now the pressure has built to the breaking point.

What's done is done and you can't change the past. Where you go from here is all that counts. I think writing it all down, every last detail, is a great idea because only after you confront the past can you let it go and start to heal.

 

[craberta]

I have to write about the rape at 2 years old,, the times my sitser tried to hurt me, and suceeded, my mothers rage, my fathers disgusting habits, the friens he had whom he handed me over to., all the dirty things I had to live with, and it hurts. And I think I am going to tell her that I can't do it.

 

[Kain99]

I have to write about the rape at 2 years old,, the times my sitser tried to hurt me, and suceeded, my mothers rage, my fathers disgusting habits, the friens he had whom he handed me over to., all the dirty things I had to live with, and it hurts. And I think I am going to tell her that I can't do it.

Why??? Ya just did it! Give yourself some credit woman!

 

[craberta]

I am not going to do it. I am not going to do it.

 

[godsbutterfly]

I have to write about the rape at 2 years old,, the times my sitser tried to hurt me, and suceeded, my mothers rage, my fathers disgusting habits, the friens he had whom he handed me over to., all the dirty things I had to live with, and it hurts. And I think I am going to tell her that I can't do it.

But you just did. You did it here and you can do it again. Get it out of your system. It is ike a poison that has been inside of you for years. Now you can get it out and it never has to get back inside of your mind and life again. It has been controlling you and now you can start to control and conquer it.

 

[craberta]

No, no, I still feel guilt, and still cant. I still feel like I deserve this pain. I do. I am going to be honest with her and tell her that I can'd and that is all there is to it.

 

[Pandora]

In order to get better, you have to suffer, sometimes a great deal. If she says you have to write all this down, do it, because she knows what needs to be done for your emotional recovery.

And Kain,

Doctor Phil is great, don't get me wrong, but the book I recommended is specifically geared towards people who have physical pain due to their emotions.
It can/could/might kill ya if you don't get a hold of them.

 

[harleygirl]

I am not going to do it. I am not going to do it.

Continue working with your therapist. You cannot let the past dictate your future. Until you close the door behind you, it will never go away.

 

[meangirl]

No, no, I still feel guilt, and still cant. I still feel like I deserve this pain. I do. I am going to be honest with her and tell her that I can'd and that is all there is to it.

You should feel no guilt. Others should feel guilty for what was done to you. You deserved none of it!

 

[Kain99]

What are you so afraid of? The mess is already in your head so what's there to loose? Don't screw up now.

 

[craberta]

I am in my mis 40's, and I till have this thing haunting me. My sisters have had theyre lives ruined by this ####### father and mother of ours. Maybe it is just too late. I needed help years and years ago. This is embedded into me. At least I have a therapist, my sisters and broher don't. I am the 3rd one to get help, and I think I need memory removal therapy or surgery.

 

[BuddyLee]

The pain is from repressing your emotions. You should consider taking a day or two to yourself and having a good solid meltdown and get it out of your system. Seriously. It's not good to keep things inside because they'll just keep coming back and back.

Take it from me.

 

[godsbutterfly]

No, no, I still feel guilt, and still cant. I still feel like I deserve this pain. I do. I am going to be honest with her and tell her that I can'd and that is all there is to it.

Listen to me for a moment, okay? I have been down the road of rape and sexual molestation by a family member. You did not deserve it and you must get that out of your head right now. I don't care who it was who did it or what they might have threatened you with or promised you - the bastard lied. You've gone long enough letting them have this victory over you. Write it as a letter to your attacker. "Dear --------------. I was an innocent two year old and I trusted you. " Let your pen and paper scream and cry for you. Seriously. It needs to be done. Say everything you have never said but wanted to. Do it for you - because the HEALING is what you deserve.

 

[craberta]

Now Just My Eyes Hurt, From The Acid Tears. Going To Go Drink More And Hopefully Write Smething,then Sleep Maybe.

 

[BuddyLee]

Going To Go Drink More

Yowza! That's not helping.

 

[craberta]

i WROTE HIM A LETTER BACK IN 93, he read it I guess. He died , a slow death of lung cancer. The other people, well, one killed himself, and one died alone, and the woman she was left a widow,(yes there was a woman there that day too), and my sister who was 5 at the time, and hated me because she asscociated me wiith that awful day, she ended up homeless. She scarred up my face. I was beaten by mother alot because I "told a lie" to her aunt about it all, All I told her aunt is that I hurt here, (pointing to my private) I was only 2, but my mom smacked me on the head every chance she got. OMG, this is starting to look funny, stupid, but it really happened.

 

[Kain99]

Crab you are drunk posting right now..... Sober up and delete this shiat. Thats good advice from someone who cares.

 

[meangirl]

Crab you are drunk posting right now..... Sober up and delete this shiat. Thats good advice from someone who cares.

I agree totally. Get rid of this whole thread girl.

 

[craberta]

No, I am just posting the truth, wish I was that drunk, but it would take too long to get there. It is ok.

 

[BuddyLee]

No, I am just posting the truth, wish I was that drunk, but it would take too long to get there. It is ok.

I'd say that if you're not drunk then go for it...at least it's something written down, albeit a public forum. At this point, who cares?

If you're drunk, just delete it.