It has come to my attention...

[CTBburn]

If this is the kind of drama you have to deal with, why would you want to be with that kind of man?

Relationships are supposed to be fun and bring out the best in us - if that's not happening, something is wrong. If you're putting out all that effort, trying hard, and being pleasant and that's the kind of response you get then move on - - there are some really AWESOME men out there that will give you every bit of what you give them. You should be happy. You don't have to struggle to be happy.

 

[bcp]

- there are some really AWESOME men out there that will give you every bit of what you give them. .

Most men will give you every bit of what you give them.
if the woman acts like a total self centered princess beatch that thinks she is always right regardless, then guess how the man is going to end up treating her?
Personally for me, I just wait till I get the car up to about 80 then kick the princess out the door.
Makes me much happier and leaves little chance of the constant begging to get back together.

 

[SamSpade]

...that it is a quite common practice for men to, when they want to break if off with a woman, be as big of jerks as they can in order to get *her* to break it off with *him*. Instead of simply saying, "Look, Hilda, it's not working out and I'd like us to just be friends and not romantic partners," he'll chicken out and try to piss her off to the point she throws him out. A conscious effort.

I know that they do that. I've done it. I've done the "it's not you it's me" thing. I've done the stop calling and slowly fade away thing.

But to be honest, even if women DON'T do this, what they often do is no better.

The "I only ever slept with you to get so-and-so jealous and now we're seeing each other" one.

The "I never loved you" one, usually after many years of involvement.

The act like a ##### to make you break up with her - but it's not an act - she just doesn't like you any more and is just being herself.

The old rat you out to all her friends so that everyone you both know will hate you thing - before she dumps you.

The let you linger on a relationship that's hanging like a loose tooth - because she's bored and doesn't have anyone else lined up.

The "what have you done for me lately" thing.

And the one I like best - the BABD - the bigger and better deal. You got traded up. e.g. he makes more money than you.

..................................

And it's possible that the guy doing this really is just the girl's version of the one I mentioned earlier. He wants out, and starts acting like a jerk, because that's how he acts when he's unhappy.

 

[SamSpade]

Breaking up is hard to do. :shrug:

We all have our break up horror stories, but really the vast majority of them go fairly smoothly.

I have to disagree. There's a movie line somewhere that illustrates this.

"Why does it have to end badly?"
"It always ends badly. If it didn't, it wouldn't end".

Most of the time it DOESN'T end badly for the one who breaks it off. They get what they want.

It's like saying fistfights don't end badly. It's not so bad if you win, especially if you land the first punch with a knockout. It is if you're the one on the ground.

 

[MMDad]

Ahhh...this is so familiar. Not only has it happened to me personally, but this is a frequent subject around the girl campfire.

Even if they'd say, "You know what? I don't even like you. I don't want to be friends, in fact I hate you and wish you were dead. Get the hell off me." - that would be preferable. Because the woman always wants to try and make it better, when the fact is that she can't do anything right at that point and now he gets to paint her as some psycho stalker when it is *he* that has the honesty issues and personality disorder.

Vrai, I'm disappointed in you. You are so busy manhating that you missed the most important part:

Nope, it happens pretty much happens all the time to me.

If you have a bad breakup once or twice it's normal. If it happens "all the time" maybe the other person isn't the one at fault.....

 

[Penn]

If you have a bad breakup once or twice it's normal. If it happens "all the time" maybe the other person isn't the one at fault.....

How about those folks who have been through 3 or 4 marriages?

They can't seem to make it work out.....is there a common parallel here?

 

[SamSpade]

How about those folks who have been through 3 or 4 marriages?

They can't seem to make it work out.....is there a common parallel here?

I'm of the opinion that people can make the wrong choice once, maybe twice.

Beyond that, it seems to me that whatever is going wrong with their marriage, they are bringing a lot of it in themselves, because they're the only constant.

 

[playerhater]

Just reading this entire thread and what a mess it is LOL. I think people try to break up in a way to try and not hurt each others feelings, we all hate rejection. Sex weighs in heavy too, you don't want to let that good stuff go and someone else getting hold of it. You see that x later on and you get jealous because ole boy has it now. Or does the lady get uncomfortable when she sees you because you where all up in it before. I had to act like a jerk to get rid of someone, she new it had to end and kept pursuing. I had a lady do the 80% ignore thing to me, I got the hint.

Women today face so much pressure about how they are suppose to look like the Barbie. I got to admit some just don't give a dam eating McDs all day. Some men expect to get a barbie with bellys, some get them LOL. I guess my final thought is ladies, please us more, doesnt the bible say something about submit. OOOps did I say that.

 

[CeasarSucks]

In order to have a relationship that is successful, you need to be comfortable with yourself first... both men and women. If you NEED sex, if you NEED a partner, then you are not ready. :shrug:

If you are critical of your own behavior / appearance / attitude / heatlh / smell etc, don't b*tch because your SO is critical of the same. Duh.

If you NEED a man / women, you really need to get your sh*t straight and stop being so damned needy first. :shrug:

Once you get yourself figured out, you may find that the people you are meeting aren't such #######s. You are, after all, what you surround yourself with.