Do not be afraid of yard sale clothing. Babies grow so fast that the clothes are hardly worn. You can pick up clothing for very little cash, no one has to know that it is second hand (most people wouldn't even care). I have seen too many young mothers say "My baby isn't going to wear second hand clothes". Then they go out and buy cute outfits (think $$$ when they could have the same outfit for cents) and then the baby out grows the outfit after one or two wearings.
Just Found out!
- Thread starter Rileyc
- Start date
Agreed but what's done is done soooo are you suggesting she abort or put the child up for adoption? Or, was your statement made just to make her feel bad?
My thought is she's saying they both work 50+ hours each week and it's not cutting it so she's asking where she might be able to get some type of assistance. Why bash her and/or say things that will make her feel bad? Do you/whoever think she isn't already thinking "WHAT HAVE WE DONE? WE'RE NOT READY"
Unfortunatley, I don't have any helpful advice to give as far as financial help but it sounds like some others here do....it will work out. There's never a PERFECT time as far as finances are concerned, well not for most people anyway.
2lazy2P
nothing unreal exists
I realize this is “not only a different time, but a different world” than 30 years ago. But when my sister (three years older than me) and I were brought into this world - my parents, along with a lot of people around the country - were pretty much FLAT broke. I wore my sister’s hand me down cloth diapers. I played with all her old toys. Not to many parents you talk to that had kids in the 70's and 80's won't tell you about how broke they were - but they did what they had to do to make ends meet. Put food on the table. If all those parents decided not to have kids because money was not available to provide then it would be an empty world because a whole lot of kids would not have been born.
Katelin
one day the dark will end
I agree!!!
Another mouth to finance thru government handouts...too many kids on this planet as it is.
Get an abortion, get married, get a real job so that you and your "husband" can plan for and afford a child like most people do.
Nothing worse than bringing a kid into this world on the back of poverty.
(If you have to rely on handouts, it means you are in poverty.)
And big deal on getting knocked up. It is not a skill to brag about, just means you cant afford to use birth control or "SO" cant pick up free condoms from the health department.
2lazy2P
nothing unreal exists
Now that is what I don't agree with. Instead of coming on here proud of her bundle of joy growing in her belly and asking the questions of where can my "SO" and I find three more jobs it seemed to come out more as - "Where do I sign up for all the FREE S***!!"
dave1959
Active Member
You, your sister and more than half the worlds population were not supported by the state because you could not make ends meet.
My issue is not with them having a child, Thats great !!!! And wish them all the happiness. My issue is looking for a handout before they even try to make it on their own.
When my wife was pregnant with our third child I did not go looking for help I helped my self. I got a second job, Had a huge yard sale, sold one car and found a cheaper place to live. I made it work and never got a handout. !!!
This is the time when "Mr. SO" needs to step up and be a man.
2lazy2P
nothing unreal exists
I agree with Chasey. It is always better to go in person when asking for help.
Some things I learned with my first child that helped me save money:
-Generic wipes work just as well as name brand.
-Not all diapers are created equal. When you are trying a new type, buy smaller packages. When you find the brands you like, buy bulk.
-Diapers.com is very competitive on formula and you can buy 6 large tubs at a time.
-Vintage Values has $0.35 bins full of clothes. Sometimes the selection is limited, other times you can walk out with a 13 gallon size bag full of clothes.
-Family members whose kids have not yet reproduced tend to want to visit, and typically bring gifts. This is not always reliable but I got a lot of newborn diapers this way.
-When registering for a baby shower, don't be hesitant to ask for expensive items. At least people know you need it and that is step one in getting them to buy.
-Tell everyone you know that you are pregnant. It is amazing how many people have baby items lying around that they no longer need. I was gifted a jumper, a bouncer, a motorized swing, 2 infant car seats, 2 toddler car seats, boxes of clothes ranging from newborn to 12 months, and a tub. Those are just the items that I can remember off hand. Very important to remember to write thank you notes to these people.
Granted, the above doesn't help with housing or food, but it does help lower the initial baby investment.
2lazy2P
nothing unreal exists
No, I understand. My point being is she needs to do exactly what you posted in your previous statement. Do what they need to do to make ends meet, not sit around waiting for somebody to bring it to their door for them.
Wahhh someone talk/respond to me!
j/kOkay, I agree with you about her asking for housing help specifically....they must already live somewhere so I don't see why they can't make it work where they are. As far as food goes, ummmm Mommy can supply food for awhile naturally (hopefully anyway) but formula, should the baby need it, is expensive. I don't know, now I sorta feel bad about my comment to BadGirl
I'm pregnant myself so I'm a little emotional, hehe....I just want Ms Preggers to be happy and know it will work out somehow 
dave1959
Active Member
I am very sorry. I'm sure I took the air out of your ballon. Unfortunately the welfare/food stamps issue is one I feel very stongly about.
I do hope that your child comes int this world healthy I'm sure after al is said and done you will make wonderful parents.
lovinmaryland
Well-Known Member
JFC thats a bit harsh dont you think?
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
I was afraid this was going to get a little nasty.
I didn't get that she was looking for "free ####" but I think it is natural when you have a baby (and an oopsy, like my monster) to worry. especially if you are on shaky ground to begin with...you start counting money, and everyone tells you how expensive babies are, and you start to fear that you will never have a cent to yourself again. And you probably won't.
it may be that things seem much worse when you first get shocking news..but things have a way of working out...esp if you plan ahead and try not to freak out. living here is expensive, but there are rentals on this site that are fairly affordable. Food is very expensive, but if you shop carefully you can get by. keep looking for better jobs. I got hand me downs from friends, some nice things at my baby shower, I nurse (who can afford formula?) and I buy the store brand diapers. it can be done..and I bet it looks so much worse at the moment than it really is. you may have to go back to work sooner than 6 weeks, you may have to forgo a swing and fancy clothes, you may have to rent a small apartment and share a room with the baby, you may have to not eat out for a long time, downgrade your cell minutes, ...struggle.
but it won't seem so bad when you look at your smiley baby and know you are doing it for them
I didn't get that she was looking for "free ####" but I think it is natural when you have a baby (and an oopsy, like my monster) to worry. especially if you are on shaky ground to begin with...you start counting money, and everyone tells you how expensive babies are, and you start to fear that you will never have a cent to yourself again. And you probably won't.
it may be that things seem much worse when you first get shocking news..but things have a way of working out...esp if you plan ahead and try not to freak out. living here is expensive, but there are rentals on this site that are fairly affordable. Food is very expensive, but if you shop carefully you can get by. keep looking for better jobs. I got hand me downs from friends, some nice things at my baby shower, I nurse (who can afford formula?) and I buy the store brand diapers. it can be done..and I bet it looks so much worse at the moment than it really is. you may have to go back to work sooner than 6 weeks, you may have to forgo a swing and fancy clothes, you may have to rent a small apartment and share a room with the baby, you may have to not eat out for a long time, downgrade your cell minutes, ...struggle. but it won't seem so bad when you look at your smiley baby and know you are doing it for them
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
I can only speak for myself, but having my daughter at 18 helped me to get where I am today. It was hard and often I struggled, but I know for a fact I would have taken a different approach on life w/out her.
BadGirl
I am so very blessed
Now you are taking my words out of context, and you know it.
Many people have children when they are ill-prepared for them, and they (both the parents and the children) turn out beautifully for the most part. I have examples in my own family where this has been proven. I've also been witness to how difficult it is for them to get by with minimal finances and their ability to better themselves.
When I said: "How is having a baby going to IMPROVE her situation?", that was in relation to her current financial situation, and her ability or inability to care for it (the baby).
Asking for help in locating housing and food assistance is a pretty darn clear indicator to me that she is having difficulty hanging on to the fundamentals of her day to day living. When you can't afford to provide a safe place for your child to live or to put diapers on your child, then you have some serious problems to overcome.
Wahhh someone talk/respond to me!
Okay, I agree with you about her asking for housing help specifically....they must already live somewhere so I don't see why they can't make it work where they are. As far as food goes, ummmm Mommy can supply food for awhile naturally (hopefully anyway) but formula, should the baby need it, is expensive. I don't know, now I sorta feel bad about my comment to BadGirl
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tennispro12
New Member
So have S.O. work 70 hours instead of 50, he has a responsibility now and so do you. There is always a way if there is a will. Don't rely on government or handouts. Just sayin.
B
BET
Guest
I'm sorry that you are going through this ordeal. The following link may help you in getting assistance in making any of those tough descisions:
Health Services - Waldorf, MD - Planned Parenthood - Waldorf Health Center
They can provide assistance in the following areas:
Waldorf Health Center offers the following pregnancy related services:
- pregnancy testing
- abortion referrals
- adoption services
- adoption referrals
- trained staff to discuss your options with you if you are pregnant
- during all business hours on a walk-in basis
Roman
Active Member
In 1973, at the age of 18, and still in High School..I got pregnant. My Son is now 38 years old, and I am SO happy that I decided to have him. Life was rough, my Husband worked so many hours that I couldn't even tell you with all honesty..how many he worked. We ate Macaroni, with Tuna, and lived in Subsidized Housing for a year. I worked also, and went back to work 10 days after having our Child. Looking back on all of this, makes me feel for anyone who is in this situation. It's scarey enough to be pregnant for 9 months, having to wonder if you are eating right, and doing the right thing. As stated earlier..it all works out in the end, and if anything..it makes you really appreciate the things you have, and the sacrifices that you made to have this Child. She played, and she's now paying, and I for one, am happy to hear that she is not choosing Abortion...which in MY opinion..is the easy way out. Hang in there!!