lets share helpful hints with one another.
- Thread starter bcp
- Start date
BadGirl
I am so very blessed
I'll teach you and Morgie how to do this.kwillia said:I have a girlfriend that knows how to wrap a cloth napkin so that it likes exactly like a penis. I will see if I can teach this to as that art would have come quite in handy at the brunch... you could have left that waitress lots and lots of folded napkins all around the place...
StanleyRugg
New Member
Wooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeee I been busy but I aint never too busy to learn stuff. Momma Rugg always says "The day ya quit learnin is the day they slam the lid on ya."
With the drought goin on and all the garden didn't go too good so I took a job with a carnival outfit travelin around Pencilvania and Ohio and over into Indiana. Did you know that Indiana grows the most popcorn in the whole country? I also found that if you are messin with a red ruby laser you can pop a kernel of corn in just a second or two. It aint real practicle cause who has the time to pop it one kernel at a time but it sure is fun.
When I was over in Indiana I looked for that nice old man from the TV who sole popcorn Orville Redenbacher. I never did find him but I found a mess of folks who looked a lot like him. Kinda homely, not like the attractive people here in South Maryland.
I didn't much like workin in the travelin carnival business cause those people are not very upstandin. They cuss a lot and don't eat vegtables, only meat. I think it makes them more ornery cause of bowel problems. Momma Rugg always said eat plenty of vegtables and it will keep you regular. I am thinkin those carny (that's what they call themselfs) people must be all jammed up on candy and meat cause they are sure ornery. They use fowl language all the time, drink liquor and even fight. Momma says drinkin liquor is like puting Satan right in your mouth and inviting him in your brain. One night 2 little people, )thats what the midgets like to be called cause calling them midgets makes them mad, got in a fight and one midget bit the other ones ear lobe clean off. It made him so mad he grabbed a hand full of those darts ya throw at baloons to win prizes and flung them at the other midget that bit him and stuck 4 of them right in his bootocks. Luckily the boss man came and broke it up afore someone got hurt real bad.
I was in charge of dippin apples in the carmel stuff. It come in big blocks and you have to put it in this big pot to melt way before the carnival opens so it will melt in time. At first it was real nice job because I like carmel but I got a little carried away and now I don't so much. I moved over and ran the big boat lookin thing that swings back and forth for a few weeks but I didn't like that much ether cause I forgot that little kids should always did on the other side away from the controls and I got throwed up on a bunch of times.
About the worst part was when the woman who ran the hammer game where you bang on a stump with a big hammer and ring the bell got kinda sweet on me. It started out innocent enough but it got uncomfortable real quick. She liked to fight and she had big arms on account of her hitting that stump and demostrating the game all day. We was horsin around and she put me in a head lock and near about popped my head. I told her I was a scientist and my brain was important to my profession and I couldn't let it get hurt but she kept doin it. Finally I told her I didn't have any romantic leanings to her and I was saving my virtue for my life love when she got really riled and chased me with that big ole hammer trying to bean me with it. One of the midgets tried to help me and grabbed her leg and she tossed him right smack dab in the vat of melted carmel. Finally some guys got her and calmed her down but that poor midget was in serious trouble. at first it was kinda funny until that carmel started to get firmed up. Lou the midget looked like a little brown statue and couldn't move. One of the truck drivers sprinkled chopped up peanuts on Lou and said "Look a dwarf carmel apple" which touched off Lou and he got mad and split out of that carmel suit like the Hulk David Banner split outa his clothes on TV.
I am glad to be home, there is no place like Southern Maryland.
With the drought goin on and all the garden didn't go too good so I took a job with a carnival outfit travelin around Pencilvania and Ohio and over into Indiana. Did you know that Indiana grows the most popcorn in the whole country? I also found that if you are messin with a red ruby laser you can pop a kernel of corn in just a second or two. It aint real practicle cause who has the time to pop it one kernel at a time but it sure is fun.
When I was over in Indiana I looked for that nice old man from the TV who sole popcorn Orville Redenbacher. I never did find him but I found a mess of folks who looked a lot like him. Kinda homely, not like the attractive people here in South Maryland.
I didn't much like workin in the travelin carnival business cause those people are not very upstandin. They cuss a lot and don't eat vegtables, only meat. I think it makes them more ornery cause of bowel problems. Momma Rugg always said eat plenty of vegtables and it will keep you regular. I am thinkin those carny (that's what they call themselfs) people must be all jammed up on candy and meat cause they are sure ornery. They use fowl language all the time, drink liquor and even fight. Momma says drinkin liquor is like puting Satan right in your mouth and inviting him in your brain. One night 2 little people, )thats what the midgets like to be called cause calling them midgets makes them mad, got in a fight and one midget bit the other ones ear lobe clean off. It made him so mad he grabbed a hand full of those darts ya throw at baloons to win prizes and flung them at the other midget that bit him and stuck 4 of them right in his bootocks. Luckily the boss man came and broke it up afore someone got hurt real bad.
I was in charge of dippin apples in the carmel stuff. It come in big blocks and you have to put it in this big pot to melt way before the carnival opens so it will melt in time. At first it was real nice job because I like carmel but I got a little carried away and now I don't so much. I moved over and ran the big boat lookin thing that swings back and forth for a few weeks but I didn't like that much ether cause I forgot that little kids should always did on the other side away from the controls and I got throwed up on a bunch of times.
About the worst part was when the woman who ran the hammer game where you bang on a stump with a big hammer and ring the bell got kinda sweet on me. It started out innocent enough but it got uncomfortable real quick. She liked to fight and she had big arms on account of her hitting that stump and demostrating the game all day. We was horsin around and she put me in a head lock and near about popped my head. I told her I was a scientist and my brain was important to my profession and I couldn't let it get hurt but she kept doin it. Finally I told her I didn't have any romantic leanings to her and I was saving my virtue for my life love when she got really riled and chased me with that big ole hammer trying to bean me with it. One of the midgets tried to help me and grabbed her leg and she tossed him right smack dab in the vat of melted carmel. Finally some guys got her and calmed her down but that poor midget was in serious trouble. at first it was kinda funny until that carmel started to get firmed up. Lou the midget looked like a little brown statue and couldn't move. One of the truck drivers sprinkled chopped up peanuts on Lou and said "Look a dwarf carmel apple" which touched off Lou and he got mad and split out of that carmel suit like the Hulk David Banner split outa his clothes on TV.
I am glad to be home, there is no place like Southern Maryland.
They also take umbrage at being called Barney Fife
Yep, I found that out the hard way. I told him I was just kidding, but he didnt find the humor in it!
onebdzee
off the shelf
They also take umbrage at being called Barney Fife
they also don't like it when you catch them staring at your ass....they actually take offense to the fact that you caught them and said "could you do something besides stand in here and watch woman walking away while your car is out there running"
Chainsaw Slayer
New Member
Always lick your hands for good luck when you leave Roses Place.
hammishsqueak
We're all mad here.
Never pee on an electric fence. My one friend's buddy in Montana decided to do that when he was drunk. The worst thing is that he did it again about a year later.
onebdzee
off the shelf
that was on Myth busters....it doesn't work
well, unless your friend was a girl and she sat on the fence while peeing or they fell on it and kept peeing
hammishsqueak
We're all mad here.
that was on Myth busters....it doesn't work
well, unless your friend was a girl and she sat on the fence while peeing or they fell on it and kept peeing
Not quite sure what happened as I heard it second hand, but I think that he actually zapped his
by touching it to the fence while he did his business.
Chainsaw Slayer
New Member
that was on Myth busters....it doesn't work
well, unless your friend was a girl and she sat on the fence while peeing or they fell on it and kept peeing
the thing on myth busters was just to prove that you couldn't die from peing on an electrified rail. I think you can still get shocked by peeing on an electric fence.
theArtistFormerlyKnownAs
Well-Known Member
Not if the only thing to touch it is the urine. If nothing else, the water molecules don't stay together enough to allow a current to flow up them, but i believe the salt and whatnot in the urine accounted for the lack of being electricuted too...but i can't remember as it was awhile ago i saw that lol
onebdzee
off the shelf
theArtistFormerlyKnownAs
Well-Known Member
You saw the same episode, didn't cha?
yeah, i'll pretty much watch Mythbusters if i ever see it on because it is interesting television and ACTUALLY educational lol. I found it hilarious today when i caught the middle of a conversation of people walking by and i knew that they were talking about Mythbusters without them even mentioning it. (intersting show to watch after throwing back a few drinks too...just fyi
)