My understanding of "moving out on your own" is that you do not live with your parents and you make enough money to support yourself. Is that not the definition anymore?
Living with Parents at 27
- Thread starter Bay_Kat
- Start date
homedepot20
Well-Known Member
Sad to say , My Wifes' brother still lives at home at age 65 . But he is worthless, lazy, and a burden on society .
desertrat
0_0
I still live at home too. I want to move in with Vrai because she cooks.
kwillia
n/a
A young adult joining the military is moving into Uncle Sam's house... he/she isn't in a position to have to put a roof over his head, pay utilities, vehicle payment/fuel/insurance, food and other sorts all on a starting salary pay check... not at all the same.
I don't consider a young woman jumping into a relationship and shacking up as making it on her own because all she does is leave being a dependent of her parents to being a dependent of a man.... I thought that was what your daughter did, but my memory must have been wrong.
Yep, if your daughter found a co-op situation and actually paid her way then of course that counts as starting out on her own.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
My daughter is just shy of 16. I bought her an SUV about a month ago. I will gladly pay for college and all of her expenses if she pursues a degree that has the potential to earn her money. If she doesn't want to go to college, she'll be expected to pay rent, and will be expected to be on her own -- but it won't be right away. I understand she won't be able to afford anything right after graduation and I'm okay with that. I don't think she's the type that will stay home forever.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
Yep, sounds right to me. Even if you go off and join the military, you are still on your own. Mommy and Daddy are not covering your expenses.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
If both parties are paying their fair share of the housing expenses, I'd consider that being "on your own."
But will the family choose them? Our twins were out of the house by 22 - graduated from college in four years (on time) and holding mundane jobs - 5th grade teacher and Navy Ensign.
It does take a little desire and determination. Up to then, mom and dad were not their friends - just mom and dad. Now we are both.
So when do you intend to go out on your own and stop being a dependent of some man? I mean, you're 40+ now - isn't it time?
You're being pretty insulting not only to young people who join the military, but to any young person who has to have a roommate in order to make ends meet. I'd think you would be applauding people doing what it takes to be independent.
For the record, my daughter didn't "shack up" until she was about to give birth to the guy's child (she was 22), and that was only at the insistence of both sets of parents and the guy himself. They married when their son was a year old. And even then, she paid at least half of all expenses, and was not "dependent" on him in any capacity.
My son was 22 when he got out of the military, which paid him for a job he did and housed him when he was in Korea and Iraq. Once he got out, at 22 mind you, he started his career, got married, bought a house. Since he was married and had a wife making good money, does that not count as "on his own" either?
kwillia
n/a
That is all I'm saying....but I think it takes longer to get to the point of being able to afford to move out now than when it did when we did it. And BTW the job market sucks so bad that even if they get a job it doesn't mean they keep it.. then what... they boomerang back home.
And, yes, Vrai, a person joining the military is successfully moving out on their own, but I don't consider that the same situation because they are being cared for by the military and won't be boomeranging back. This thread is about young adult children not being able to afford to move out as young as we did.
Hank
my war
Good Luck. She`s too worried about the next big rain storm floodin out back. Sawry, it was kinda funny.
Does the basement count, Lance? Do you have your own entrance?
kwillia
n/a
My opinions aren't meant to be insulting. I have a 20 year old and a soon to be 18 year old. This is something I think about often.
I believe you are twisting my words. Someone out and starting a family of their own is not what I'm talking about and you know it.
I'm curious where this is coming from. Young people move out of their parents' home every single day, most are not joining the military and many are not off to college. They get a job and a pack of roommates, and off they go.
It's not that times are any tougher these days than when I moved out (a couple weeks after I turned 18, hallelujah!), it's that kids have a sweet deal at home with a nice house, TVs, gaming systems, food, laundry taken care of, etc, etc. They can't maintain that standard of living on their own dime, so they don't. They don't want to make the trade-off in order to have their own place without Mom and Dad hanging around.
And then there are the families where having the adult child living at home works for everyone. I've never heard DR complain about having his son still living at home, and my understanding is that mAlice and hubby enjoy having Gurl home as well. There's no burning desire on either part for kid to move out.
Whatever works.
Hank
my war
^This
I haven't seen either of your kids in years but, unless they've changed dramatically from the paths they were on, I think they'll be just fine and fully functioning. So don't worry - they'll be out of there soon.
kwillia
n/a
I haven't seen either of your kids in years but, unless they've changed dramatically from the paths they were on, I think they'll be just fine and fully functioning. So don't worry - they'll be out of there soon.
They are both on good paths... I guess to put it in perspective... my 20 year old left high school and went out of state to tech school successfully completing his program. He came back home... landed a job and just hit his 1 year of experience with that job. He just hit the 1 year experience mark and they love him... but he still can't afford to move out.
When he does move out I sure as hell don't expect him to have to live in a drug and scum infested neighborhood so that is why I'm thinking he will be moving out at an older age than whe me or my bro or sis did... none of which did college or the military... we fled the nest solely on work the way up the ladder jobs.
Well, he's only 20. Not even old enough to legally buy a beer yet. Plenty of time.
And he could afford to move out, he'd just have to put up with roommates and a lowered standard of living. Ramen noodles and drunks next door. We all did it, we all lived through it. I've never heard of a 20 year old being able to afford a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Usually you have to work awhile for that, not get it right out of the gate.
kwillia
n/a
I was out of my parents home by 19 so I am already feeling out of sorts by him being home at the age of 20...
I was out of my parents home by 19 so I am already feeling out of sorts by him being home at the age of 20...
But did you move into your own house in a nice neighborhood with no roommates?
I think you're right that kids move out later in life than we did, but that's our fault, not theirs. We want them to have what we have right now, without them having to struggle on the way up. Son didn't really struggle (unless you count that getting shot at in Iraq thing), but daughter has and it's painful to watch. She's doing great now but watching her stumble and fall, pick herself back up, stumble, pick up, lather, rinse, repeat, was almost unbearable. Like watching them learn to walk and go down the slide without assistance. The urge to protect them is overwhelming.
Ugh. I'm getting an ulcer just remembering it and I am oh so glad it's over with.
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