Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet

Pete

Repete
vraiblonde said:
This is where the hover method comes into play because I am NOT wiping stranger pee off some toilet. AND I do not want to get it on my behind.
Luckily in the mens room there are several thrones to scope out to find an acceptable one. If they are all trashed you move along. :yay:

HTF do women sprinkle? :confused: Unless they are "hovering" too high and lose their balance errant spraying should not be a problem. :confused:
 

Vince

......
Should have changed the title of this thread to "How to take a Crap in three easy lessons."
 

BS Gal

Voted Nicest in 08
canuk woman said:
pssst. Canuk, this thread is just for people over 18. And don't act like you didn't see the warning when you first clicked on it. I don't want you to get in trouble.
 

dustin

UAIOE
ever think about those loose rolls of TP that you use? When you stick your fingers in the inside of that roll its probably likely you just put your finger on someone else's errant poo... who had picked up the roll the same way as you just did.

WASH YOUR HANDS PEOPLE!
 

Pete

Repete
dustin said:
ever think about those loose rolls of TP that you use? When you stick your fingers in the inside of that roll its probably likely you just put your finger on someone else's errant poo... who had picked up the roll the same way as you just did.

WASH YOUR HANDS PEOPLE!
:killingme: The dreaded "poke through" :killingme
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
dustin said:
ever think about those loose rolls of TP that you use? When you stick your fingers in the inside of that roll its probably likely you just put your finger on someone else's errant poo... who had picked up the roll the same way as you just did.
Ideally people don't crap on their hands, then reach for the toilet paper.
 

dustin

UAIOE
vraiblonde said:
Ideally people don't crap on their hands, then reach for the toilet paper.
Ideally...

...then you have the old people, kids, drunks, and text messengers who aren't paying attention when wiping

Go ahead and chance it if you want to germy wormy
 

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
Pete said:
HTF do women sprinkle? :confused: Unless they are "hovering" too high and lose their balance errant spraying should not be a problem. :confused:

Well...

When hovering, if you don't quite get your backside low enough or back far enough, there is the pesky off-center splatter that will occur when you don't quite hit the toilet opening dead center. I have noticed a direct correlation between diminished hovering skills and the consumption of Goose. This can be particularly troublesome as the splatter can be off-center enough to dampen the back of your garments. There can be an occasional stray stream that will make it onto the pants leg as well. Now to further complicate things, you have to hide the evidence of your inability to carry out the pefect hover. The requires wiping of the toilet seat and then we are back to the problem of not wanting to touch the seat. As you can see, hovering is very complicated and not without risk.
 

Pete

Repete
cattitude said:
Well...

When hovering, if you don't quite get your backside low enough or back far enough, there is the pesky off-center splatter that will occur when you don't quite hit the toilet opening dead center. I have noticed a direct correlation between diminished hovering skills and the consumption of Goose. This can be particularly troublesome as the splatter can be off-center enough to dampen the back of your garments. There can be an occasional stray stream that will make it onto the pants leg as well. Now to further complicate things, you have to hide the evidence of your inability to carry out the pefect hover. The requires wiping of the toilet seat and then we are back to the problem of not wanting to touch the seat. As you can see, hovering is very complicated and not without risk.
All the more reason to give stock to Penn and Teller and just plant that ass firmly on the seat.
 

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
Pete said:
All the more reason to give stock to Penn and Teller and just plant that ass firmly on the seat.

5 Geese and I say eff it, and sit. Well sorta lean back and more like fall but it all works out. :biggrin:
 

Agee

Well-Known Member
cattitude said:
Well...

When hovering, if you don't quite get your backside low enough or back far enough, there is the pesky off-center splatter that will occur when you don't quite hit the toilet opening dead center. I have noticed a direct correlation between diminished hovering skills and the consumption of Goose. This can be particularly troublesome as the splatter can be off-center enough to dampen the back of your garments. There can be an occasional stray stream that will make it onto the pants leg as well. Now to further complicate things, you have to hide the evidence of your inability to carry out the pefect hover. The requires wiping of the toilet seat and then we are back to the problem of not wanting to touch the seat. As you can see, hovering is very complicated and not without risk.
So you have a BS Degree in Hoverology :nerd:
 
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