BTW, that did not say anything about your personal life...
Marriage counseling<does it work>
- Thread starter Aristakat02
- Start date
BTW, that did not say anything about your personal life...
Whatever you say Tom, now run along.
Do better...when your trying to demean someone you think is lesser..BTW..I don't have cable...are the Vikings winning?
My TV doesn't get sports. :shrug:
Good night Pan and "Chesty" Puller where ever you are.
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There you have it.
If she isn't into it, then forget it because it will just be a waste of money.
I still think it is worth a try. I remember the 14th year of marriage and frankly, I could have put a pillow over his face and not felt on bit bad about it.
I'm kidding of course, but both of us were done and were reluctant to grasp a hold of any hope of working things out.
Counseling is worth a try, anything is, because I think the alternative sucks. But then again, we both agreed the alternative sucked.
I'm kidding of course, but both of us were done and were reluctant to grasp a hold of any hope of working things out.
Counseling is worth a try, anything is, because I think the alternative sucks. But then again, we both agreed the alternative sucked.
Personally, I think I have the perfect situation and can't believe it took me so long to make it happen.
And there you have it. Both have to buy into it, be willing to go AND be committed to make the changes necessary. If that doesn't happen, it's just a waste of time and money.
People say I have the perfect situation because I'm married to somebody who is never home, and always late (as I look at my watch and worry) but would I want somebody home at the same time I am? Ahhh, no, I don't think I could handle that at all. But there was a time his absence (due to his job) really bugged me. I guess to each their own. Some say familiarity breads contempt and others say it increases fondness.
USWWarrior
It's a Jeep thang!
Gotta agree with this. IMHO, if she doesnt really want the counseling, then you must look at the alternative.
I went to 3 different counselors with the ex. Each time, she was the one that backed off even though she always selected the doctor. On the third one, I kept going to the counselor to learn how to deal with "the alternative".
2 years later, I am stress free, happy, single and have custody of my child. So the alternative is not the WORSE thing that can happen.
Bottom line, you need to sit down with her and find out where she really is on the "getting help" and the marriage. If she says she is willing to go get help, then hold her to it, with no excuses. If she is waffling about the help, then she may be thinking the marriage is over and just afraid to say it.
As always my humbled opinion is offered free of charge....
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Aristakat02
i will never tell
thanks
Thanks for everyones imput going to try counseling see where it goes from there. she says she want it to work so only time will tell
Thanks for everyones imput going to try counseling see where it goes from there. she says she want it to work so only time will tell
I don't know what your beliefs are regarding God, but, if you are interested, Chesapeake Christian Counseling has a rate that is less based on your ability to pay. Their counselors are all licensed. They do not cram God down your throat. My husband and I went there during a Midlife crisis...is this all there is...cycle and we saw a counselor named Robert Jones. He had a way of helping you find your own failure...just in the questions he would ask. They are in Huntingtown.
Having made it through that time together has made us so THANKFUL for the future we have. So very glad we didn't bail out, however attractive it seemed.
USWWarrior
It's a Jeep thang!
Congrats to the both of you. It is good to see the BOTH of you wanted it.
Merry Christmas!
It's good that you are both willing to try a marriage counselor instead of just ignoring problems that may exist - so at least you’re making the attempt. Everybody is going to have different views on counseling on whether it's worth it or not. It's really based on the individual and how much effort each one of you is willing to put into it. It's important to have a good counselor, but you have to be willing to talk about the good/bad parts about yourself, your relationship, etc. so that the counselor can identify where the problems exist and know what type of information to offer so the negative areas improve.
If a person goes into counseling w/a negative attitude that it's not going work, not willing to accept advice given, and not willing to try to work on making changes then they not looking to help themselves and/or their marriage. So they are basically wasting their time/money and the counselor's time and efforts. One of the main goals of marriage counseling is getting the couple to communicate with each other by teaching them how to take the time to talk to each and by not always yelling or passing blame on each other for their faults, etc. For counseling to be effective you have to be willing to take/try the advice that the counselor offers you.
Good luck
godsbutterfly
Free to Fly
Safe Harbor Christian Counseling also offers a pay plan based on your income. They have offices in St. Mary's County and I believe Charles County. They don't push the religious aspect either. If you need or want any further info. please PM me. No matter what you decide to do best of luck to you both and I will keep you in prayer.
latinamomma
Transam's wife
I know my hunny and I tried it awhile back, I think it did more harm than good. But when we went, we both wanted to be right and the other to be wrong. It didn't work the way we had wanted. There were too many issues then. Now,years later, we are giving it our all....making it work as a team and partners in all that we do. I wish you the best of luck.
Dodgem250
New Member
Probably not. Don't these counselors make you pay some outrageous, recurring, fee to try to make you stayed married, when you probably should not have been in the first place?
Hey if they can make you keep coming back... they stay in bidness right?
You know, it's like AIDS and Cancer, there is probably 1000 cures out there, but, who'd be making money if no one had a terminal illness? Sad ain't it?
Hey if they can make you keep coming back... they stay in bidness right?
You know, it's like AIDS and Cancer, there is probably 1000 cures out there, but, who'd be making money if no one had a terminal illness? Sad ain't it?