Monday Morning
- Thread starter Kyle
- Start date
i looked and looked, Can't prove it. 
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Try being entirely honest for a week. That's a fine way to develop a clear conscience. Personally, I prefer my method, though -- a poor memory.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Your plans for a do-it-yourself replica medieval catapult will arrive today! Soon, your neighbors will become nervous (but you can explain that their fears are groundless -- you couldn't possibly hit anything that close with it).
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Hide.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Beware of lightning, today! Either stay indoors, or leave your aluminum foil hat behind. (I know, I know. It's hard. But I've learned to live without mine, most of the time.)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Those spiders are growing larger around your house, and it's becoming more of a challenge to escape. You may want to consider acquiring a flame thrower. (Hint: illicit nuclear dump nearby.)
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will feel an odd compulsion to stack books, symmetrically, in the public library. Try to resist it.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
While attempting to stifle a yawn today, you will accidentally make a loud "smooching" sound. Try bringing out your pager, and saying "these new models sure have some interesting sound options, don't they?" I find that works well with several other forms of involuntary noises, as well.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will wake up in somebody else's body. The strangest thing about the transition will be that you'll have all the memories from the new body, and none of your own from before. Despite that, you will be somehow quite certain that you've "traded down."
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will invent a cool machine that will automatically make over 800 different varieties of coffee drinks. Unfortunately, everyone will go back to drinking just plain coffee.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Don't go out today, without a spatula. I can't say more.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
It's time for you to consider being kinder to your feet. And stop taking them for granted! For example, when's the last time you sat down and had a nice friendly chat with them? Do it today!
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
This might be a good time to refer to your roommate as "Watson" and say things like "The game's afoot!." Eventually, you'll be able to reconstruct an entire evening's events from a spilled drop of raspberry vinaigrette.
AC/DC
Lord, I apologize.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Customize your actions to the very unique situations you'll meet today. One way of being doesn't work universally! Treat everyone you meet as an individual, not as part of a large group.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Exciting career and financial developments are in store. You have strengths that are not being currently utilized on the job. Find ways to incorporate more of your skills. Surprised colleagues warm up to you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your imagination is activated by originality and sense of fun -- so surround yourself with other air signs (Libra and Aquarius). Volunteer for something you believe in, and life begins anew.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). No use trying to convince someone who can't be convinced. Instead, target people who are already open to your unique ideas. You can pick and choose your company, so do it!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You get attention -- so much attention, in fact, that it could make you feel self-conscious. Resist the urge to deflect the attention or put yourself down in jest. Practice being comfortable with admiration.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The eyes are on you this morning. Tell yourself you're not nervous, just excited! Someone's tardiness points to passive aggressive tendencies. Read the signs now, and set expectations accordingly.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You're attracting new friends. Before you decide to make someone your bosom buddy, check out their other pals for more character information. A moneymaking project involves Taurus.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You'll be making a presentation of some kind, trying to influence at least two other people to join your effort or take your side. If you have a date tonight, keep it brief. Leave 'em wanting more.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Address efficiency issues. What would happen if you simply threw away that endless to-do list that absorbs your time and decided to start fresh? Take only the most important actions.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Exercise helps you operate from your highest and best thinking. You stand to make a great deal of cash. Focus your thinking and creative energy on designing a self-perpetuating moneymaking system.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You've cleared the first hurdle to healing a relationship. Now keep it light, establish trust, and make the relationship fun. Add to a collection. You'll find incredible deals on the Internet.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The temptation to spend more than you've got is strong. But you'll never regret living below your means. Only then will you have something left over to take advantage of investment opportunities!
TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (April 4). Your focus is shrewd this year, and your confidence rises to help you meet the demands you make on yourself. Target new career goals now, and you are able to nail them in the next three months. Let Capricorn or Aquarius guide you in financial matters for fast results. Marriage in January. Best signs for new love are Taurus or Scorpio. Your lucky numbers are: 29, 4, 53, 28 and 25.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Exciting career and financial developments are in store. You have strengths that are not being currently utilized on the job. Find ways to incorporate more of your skills. Surprised colleagues warm up to you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your imagination is activated by originality and sense of fun -- so surround yourself with other air signs (Libra and Aquarius). Volunteer for something you believe in, and life begins anew.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). No use trying to convince someone who can't be convinced. Instead, target people who are already open to your unique ideas. You can pick and choose your company, so do it!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You get attention -- so much attention, in fact, that it could make you feel self-conscious. Resist the urge to deflect the attention or put yourself down in jest. Practice being comfortable with admiration.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The eyes are on you this morning. Tell yourself you're not nervous, just excited! Someone's tardiness points to passive aggressive tendencies. Read the signs now, and set expectations accordingly.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You're attracting new friends. Before you decide to make someone your bosom buddy, check out their other pals for more character information. A moneymaking project involves Taurus.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You'll be making a presentation of some kind, trying to influence at least two other people to join your effort or take your side. If you have a date tonight, keep it brief. Leave 'em wanting more.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Address efficiency issues. What would happen if you simply threw away that endless to-do list that absorbs your time and decided to start fresh? Take only the most important actions.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Exercise helps you operate from your highest and best thinking. You stand to make a great deal of cash. Focus your thinking and creative energy on designing a self-perpetuating moneymaking system.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You've cleared the first hurdle to healing a relationship. Now keep it light, establish trust, and make the relationship fun. Add to a collection. You'll find incredible deals on the Internet.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The temptation to spend more than you've got is strong. But you'll never regret living below your means. Only then will you have something left over to take advantage of investment opportunities!
TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (April 4). Your focus is shrewd this year, and your confidence rises to help you meet the demands you make on yourself. Target new career goals now, and you are able to nail them in the next three months. Let Capricorn or Aquarius guide you in financial matters for fast results. Marriage in January. Best signs for new love are Taurus or Scorpio. Your lucky numbers are: 29, 4, 53, 28 and 25.
dreamland
New Member
Good Morning!
I'm having a terrible morning! On my way to work this morning I kept thinking if I turned off my curling iron, so I figure that I would turn around and see if I did. Then I remembered that my house key is no longer on my key chain. It's sitting on the kitchen table. I took it off yesterday to give to the boyfriend to get in the house and never put it back on. The spare key is with my mother, who is in Nags Head, NC.
Can someone shed some light to my day?
I'm having a terrible morning! On my way to work this morning I kept thinking if I turned off my curling iron, so I figure that I would turn around and see if I did. Then I remembered that my house key is no longer on my key chain. It's sitting on the kitchen table. I took it off yesterday to give to the boyfriend to get in the house and never put it back on. The spare key is with my mother, who is in Nags Head, NC.
Can someone shed some light to my day?
Stang Girl
Mr. and Mrs.!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love youdreamland said:
)
kwillia
n/a
I'm really weirded out that I feel so good this morning... could be because the sky is so blue and the birds are chirping so cheerfully... maybe it's because this is the start of another week, a week in which who knows what is in store. You gotta love a bright and sunny Monday.<img src="http://www.boomspeed.com/carolrobert/sunshine.gif">
S
Sassygirl
Guest
morganj614 said:I have felt ill this weekend, off and on.
I did feel a little better after the rain on Saturday. I've been stuffy since last thrusday. Yesterday my tummy was upset. All is good this morning, hope everyone has a great day!
Take a toke, hold the smoke...kwillia said:I'm really weirded out that I feel so good this morning... could be because the sky is so blue and the birds are chirping so cheerfully... maybe it's because this is the start of another week, a week in which who knows what is in store. You gotta love a bright and sunny Monday.
K
khuseman
Guest
Good Morning! Hopefully you all will have a great Monday!
workin hard
Icebox
dreamland said:
It will be alright. Nothing a good fatty lunch won't solve. Plus your curling iron may have automatic shut off. Most do...
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
Shut up.kwillia said: