Mothers owning up to having a favourite child

frozenrain

frozenrain

New Member
Very tough topic.All children want to be is loved and reassured that there is no favouritism.

Why some mothers really DO have a favourite child | Mail Online

I can not speak for all mums but I love mine all the same.Even when their behaviour is different at times.
I know children do worry about this; if they believe their parents show more love to a sibling...

For example my daughter who is 5 amazed me this weekend reading a book by herself to me out loud with long words and sentences. I exclaimed my delight to her as even though we always read together it seemed such a big jump. I was gobsmacked :lmao: Any how my 9 year old son was listening in the hall way and he came up and said' mummy I could read at that age...' So an example how they do worry about being viewed as good as the other sibling.

What do you guys think.Anyone been treated differently as a sibling?Of course I do not expect anyone to get too personal as this is a public forum but any general views would be good.
 
T

toppick08

Guest
frozenrain said:
Very tough topic.All children want to be is loved and reassured that there is no favouritism.

Why some mothers really DO have a favourite child | Mail Online

I can not speak for all mums but I love mine all the same.Even when their behaviour is different at times.
I know children do worry about this; if they believe their parents show more love to a sibling...

For example my daughter who is 5 amazed me this weekend reading a book by herself to me out loud with long words and sentences. I exclaimed my delight to her as even though we always read together it seemed such a big jump. I was gobsmacked :lmao: Any how my 9 year old son was listening in the hall way and he came up and said' mummy I could read at that age...' So an example how they do worry about being viewed as good as the other sibling.

What do you guys think.Anyone been treated differently as a sibling?Of course I do not expect anyone to get too personal as this is a public forum but any general views would be good.
Click to expand...

I'm a momma's boy.....:biggrin:

:blushing:
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Kids...

...get and should be treated differently because they are different.

There are things I love individually in my two bio units and my two step kids that are unique and special to them and there are things that each has that I have had problems with over the years.

Of course there is 'favorite' child and that's normal. It may change day to day, hour by hour. The thing to do, in my view, is simply recognize it and work the problem instead of making more problems by denying it or feeling like a bad parent.

Good lord, they're born with their personalities.
 
Nickel

Nickel

curiouser and curiouser
My parents treat(ed) my brothers and me differently because we're all very different people.
 
R

RaspberryBeret

Protected By Trunk Monkey
I love my kids all the same and each has their own unique things that make them special and/or talented. I try to make sure they receive equal praise when deserved. The two boys tend to try and compete and the girl just relishes on being the only princess.
 
onebdzee

onebdzee

off the shelf
Larry Gude said:
...get and should be treated differently because they are different.

There are things I love individually in my two bio units and my two step kids that are unique and special to them and there are things that each has that I have had problems with over the years.

Of course there is 'favorite' child and that's normal. It may change day to day, hour by hour. The thing to do, in my view, is simply recognize it and work the problem instead of making more problems by denying it or feeling like a bad parent.

Good lord, they're born with their personalities.
Click to expand...

:yeahthat:

I don't have a favorite....I love each and everyone of them in different ways
 
frozenrain

frozenrain

New Member
Larry Gude said:
...get and should be treated differently because they are different.

There are things I love individually in my two bio units and my two step kids that are unique and special to them and there are things that each has that I have had problems with over the years.

Of course there is 'favorite' child and that's normal. It may change day to day, hour by hour. The thing to do, in my view, is simply recognize it and work the problem instead of making more problems by denying it or feeling like a bad parent.

Good lord, they're born with their personalities.
Click to expand...


I understand that. However my overall maternal love is the same for all.
I guess behaviorally I have been quite lucky SO FAR with them all . If my son did something wrong I would discipline him but not ignore him and put my daughter on a pedal stall. Otherwise it becomes a self-full filling prophecy.. They feel that they are the rotten apple amongst the good ones.
I must admit I felt my older sister got on with my mum much more than I did...
 
frozenrain

frozenrain

New Member
toppick08 said:
yes, a younger sister......but Mom and her talk everyday......:rolleyes:.

Once a week with my mother is enough.....she asks too many questions...:lmao:
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That is lovely. To speak every day but once a week is enough too. That shows your love for each other.
Some speak once a month or less and that is enough:lmao:


Me I want a granny flat in my childrens garden when they get older:lmao:
 
redneck_woman

redneck_woman

Starting Over
I deal with a lot of comparison with mine....My oldest is 13 and the youngest is 7. Because of the age difference I expect more out of my oldest, than my youngest and the dicipline is handle different also. Monkey see, monkey do. The oldest is always comparing well how come B got in trouble for the same thing and he didn't have to do so and so. DRIVES ME CRAZY!! I remind him that at his brothers age he was treated the same way. I also get you love him more than you love me crap also.
 
frozenrain

frozenrain

New Member
Also interesting in the article was the bit that said that some mums find it hard to bond with the oldest because how traumatic the first birth is and what a shock to the system it is....


However I hear many mums having mixed feelings about second pregnancies.They worry they could not love another baby the same and worry because their love for the first is so overwhelming.However as soon as they give birth they realize that they love them all the same and as much...
 
T

toppick08

Guest
frozenrain said:
That is lovely. To speak every day but once a week is enough too. That shows your love for each other.
Some speak once a month or less and that is enough:lmao:


Me I want a granny flat in my childrens garden when they get older:lmao:
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She will be here in the middle of Oct........we have a great time together, and I love her dearly, but after a 2 week stay..............it will be time..:lmao:

She treats me like a king, so I can't say anything bad...
 
frozenrain

frozenrain

New Member
redneck_woman said:
I deal with a lot of comparison with mine....My oldest is 13 and the youngest is 7. Because of the age difference I expect more out of my oldest, than my youngest and the dicipline is handle different also. Monkey see, monkey do. The oldest is always comparing well how come B got in trouble for the same thing and he didn't have to do so and so. DRIVES ME CRAZY!! I remind him that at his brothers age he was treated the same way. I also get you love him more than you love me crap also.
Click to expand...

Yes very true.Children find it hard to understand age differences and see it as being treated unfairly in cases.
Very good point. Six years is not a lot in difference when you are adults but when you are children it is HUGE. My older sister is 5 years older and it seemed a huge age difference when we were children....
Yes at times I have had to explain to my son that they were treated the same way at the same age. I can totally relate to you.
 
frozenrain

frozenrain

New Member
toppick08 said:
She will be here in the middle of Oct........we have a great time together, and I love her dearly, but after a 2 week stay..............it will be time..:lmao:

She treats me like a king, so I can't say anything bad...
Click to expand...

You sound like a lovely son. I think people feel that about most people visiting. Sometimes you need your own privacy to relax and stuff.
Whereabouts does your mum live?.Nice time to come.I enjoyed last Autumn here .However I am an Autumn person .
I am so silly I am getting excited about the corn maze:lmao:
 
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