My teen step daughter was not prejudiced...

[n0n1m0us3]

From what I've read from you.. I don't dare reply but well, I am feeling bold.

1. There are truly some racist people, but no not everywhere. The OP has a valid concern as it is more prevelant in areas such as Somd that lack cultural diversity. (compared to places like Montgomery County)
2. Statement reflects that you're an idiot.
3. It's known that a kid's peers are a GIANT influence on their behavior, especially in their early teen years. I am glad the OP can see that there is a problem creeping up and I am sure he/she will address it.

Disclaimer: You just may be the retard of the family.

 

[Mdbtyhtr]

I would just wonder what made her feel that talking like that would be acceptable in your home? Kids can be very cruel, regardless of race. Your daughter may perceive the wealthier kids as more desirable to emulate and she is going down the wrong path there. It is amazing to me that some of these kids think that they are wealthy and better then others because their parents might have some spare change.

I am so glad mine are grown and gone!

Scott

 

[FED_UP]

...until we moved to Calvert County from Charles. Since then, she makes the "watermelon and fried chicken" jokes, she says that "all black women look mean," she says that "all the blacks in her school are related," she dislikes Hispanic people (who she refers to all as "Mexicans"). This is definitely not how she acted when we lived in Charles County. She had many friends of many races in Charles County, and paid no mind to what race or cultural background they were from. I have not heard her use racial epithets, but her friends use them regularly from what I understand. Her mother is definitely not like this. She must be getting it from her friends. Many of her friends and their parents admit they dislike blacks due to their experiences that they claim have caused them to leave other counties. Does anyone else witness this prejudiced behaviour in Calvert? It seems like it is more prevalent in Calvert than in Charles. I can't speak for St. Mary's.

Sounds like peer pressure too me, young teens are very vulnerable at that young age and want to fit in with what is happening around them. Unfortunately she wants to run with the popular crowd who think they are above most other kids. Also did you talk to that girls parents that said racist remarks in your car?

 

[FED_UP]

non sequiter award.

You said your children have been called ######## by other adults occasionally, what did you do about it? I don't condone violence but when an adults is attacking my innocent childrent with hate words, they might get a little retaliation.

 

[Vince]

Please explain --Who or what is "Lance" ? A spear, a medical tool, a brand of crackers, or a certain person I'm not familiar with ?

look in Chit Chat ........ I am the Edge I Control It

Don't bother, Lance doesn't write in English so you won't understand it anyway.

 

[annemayer]

So, you are one of those that makes it a point to say, "Some of my best friends are black"?

No,I usually say "My child is black".

 

[annemayer]

From what I've read from you.. I don't dare reply but well, I am feeling bold.

1. There are truly some racist people, but no not everywhere. The OP has a valid concern as it is more prevelant in areas such as Somd that lack cultural diversity. (compared to places like Montgomery County)
2. Statement reflects that you're an idiot.
3. It's known that a kid's peers are a GIANT influence on their behavior, especially in their early teen years. I am glad the OP can see that there is a problem creeping up and I am sure he/she will address it.

Disclaimer: You just may be the retard of the family.

1.There are racist people but not everywhere-where is this land of non-racism? This pocket of equality? I have never heard of an area where no one is or can be racist! Did you take a poll?
2.That statement was called a joke. Mixed with a bit of truth. Some people are so scared of appearing racist,they cannot take one,because in their PC,liberal mind,any sort of social observation or joke is considered a no-no,and to be reported to the ACLU or NAACP at once. If so many whites didn't like Nascar,and most weren't redneck types,it wouldn't be funny. Refer to Bill Engvall,Jeff Foxworthy-they think it is funny too. If so many black people didn't do so many things alike,same deal-see Richard Pryor,Chris Rock,Bernie Mac. You need a dose of reality which can only come from actually leaving PC whitey world and seeing racism for what it is,something that is sad,cruel,and to not be tolerated,but to also open your mind enough to realize not everyone takes themselves or life so seriously that they get their panties in a bunch over a joke. What those kids were saying to the OP's child is wrong,and hateful. What I said was kidding. Some people get it,some don't. And by the way,how would I know what Black Friday looked like unless I was there? I was in white trash ghetto heaven with my former sister-in-law,who is named T'Lia. Take a wild guess as to the race.
3.Kids peers are an influence. Parents are an influence. One is supposed to outweigh the other by virtue of good parenting.
Am I the retard of the family?Maybe. Of the forums? Doubtful.

 

[annemayer]

By the way,I'm not going to sit around and go back and forth about this,it's pointless,but I wanted to share a story about Montgomery County since one of you pointed out how diverse it is,and not as bad here. I was 17,out with my then boyfriend,father of my oldest child. Sitting in a parking lot,digging around the car for a map,I'm climbing over the seat,he is sitting there next to me. Cop pulls up,and immediately after asking if all was well,has him step out and tells him to take 50 steps. Then leans in and asks me if I was being attacked. Not to mention how many times we were pulled over for having too dark of window tint,just to check to see if I was ok,etc. If I got a ticket,he got his ID pulled before mine,and wasn't even driving. Racism is EVERYWHERE,I stand behind that 100%,even in Montgomery County,for all it's "diversity". And when I make a joke,or a comment on a racial issue,it is based on the experience of being the target of it,which is why I felt comfortable contributing to the thread. Sometimes white people cannot laugh at a joke or make an observation because they are scared of their true colors showing - jut a thought.

 

[FED_UP]

By the way,I'm not going to sit around and go back and forth about this,it's pointless,but I wanted to share a story about Montgomery County since one of you pointed out how diverse it is,and not as bad here. I was 17,out with my then boyfriend,father of my oldest child. Sitting in a parking lot,digging around the car for a map,I'm climbing over the seat,he is sitting there next to me. Cop pulls up,and immediately after asking if all was well,has him step out and tells him to take 50 steps. Then leans in and asks me if I was being attacked. Not to mention how many times we were pulled over for having too dark of window tint,just to check to see if I was ok,etc. If I got a ticket,he got his ID pulled before mine,and wasn't even driving. Racism is EVERYWHERE,I stand behind that 100%,even in Montgomery County,for all it's "diversity". And when I make a joke,or a comment on a racial issue,it is based on the experience of being the target of it,which is why I felt comfortable contributing to the thread. Sometimes white people cannot laugh at a joke or make an observation because they are scared of their true colors showing - jut a thought.[/QUOTE

I agree, a lot of fakers out there hiding the true color, smiling in your face and calling you *$&^@#% in their mind at the same time. You surely were racially profiled at that incident at 17, well the boyfriend was for that matter. OP has an issue to deal with, how would I handle it. Me and the child would have a serious talk and that so called friend would not be associating w/her anymore would be the start. Make her azz stand on a curb with a sign saying I am a racist would be a start also.

 

[MMDad]

By the way,I'm not going to sit around and go back and forth about this.

Yes you will.

By the way, a diverse family doesn't justify spewing hate.

And hiding behind the joke excuse isn't fooling anyone.

 

[Baja28]

Yes you will.

By the way, a diverse family doesn't justify spewing hate.

And hiding behind the joke excuse isn't fooling anyone.

You actually read that pile of mess she called a post?

 

[awpitt]

...until we moved to Calvert County from Charles. Since then, she makes the "watermelon and fried chicken" jokes, she says that "all black women look mean," she says that "all the blacks in her school are related," she dislikes Hispanic people (who she refers to all as "Mexicans"). This is definitely not how she acted when we lived in Charles County. She had many friends of many races in Charles County, and paid no mind to what race or cultural background they were from. I have not heard her use racial epithets, but her friends use them regularly from what I understand. Her mother is definitely not like this. She must be getting it from her friends. Many of her friends and their parents admit they dislike blacks due to their experiences that they claim have caused them to leave other counties. Does anyone else witness this prejudiced behaviour in Calvert? It seems like it is more prevalent in Calvert than in Charles. I can't speak for St. Mary's.

If your daughter is truely non-prejudiced, it shouldn't matter where she lives.



.

 

[TurboK9]

Does nobody yet get, that to eradicate racism, you have to end the distinction between races? And that goes for supposed 'non-racists' as well?

Saying "I have black friends" or "I have a hispanic cousin" or "I married a Chinese girl" is in fact, no less racist than saying n***er, spic, chink.... If you are using someone's race for ANY reason, regardless of your intent, you are guilty of racism. In fact, you're worse, because you are using their race to try to make yourself a martyr, to support your own flawed self-righteous indignation.

The sooner people stop identifying others by race, or identifying themselves by race, the sooner it goes away.

Problem? I don't see that happening.

But then, IMHO, awareness of race and race issues is not necessarily a bad thing. Picking up on, and 'alerting' to, race characteristics is instinctive. It's a survival mechanism that goes back tens of thousands of years, and can still be of value today. :shrug:

 

[pumpkin0824]

JW....why did you write out spic and chink and not ######, when they all are racist terms????

Does nobody yet get, that to eradicate racism, you have to end the distinction between races? And that goes for supposed 'non-racists' as well?

Saying "I have black friends" or "I have a hispanic cousin" or "I married a Chinese girl" is in fact, no less racist than saying n***er, spic, chink.... If you are using someone's race for ANY reason, regardless of your intent, you are guilty of racism. In fact, you're worse, because you are using their race to try to make yourself a martyr, to support your own flawed self-righteous indignation.

The sooner people stop identifying others by race, or identifying themselves by race, the sooner it goes away.

Problem? I don't see that happening.

But then, IMHO, awareness of race and race issues is not necessarily a bad thing. Picking up on, and 'alerting' to, race characteristics is instinctive. It's a survival mechanism that goes back tens of thousands of years, and can still be of value today. :shrug:

 

[TurboK9]

JW....why did you write out spic and chink and not ######, when they all are racist terms????

######? That's why.

 

[yknotpoms]

The sooner people stop identifying others by race, or identifying themselves by race, the sooner it goes away.

Problem? I don't see that happening.

I have a horrible time discribing people don't know why I just do....Many times people have said to me can you at least tell me if they were black, white, asian, hispanic....etc...I have had to say no many times. I am proud of that.

I grew up with older parents and a grandmother that was Racist, she was horrible and all the bad terms for people were often heard. I don't know how my parents managed to keep me from being that way. Yes, I get the occasional kick out of a racist joke.

I have one friend that tried as she might slipped one day and said something about Walmart and all the White Trash. I died laughing and told her to take her butt back to her fancy Target (french accent). We had a good laugh and she told me she was afraid I would be offended. That is when I said you think I am white trash? Should have seen her back peddle until I broke into laughter again.

We all say things we shouldn't if it is a accident it is generally easy to tell, if it is frustration it is easy to tell, if it is normal you will see it over time and you can avoid those people. At least that is my way of dealing with it, your action should speak for you not how you look.

 

[TurboK9]

your action should speak for you not how you look.

Ideally. The problem here is that reality shows that the actions of others speak just as loudly. This is why race can make your hackles go up when someone of a different race approaches on a quiet street at night, etc.

It isn't racism when that happens, because it is not concious. If you act on it beyond becoming a little more alert, however, you are starting to cross the line.

Racism crosses all boundaries, and is embedded in all races... it isn't a 'white' thing, and in fact, it isn't uncommon for one to be racist about their own race. :shrug:

 

[vraiblonde]

Saying "I have black friends" or "I have a hispanic cousin" or "I married a Chinese girl" is in fact, no less racist than saying n***er, spic, chink....

Oh bull. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging racial or ethnic characteristics - it's like saying someone has blonde hair, or brown eyes, or is tall, or is male. The problem comes from people who don't get out much and want to dislike someone based solely on their race, or attribute a behavior to a whole ethnic group across the board.

We're wired to be wary of difference. It's a leftover from our caveman days when someone who wasn't part of our tribe was a potential threat. And ALL races do it, not just whites.

But it still shocks me when someone comes out with a racial slur in casual conversation. It's like going to someone's house and having to use an outhouse because they don't have indoor plumbing - AND they think that's perfectly normal because they're ignorant and haven't caught up with the rest of the world.

 

[yknotpoms]

it isn't uncommon for one to be racist about their own race. :shrug:

I was very surprised to find this out years ago talking with a friend. It saddened me greatly.

The phrase "don't judge a book by isn't cover" is great, but it is human nature to react on what you see based on individual experiences. It is part of the whole nature vs nurture process.

 

[TurboK9]

Oh bull. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging racial or ethnic characteristics - it's like saying someone has blonde hair, or brown eyes, or is tall, or is male. The problem comes from people who don't get out much and want to dislike someone based solely on their race, or attribute a behavior to a whole ethnic group across the board.

We're wired to be wary of difference. It's a leftover from our caveman days when someone who wasn't part of our tribe was a potential threat. And ALL races do it, not just whites.

But it still shocks me when someone comes out with a racial slur in casual conversation. It's like going to someone's house and having to use an outhouse because they don't have indoor plumbing - AND they think that's perfectly normal because they're ignorant and haven't caught up with the rest of the world.

I think that first bit depends on whether or not you are using race to make a point. If you say "I'm married to a black man" to let people know his skin is dark brown when they try to locate him in the restaraunt, that is one thing. If you say "I'm married to a black man" to make a point concerning race, that you are focusing on the concept of race, emphasizing his difference from the 'norm', expecting people to react based on race, and thus being racist.

You don't think it matters whether a 'slur' is simply a part of their common vernacular? For some people, an ethnic slur may be no different in their mind from you saying 'black'. In fact, to some, 'black' is considered a slur, they prefer 'African American'. :shrug:

But anyway, yeah, that was kind of my point. Instinct. We can't ever be completely rid of it because racism is more felt and percieved than it is executed. IE I do do or say something to one person of a different race, and they may percieve no racism, then do or say the same to another of the same race, and they may liken the same act or words to burning a cross on the front lawn. :shrug:

If I am beaten and robbed by a group of people who happen to belong to 'x' race, and from that point on, my hackles go up when in certain situations involving 'x' race, does that make one racist? Of course not. It's not a concious reaction. Of course, this leads to 'profiling' which, according to our PCness, is racist... is it? Or is it a survival reflex?