My teen step daughter was not prejudiced...

[Choklatjunkeee]

It sound like your teen is trying to fit into a new crowd that unfortunately is not of the same ilk as her previous set of friends. If it were me, I would video her using this type of language (racial commentary). Then after a day or so I would play it back for her and let her see how she looks and sounds. Then I would ask her if she would be comfortable if her previous friends saw this behavior from her? Ask her what has changed about her? I am not suggesting you post it on the net, just give her a chance to reflect on her behavior. Hopefully she will evntually see her new friends for what they are, and go back to being herself. JMHO

...until we moved to Calvert County from Charles. Since then, she makes the "watermelon and fried chicken" jokes, she says that "all black women look mean," she says that "all the blacks in her school are related," she dislikes Hispanic people (who she refers to all as "Mexicans"). This is definitely not how she acted when we lived in Charles County. She had many friends of many races in Charles County, and paid no mind to what race or cultural background they were from. I have not heard her use racial epithets, but her friends use them regularly from what I understand. Her mother is definitely not like this. She must be getting it from her friends. Many of her friends and their parents admit they dislike blacks due to their experiences that they claim have caused them to leave other counties. Does anyone else witness this prejudiced behaviour in Calvert? It seems like it is more prevalent in Calvert than in Charles. I can't speak for St. Mary's.

 

[SoccerMom2]

Ignorance is ignorance. My son came home from school one day and asked me what a cracker was. I said it's somethign you eat. He said you eat me? I looked at him and laugh. I asked him why would i eat you? He then said the kids at school called me a cracker. I was so pissed. I told him when they called him a cracker just say bite me! By the way my son was only 3 years old.At this age you know they got it from their parents. At the end of the year when they had there little party i brought crackers and cheese....lol!

 

[chernmax]

We've taught our daughter to only discriminate against disrespectful, potty mouth, lawbreaking, condescending a$$holes regardless of color!

 

[n0n1m0us3]

You said your children have been called ######## by other adults occasionally, what did you do about it? I don't condone violence but when an adults is attacking my innocent childrent with hate words, they might get a little retaliation.

If I react with violence to people who call my child a name I'm just as big a jackass as those people. I tell my child that people can say whatever the hell they want, and that it doesn't really matter what someone says about them. They aren't to associate with people like that but I'm not going to chase down the town douchebags and beat them up because they called my child a ######...I'd be outnumbered to begin with.

 

[FED_UP]

Ignorance is ignorance. My son came home from school one day and asked me what a cracker was. I said it's somethign you eat. He said you eat me? I looked at him and laugh. I asked him why would i eat you? He then said the kids at school called me a cracker. I was so pissed. I told him when they called him a cracker just say bite me! By the way my son was only 3 years old.At this age you know they got it from their parents. At the end of the year when they had there little party i brought crackers and cheese....lol!

Wow at three, no way at that age can you explain to him about ignorant people. And I would not say its was the parents of the other kid, could have gotten it from older sis, uncle Jim, baby sitter, tv etc. And another problem today is babies having babies; no parenting skills.

By the way its winter time now, are you putting your balls up?

 

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by slowlane
Please explain --Who or what is "Lance" ? (a) A spear, (b) a medical tool, (c)a brand of crackers, (d) or a certain person I'm not familiar with ?

u`d b sprized what a/o how Lance can tipe, ya just hafta pay mor klosur tintion.
Readin corprehinshun is a muust. ya need 2 b abel 2 smile 1st. bunch of y`all have zero clue bout that.

slowlane U 4got (e) ^ all of the above.

There, caught a Lance-spoor before she had a chance to delete it. Now, those who don't know Lance, this is what she posts as knowledgeable discourse.

 

[CalvertNewbie]

Sounds like peer pressure too me, young teens are very vulnerable at that young age and want to fit in with what is happening around them. Unfortunately she wants to run with the popular crowd who think they are above most other kids. Also did you talk to that girls parents that said racist remarks in your car?

That's right. Yes, good values and morals start at home but anyone who thinks young kids won't also be influenced by their peers has their head in the sand. Sounds like the OP is handling the situation well by letting his daughter know that ignorance won't be tolerated around him and is unacceptable.

If your daughter is truely non-prejudiced, it shouldn't matter where she lives.





.

That is true. I'm not sure how old the daughter is but it's interesting that she's acting racist now when she used to have friends of all races. My son will be raised, like I was, to treat people according to how they act. Punks, trash and thugs come in all skin tones. Stay away from trash. I hope to never hear stupidity coming out of his mouth.

Ignorance is ignorance. My son came home from school one day and asked me what a cracker was. I said it's somethign you eat. He said you eat me? I looked at him and laugh. I asked him why would i eat you? He then said the kids at school called me a cracker. I was so pissed. I told him when they called him a cracker just say bite me! By the way my son was only 3 years old.At this age you know they got it from their parents. At the end of the year when they had there little party i brought crackers and cheese....lol!

That's so ridiculous and ignorant. 3 years old? Parenting at it's best, huh?

 

[Toxick]

stop uzin those $20 wurds pleez, gtg4n bizzy.

"Knowledgeable discourse" qualifies as $20 wurds now?



Question: How often do you have to syphon the drool out of your keyboard to prevent short-circuits.



BTW: "Short-circuit" is the $20 fancy-pants way of saying: "typey thing break. don't wurk no more."

 

[smilin]

St. Mary's is as pure as the wind driven snow....
My very lily white pale skinned red heads go to: GASP Great Mills HS.
This is an example of parenting: If either of them came home calling anybody racial slurs they would deal with me first. I don't care what their friends
call others, this is an example of what you just don't do. I won't tolerate it. GMHS, believe it or not, is one of the best places in SoMD to get an education in racism.
Tolerance of others happens every day. I see it when the kids come out after school. I see it during sporting events on and off the field. I see it in the hallways.
How does this happen? Simple, racial BS is just not tolerated.

Racism is a learned trait taught and tolerated at home. Then encouraged by peers.

 

[Toxick]

hitech automated computer generated responses. way ^ abuv yr level.

Pfft... Yeah. Ok.

 

[TurboK9]

St. Mary's is as pure as the wind driven snow....
My very lily white pale skinned red heads go to: GASP Great Mills HS.
This is an example of parenting: If either of them came home calling anybody racial slurs they would deal with me first. I don't care what their friends
call others, this is an example of what you just don't do. I won't tolerate it. GMHS, believe it or not, is one of the best places in SoMD to get an education in racism.
Tolerance of others happens every day. I see it when the kids come out after school. I see it during sporting events on and off the field. I see it in the hallways.
How does this happen? Simple, racial BS is just not tolerated.

Racism is a learned trait taught and tolerated at home. Then encouraged by peers.

 

[n0n1m0us3]

There, caught a Lance-spoor before she had a chance to delete it. Now, those who don't know Lance, this is what she posts as knowledgeable discourse.

Lance cracks me up

 

[poster]

My step daughter's friend was talking about people in the car with my wife, and told her, "I'm sorry, I hate boons." My wife told her not to talk like that around her. Oddly enough, this girl's dad has a criminal record a mile long, and her dad runs around on his wife with his wife knowing about it. Many would call that "white trash"...I don't see how that would be any better than whatever a "boon" is.

Uhh, I have to stop you right here.
I did not read the whole thread so forgive me if this has already been brought up.

Why do you allow your daughter to hang with these people.
You are who you hang with, is pretty on target.
Perhaps some guidance on her choice of friends are in order.
Granted the kids don't always follow the footsteps of their parents but considering the comment, sounds like she hasn't fallen far from the tree.

 

[vince77]

...until we moved to Calvert County from Charles. Since then, she makes the "watermelon and fried chicken" jokes, she says that "all black women look mean," she says that "all the blacks in her school are related," she dislikes Hispanic people (who she refers to all as "Mexicans"). This is definitely not how she acted when we lived in Charles County. She had many friends of many races in Charles County, and paid no mind to what race or cultural background they were from. I have not heard her use racial epithets, but her friends use them regularly from what I understand. Her mother is definitely not like this. She must be getting it from her friends. Many of her friends and their parents admit they dislike blacks due to their experiences that they claim have caused them to leave other counties. Does anyone else witness this prejudiced behaviour in Calvert? It seems like it is more prevalent in Calvert than in Charles. I can't speak for St. Mary's.

Your kid sounds like someone who let others choose her as a friend instead of choosing her own when you moved. Happens......good luck and don't blame the County...

 

[libertytyranny]

I think jokes about race are the best way to combat racism. :shrug: The joke about the million man march and a nascar race cracked me up. Most of my friends of different races appreciate that I don't tiptoe around them or try to "ignore" the fact that they come from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds..because i may hurt their precious feelings. My friends are realer, and cooler than that. i don't use nasty names, because they are hurtful and just not funny..but I have NO problem laughing my ass off when my roomate who was asian couldn't make rice. It was funny. We laughed. And no one calls anyone cracker anymore. Thats dumb. in high school my race was pointed out to me on several occasions. In general..it was the word "white" in front of some other name (ie white #####, raggedy white #####, etc etc). I didn't do it back, because frankly I am more clever than that and I can find a lot funnier things to make fun of then someone's race. like the time I told a chick who pushed me in the hall and called me a white ##### like it was my fault, that perhaps she was blind if she couldn't see me glowing in the flourescent light, and that's probably why she choose to wear orange and purple like they go together. People laughed and she said whatever white #####..and I won. Easy enough.

basically if my child said something so ignorant and I would hope she wouldn't because she should know I dont like that..but if she did..I would simply make her go to lunch with me and one of my friends from another race. Ignorant people should feel guilty when confronted with someone who doesn't fit their stereotype. Then I would ask her to repeat what she said to me.

 

[FED_UP]

I think jokes about race are the best way to combat racism. :shrug: The joke about the million man march and a nascar race cracked me up. Most of my friends of different races appreciate that I don't tiptoe around them or try to "ignore" the fact that they come from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds..because i may hurt their precious feelings. My friends are realer, and cooler than that. i don't use nasty names, because they are hurtful and just not funny..but I have NO problem laughing my ass off when my roomate who was asian couldn't make rice. It was funny. We laughed. And no one calls anyone cracker anymore. Thats dumb. in high school my race was pointed out to me on several occasions. In general..it was the word "white" in front of some other name (ie white #####, raggedy white #####, etc etc). I didn't do it back, because frankly I am more clever than that and I can find a lot funnier things to make fun of then someone's race. like the time I told a chick who pushed me in the hall and called me a white ##### like it was my fault, that perhaps she was blind if she couldn't see me glowing in the flourescent light, and that's probably why she choose to wear orange and purple like they go together. People laughed and she said whatever white #####..and I won. Easy enough.

basically if my child said something so ignorant and I would hope she wouldn't because she should know I dont like that..but if she did..I would simply make her go to lunch with me and one of my friends from another race. Ignorant people should feel guilty when confronted with someone who doesn't fit their stereotype. Then I would ask her to repeat what she said to me.

What is that word you keep blanking out #####? It was nice you made fun of her, good smart come back.

 

[SoccerMom2]

St. Mary's is as pure as the wind driven snow....
My very lily white pale skinned red heads go to: GASP Great Mills HS.
This is an example of parenting: If either of them came home calling anybody racial slurs they would deal with me first. I don't care what their friends
call others, this is an example of what you just don't do. I won't tolerate it. GMHS, believe it or not, is one of the best places in SoMD to get an education in racism.
Tolerance of others happens every day. I see it when the kids come out after school. I see it during sporting events on and off the field. I see it in the hallways.
How does this happen? Simple, racial BS is just not tolerated.

Racism is a learned trait taught and tolerated at home. Then encouraged by peers.

I am glad i am not alone. I have 2 little redheads myself. I am a redhead too and steal deal with crap. I did dye my hair brown so maybe it wont happena s much...lol!

 

[MMDad]

Well, the past couple of months she has stopped hanging around with many of her "friends." One of them (age 14) got busted for repeatedly sneaking out of the house late at night with boys; another one of them had parents that had no problem with her going out at 2am with a carload of boys and girls (she was 14); she says all teenage boys and most teen girls in Calvert smoke pot, including an 11-year-old sibling of one of the above mentioned. I think she is learning that the friends she has remaining are here real friends and those that dropped her are not.

I'd bet that the kid is pushing limits in order to get a reaction from you. If you react, she'll keep it up. That isn't to say ignore it, but be careful that you are actually trying to fix the problem behind the behavior instead of the symptom of the behavior.

 

[nomoney]

Just to reinforce your point about generalizations, with your sudden disclosure that you are white and have a 1/2 black child from what amounts to a "baby daddy," I must admit that I suddenly picture you as being overweight, speaking with a dialect, wearing very big earrings, and possibly being on some kind of public assistance or possibly working for the government. I'm just being honest about my generalizations to show how deep-rooted they are and how difficult they are to get rid of, and am not trying to cast insults.

I'm thinking it may not be your new location thats making your step daughter prejudiced.

 

[FED_UP]

Just to reinforce your point about generalizations, with your sudden disclosure that you are white and have a 1/2 black child from what amounts to a "baby daddy," I must admit that I suddenly picture you as being overweight, speaking with a dialect, wearing very big earrings, and possibly being on some kind of public assistance or possibly working for the government. I'm just being honest about my generalizations to show how deep-rooted they are and how difficult they are to get rid of, and am not trying to cast insults.