Need Advice on Relocating Away from SOMD

[Otter]

Originally posted by Chasey_Lane
If you're over the W.W. bridge by (the very latest) 6:15 a.m. it isn't bad. However, if you get stuck anytime after, be prepared for a loooong commute. The bridge starts backing up in the afternoons around Noon, and if you get stuck around 4 p.m. or later, you might as well stay at work until 8 p.m. or so.

Pssst, Chasey, they are talking bout the Solomons bridge

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by SamSpade
]I've done both - I commuted to DC from Lusby from 1995-2001. Then for two years, I had a job in Lexington Park. Now, I'm in Hollywood, taking the bus to DC.

I was unhappy, largely, in Lusby. Having to spend nearly three hours out of every day just DRIVING to work meant almost no social life. Doing things with people AFTER work, and keeping up with things in DC made it very difficult. I finally decided one of two things - move closer to work, or get another job.

I'm looking to do the opposite, commute from the DC area to Lexington Park. I've had to drive from here to DC during rush hour, and I couldn't handle that every day. My assumption is that traffic going from the DC area to Lexington Park won't be that bad, as long as I don't need to take 495.

It's just a question of where you choose to build your social life. Honestly, I still thought of myself as a transplanted soul, 50 miles from my life and my friends and in a sort of friendship 'exile'. I never really tried very hard to make friends down here. Yeah "I *tried*", but when I first came to Maryland, I didn't know a SOUL, and I busted my azz to make it happen.

It can work, but you've gotta find what works for you. I think if you continue to search for a social life closer to DC, you WILL miss out on making friends here. It's a perspective kind of thing.

The thing is I am not searching for a social life close to DC. I have a social life close to DC and Baltimore, and I am not willing to give that up.

 

[SamSpade]

Originally posted by terp03

The thing is I am not searching for a social life close to DC. I have a social life close to DC and Baltimore, and I am not willing to give that up.

You missed my point, however.

If you're finding that keeping your social life up towards DC and Baltimore is strained because of the distance, it means you're NOT bothering to build one *here*. Believe me, I KNOW this, I lived it for years. I had friends up the road, and I tried like hell to keep in touch with them, and it was hard to continue to be a part of them, because there was just no way I could live 50-60 miles away and still be a part of things. They'd go out to a bar spontaneously, making a few calls. I needed at least two hour's "lead" time to make it. It SUCKED. THAT is why I had to make a choice. KEEP my social life in DC, and move closer, or make a new one down here. For six years I had the attitude that "I'm not FROM here, I just live here".

I don't think reversing the commute is going to help much. You won't get much out of most weeknights, unless your friends actually live IN Bowie, or Upper Marlboro or Waldorf. That's because you'll be getting up before dawn and getting home after dark. You'll spend an hour and a half just driving HOME, if you're lucky and weather permits. You'll fill your gas tank twice a week.

I wish you well. Good luck. It seems to me your BEST solution is to make friends near home. I'd love to be in your shoes, living in Hollywood and driving 15 minutes to work. I'd love to get 3-4 hours each DAY of my life back. But that's the way it is.

 

[aps45819]

Originally posted by terp03
I currently live in Wildewood and work near Gate 1. I love my job, but I am not happy living here (due to lack of night life and distance from girlfriend).

Look in your pants and if you see some nuts tell your GF to move down here with you.

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by SamSpade
You missed my point, however.

If you're finding that keeping your social life up towards DC and Baltimore is strained because of the distance, it means you're NOT bothering to build one *here*.

Correct, I am not trying to build a social life here. I feel this is not an area I want to remain in. As I posted earlier, I plan on transferring back to the DC area in another year or two.

Believe me, I KNOW this, I lived it for years. I had friends up the road, and I tried like hell to keep in touch with them, and it was hard to continue to be a part of them, because there was just no way I could live 50-60 miles away and still be a part of things. They'd go out to a bar spontaneously, making a few calls. I needed at least two hour's "lead" time to make it. It SUCKED. THAT is why I had to make a choice.

KEEP my social life in DC, and move closer, or make a new one down here. For six years I had the attitude that "I'm not FROM here, I just live here".

My choice is to keep my social life in DC. I have been close with my friends there for at least 5 years. My girlfriend is also in that area. I am not willing to give all of that up.

I don't think reversing the commute is going to help much. You won't get much out of most weeknights, unless your friends actually live IN Bowie, or Upper Marlboro or Waldorf. That's because you'll be getting up before dawn and getting home after dark. You'll spend an hour and a half just driving HOME, if you're lucky and weather permits. You'll fill your gas tank twice a week.

My logic is I will at least have the option to go see them on the weeknights. I'm not trying to go out every night of the week. It would be nice to be able to watch games with my friends, or get out when I want to. Plus it will give me the ability to see my girlfriend more than just on the weekends. As I stated before, there is a good possibility I could work from home, so I might not need to commute 5 days a week.

I wish you well. Good luck. It seems to me your BEST solution is to make friends near home. I'd love to be in your shoes, living in Hollywood and driving 15 minutes to work. I'd love to get 3-4 hours each DAY of my life back. But that's the way it is.

I would love to continue to have such a short commute. But whats the point of having those extra 3-4 hours if I won't be happy?

 

[terp03]

Re: Re: Need Advice on Relocating Away from SOMD

Originally posted by aps45819
Look in your pants and if you see some nuts tell your GF to move down here with you.

You're way out of line here. You know absolutely nothing about our relationship or her circumstances. However, you do not need to know any of these things to understand why this is a completely worthless comment.

Why would I ask someone to completely change their life and move to a place that I am not only unhappy living in, but I don't want to stay at?

Well, maybe if you actually read the thread, you would have figured this out for yourself. She is not the only reason I want to move close to DC. As I stated before, my friends live near there, I want to be close to shopping and restaurants. In addition, DC has a great night life.

Last time I checked, I had the balls to try moving to an area where I knew absolutely no one, and put the effort into maintaining a solid relationship with my girlfriend and close buddies.

I came here knowing that if I didn't like it, I could simply leave. It turns out I love my job but hate living here. I am just trying to balance the equation.

 

[SamSpade]

Originally posted by terp03

My logic is I will at least have the option to go see them on the weeknights. I'm not trying to go out every night of the week. It would be nice to be able to watch games with my friends, or get out when I want to. Plus it will give me the ability to see my girlfriend more than just on the weekends. As I stated before, there is a good possibility I could work from home, so I might not need to commute 5 days a week.

That was my rationale too when I was making the trip and trying to do things here. But the long commute has other consequences.

For one - to make it to work by 7, I had to leave no later than 5:30. This meant getting up no later than 5, and usually, 4:30. If you go in much later, you get MORE traffic each way. Since I wanted that 10th day off, I worked compressed schedule, plus it saves on a day's worth of gas. That means leaving work no later than 4:30, putting me home no sooner than 6. Usually, somewhat exhausted. My girlfriend, thankfully, lived nearby. I'd wash up, grab a bite and drive over, but I couldn't stay as late as 11. Why? The damned commute again. I'm getting up at 4:30, and I don't want less than 5 hours sleep.

More and more, that compressed schedule day off looked pretty good.

It really wasn't much fun, but I loved my gf, who is now my lovely wife, and we worked it out. If I'd wanted to do much else I think I'd have croaked.

You don't know how blessed you are to live close to your job. But if you MUST be with your friends in DC, then get a job up there. Unless you don't own a house, it is easier to change jobs than homes.

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by SamSpade
That was my rationale too when I was making the trip and trying to do things here. But the long commute has other consequences.

For one - to make it to work by 7, I had to leave no later than 5:30. This meant getting up no later than 5, and usually, 4:30. If you go in much later, you get MORE traffic each way. Since I wanted that 10th day off, I worked compressed schedule, plus it saves on a day's worth of gas. That means leaving work no later than 4:30, putting me home no sooner than 6. Usually, somewhat exhausted. My girlfriend, thankfully, lived nearby. I'd wash up, grab a bite and drive over, but I couldn't stay as late as 11. Why? The damned commute again. I'm getting up at 4:30, and I don't want less than 5 hours sleep.

More and more, that compressed schedule day off looked pretty good.

The issue of getting up earlier, going to bed early is a concern of mine. I'm not going to do the compressed schedule, so I will hopefully leave at 6:15am, get back at 6pm. If I am allowed to work at home, and only need to do this 3 out of 5 days I think it would be manageable.

You don't know how blessed you are to live close to your job. But if you MUST be with your friends in DC, then get a job up there. Unless you don't own a house, it is easier to change jobs than homes.

Its more than just being with my girlfriend and friends. I am not happy with other aspects of living here.

I figure I will try this new arrangement out for a year. If it works, I might stick with it for an additional year. If it doesn't work out I will try and have my job transfer me to the office near DC. I've been told that if you have worked for 2 - 3 years you can transfer without a problem.

I am still looking for info about Bowie and Upper Marlboro. What is it like living there? Where should and shouldn't I look. Does anyone have other suggestions for places that are closer to DC?

 

[aps45819]

If you don't like it here, move. You sound like a lot of folks I met in the Navy, no matter where we were, it's "I don't like it here." Even heard that while stationed in Hawaii. Make the most of where you are, no matter where that is. Partake of the local culture. So go join a softball team, drink some 10 oz buds, get a DWI and bond with your cell mate.

 

[SmallTown]

Originally posted by terp03
Does anyone have other suggestions for places that are closer to DC?

You could try landover,md

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by aps45819
If you don't like it here, move. You sound like a lot of folks I met in the Navy, no matter where we were, it's "I don't like it here." Even heard that while stationed in Hawaii. Make the most of where you are, no matter where that is. Partake of the local culture. So go join a softball team, drink some 10 oz buds, get a DWI and bond with your cell mate.

I was very happy living in Fairfax and College Park. I've done the best I could here, but there is just much less to "make the most of" when compared to the immediate DC area. I'm trying to get back to where I know I want to be.

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by SmallTown
You could try landover,md

Any ideas on how long the commute would be?

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Originally posted by otter
Pssst, Chasey, they are talking bout the Solomons bridge

:dur: Guess that's what I get for only reading some of the treads...

 

[sifl]

Originally posted by SmallTown
You could try landover,md

Temple Hills?

 

[yardsalequeen]

how about Chesapeake Beach? If you got a place near the water your friends may want to come visit you instead of you going there.

 

[SamSpade]

When I was making my decision - whether to move, or change jobs - moving to Chesapeake Beach WAS one of the options I considered. Access to Southern Maryland, Annapolis, DC, and very affordable. It turns out that a LOT of my former associates eventually moved there.

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by yardsalequeen
how about Chesapeake Beach? If you got a place near the water your friends may want to come visit you instead of you going there.

How long of a commute is it from Chesapeake Beach to Lexington Park?

 

[SuperGrover]

Originally posted by terp03
How long of a commute is it from Chesapeake Beach to Lexington Park?

it's about 45 minutes to 1 hour... at least that's how long it took me last weekend.

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by sifl
Temple Hills?

Great idea! I was also thinking of Oxon Hill....rent would be soooo cheap!!

 

[terp03]

Originally posted by SuperGrover
it's about 45 minutes to 1 hour... at least that's how long it took me last weekend.

I think I'll add it to my list of places to consider.