New Daycare-Separation Anxiety

[me123]

Good Morning,
I just started a new daycare this week and its been rather rough more on me then it is my daughter. She started on Monday and she cried for a half hour and my husband picked her up because of me. So then Tuesday she was there a new day new start she cried and then yesterday she cried (Which i know its normal thing for her to do). Then this morning i dropped her off and she lets out these heartbreaking screams. and i just walked away and i feel horrible. It was me just having the separation anxiety but now its like it's both of us. She woke up a few times last night saying Ma ma then cries. So that has been tough then this morning happened which put a knife in my heart to hear those screams. i have the provider call me when she calms down and it seems to be a less amount of time each day but does anyone have any advice how we can get over our anxiety and make it a smooth drop off? TIA

 

[huntr1]

Stop having the provider call you. That just makes it harder on you. Just walk away and ignore that she is crying. That will make it less painful when it gets to the point that she gets out of the car and RUNS to the provider and ignores you as you leave.

Eventually it will get better.

 

[Nickel]

My mom is a preschool teacher and sees this happen often at the beginning of every school year. The kids who get over it the quickest are the ones whose parents are upbeat when they drop them off. You may be crying on the inside, but you need to put your brave face on because she's going to look at you for cues on how to react to this new situation. Smile, give her a hug and kiss, and tell her she's going to have a great day.

 

[me123]

Stop having the provider call you. That just makes it harder on you. Just walk away and ignore that she is crying.
QUOTE]

Thanks for the advice but i don't know if i could do that! I need reassurance she's ok if not i'll be worried about it all day. I am proud of myself because Tuesday I called before her snack and yesterday i didn't call at all. So I am trying to knock that crap off anyways but that's my world in and i just worry...

My mom is a preschool teacher and sees this happen often at the beginning of every school year. The kids who get over it the quickest are the ones whose parents are upbeat when they drop them off. You may be crying on the inside, but you need to put your brave face on because she's going to look at you for cues on how to react to this new situation. Smile, give her a hug and kiss, and tell her she's going to have a great day.

Oh your poor mom!! God bless her! I've tried to be upbeat and happy about it. I even ask her in a excited tone are we going to see the dog dogs and the kitty kitty's at this place. and she just looks at me like mom you're nuts.
Thank you as well with your advice I'll try it tomorrow!

 

[High-Def]

Good Morning,
I just started a new daycare this week and its been rather rough more on me then it is my daughter. She started on Monday and she cried for a half hour and my husband picked her up because of me. So then Tuesday she was there a new day new start she cried and then yesterday she cried (Which i know its normal thing for her to do). Then this morning i dropped her off and she lets out these heartbreaking screams. and i just walked away and i feel horrible. It was me just having the separation anxiety but now its like it's both of us. She woke up a few times last night saying Ma ma then cries. So that has been tough then this morning happened which put a knife in my heart to hear those screams. i have the provider call me when she calms down and it seems to be a less amount of time each day but does anyone have any advice how we can get over our anxiety and make it a smooth drop off? TIA

I let my son take his favorite stuffed animal with him until he got used to going to the new daycare, it was just a little piece of home with him and it worked for us

 

[Cowgirl]

My mom is a preschool teacher and sees this happen often at the beginning of every school year. The kids who get over it the quickest are the ones whose parents are upbeat when they drop them off. You may be crying on the inside, but you need to put your brave face on because she's going to look at you for cues on how to react to this new situation. Smile, give her a hug and kiss, and tell her she's going to have a great day.

We went through this when Girlie started daycare. You need to be quick when you drop her off. Don't linger with the 'bye honey, you'll be ok, it's ok, etc." Just be matter-of-fact and cheerful and make it quick. It'll get better!

 

[kom526]

Stop, drop and roll. To get your child excited about going talk about Miss So and So and playing with little Susie, then follow step 1. I agree with Huntr, stop having the provider call you, because before you know it she'll be like "leave me alone, I'm going to play!"

 

[RareBreed]

My kids started day-care at aged 4 weeks and 8 weeks so I never had this problem (Thank God). I agree with the others. Be casual about it and make it seem like it's a fun place to go and see new friends. She'll be fine in a few days. Good luck!!

 

[huntr1]

I agree with Huntr, stop having the provider call you, because before you know it she'll be like "leave me alone, I'm going to play!"

SEE!!!

I am the parent of 4 and husband of a provider. I know of what I speak.

Your daughter will be fine by the end of next week, although with the holiday it may take another week after that. It's all about putting on a positive front to her on your part. If YOU are excited about what she's doing, SHE'LL be excited about it too.

 

[BadGirl]

Let me tell you this: I am more than thrilled to leave my boy at daycare. Every morning I can't wait to drop him off.

He feels the same way, too.







j/k, but only sorta. He loves going to daycare, and I'm happy that he likes it there so much. It makes leaving him so much easier.

 

[kom526]

Let me tell you this: I am more than thrilled to leave my boy at daycare. Every morning I can't wait to drop him off.

He feels the same way, too.







j/k, but only sorta. He loves going to daycare, and I'm happy that he likes it there so much. It makes leaving him so much easier.

My first one got to the point where he wanted to go to daycare on off days so he could play.

 

[BELDsmom]

My first one got to the point where he wanted to go to daycare on off days so he could play.

My oldest is the same way!

It will get better, it just takes time. Hang in there, it's harder on you than the kids.

 

[RareBreed]

Let me tell you this: I am more than thrilled to leave my boy at daycare. Every morning I can't wait to drop him off.

He feels the same way, too.







j/k, but only sorta. He loves going to daycare, and I'm happy that he likes it there so much. It makes leaving him so much easier.

My first one got to the point where he wanted to go to daycare on off days so he could play.

Both my sons are now in full-time school and I had taken the day off when they were not in school throughout the year (except during the week of Spring Break). Both asked me if they could go to the sitter's next year on days off instead of me staying home. In reality, it works out better because I don't have to use leave and I know that kids are safe and happy. My oldest likes it there now especially because he's the oldest and gets to be "in charge" of the babies (to an certain extent) and he's the sitter's helper throughout the day.

 

[greeneyes36]

just make it a quick goodbye...love you... see you tonight. i promise you, she is NOT crying more than a few minutes. my mom did childcare...and i have 2 that i've had to put in childcare. DO NOT call and talk to your child during the day - that just opens up the opportunity for the meltdown to occur AGAIN. if you want the provider to call you and let you know how child is doing, okay...but you talking to her and going through the whole are you ok? routine is just needless. your child is fine.... if you are okay, your child will be too!! i learned to be quick about departures....if you and the provider have time to visit a little in the evenings when you pick up, than do it then. drop and roll out. best for EVERYONE. good luck...

 

[MDTerps]

I took my lil one to the provider that we will be using (soon I hope) a few times so they could meet each other. The 3rd time I dropped off my daughter gave her a kiss and walked out. She cried for an hour and the provider finally called me. The crying was the gag cough throw up cry. Even after I returned my daughter continued to cry for the next 10-15 minutes.

Then next week when I took her back she started crying when I made the turn into the drive way. She cried off and on for the first hour WE were there.
The next week- Repeat
The next week-Repeat
The next week-cried for a few minutes
This week no crying until she noticed that I had stepped out of view.

She will not let the provider pick her up or touch her in any way other then to give a quick hug and high-five when we leave. Everytime it is mentioned that we are going to see the provider my daughters response is "momma stay with you"? And since all of this everytime we go anywhere she is not familiar with she says "Momma stay with you" and "momma hold you" as soon as we pull in and get out of the car.