New friends and guns

[jetmonkey]

Ask if they have weed in the house. You'll be surprised by how often the answer is 'what?'

 

[baileydog]

Do you have time to hold thier hand where ever they go? I mean, I understand your concern, but sometimes you have to trust them that they will do what's right, unless they prove otherwide.

Thats what s wrong with kids today, tooooooo much freedom to do as they please. Kids need you to hold their hand, they need guidence. I have seen the look on a parents face when they find out their kid has been killed by a gun at a friends house. You DO NOT want to see that. It does not take a village to raise a child, it takes mom and dad to do it. Take responsibility for them and what they do and where they go.

 

[Geek]

It's never come up as an issue. Both of mine are real rule followers and I believe I would have been told had there been an issue.

You have no control of what they get exposed to in other households. All you can do as a parent, is discuss stuff with them daily, and hold firm to your rules and beliefs. I find that there are times when a parent can compromise on something here and there (it's part of letting them grow up and become independent), but if you hold firm to the imporant things, kids recognize that.

Example, my son was about 10 years old when he come home from a sleepover and was raving about the latest shoot 'em up thug PS2 game he played. He wanted it for his next birthday. I told him it wasn't happening. I didn't condone a game that consisted of shooting cops, killing pedestrians, etc. and that just because little Johnny's mom didn't mind doesn't mean I have to condone it. I told him there were many other games to select from and to give me a new list. He did. He's soon to be 15 and the issue never came up again.

I know this is a watered down example, but an example of what you have no control over just the same. I accepted what I could not change (that he would play it over little Johnny's house), but I still held the line at what I defined as acceptable. My son respected that. Now that he's mentioned on more than one occasion that he appreciates when we don't cave in, his exact words were, "It tells me you love me and really care about what I do."

I think that is a good example. Conversation with your kids is the best way to find out anything. I guess I will be an asker and a talker. I wouldn't be offended if somone asked me about guns.

 

[vraiblonde]

I accepted what I could not change (that he would play it over little Johnny's house),

Actually, you CAN change that. But I wouldn't have refused to let my kid play over there because of a video game. The girls weren't interested in games - their bag was movies that they weren't allowed to watch at home. I was outnumbered big time on this, so I simply called the Mom and told her that my kid wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies, and would she please provide PG-13s or less without embarrassing my kid in front of her pals?

Never had a Mom say no to that request.

 

[vraiblonde]

I wouldn't be offended if somone asked me about guns.

I wasn't offended when the Mom asked us. :shrug:

 

[kwillia]

Actually, you CAN change that. But I wouldn't have refused to let my kid play over there because of a video game. The girls weren't interested in games - their bag was movies that they weren't allowed to watch at home. I was outnumbered big time on this, so I simply called the Mom and told her that my kid wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies, and would she please provide PG-13s or less without embarrassing my kid in front of her pals?

Never had a Mom say no to that request.

You are right, I worded that wrong. I could have made it an issue, but chose to compromise. My girl is having a sleep over soon and in the RSVP she has a check box for "Are you allowed to watch Pirates of the Carribean II?". It's how we roll...

 

[HunterJJD]

So do you ask for a driving record also? If they plan to drive my kid any place

What about DUI/DWI?
Drugs?
Or if the car stays locked up?

But to top it off I would worry the most about the funny uncle


How many kids have been shot or hurt with guns this year over DUI/DWI/Drugs/Funny Uncles/Priests

 

[Cowgirl]

I think it's a legitimate concern...I don't understand why people think it's such a crazy idea to ask. I was never allowed to go to a friend's house unless my parents had met the friend's parents first. And I wasn't allowed to spend the night at a 'new' friend's house until my parents had spent some time with the friend's parents...not just a "Hi, how are you?" meeting.

I can understand parents giving kids more freedom or being less cautious when their kids are in high school, but if I had elementary aged kids, I would be very careful about where they spend their time.

 

[HunterJJD]

Your worried about steel guns, this is your biggest worry

LEONARDTOWN, Md. - The St. Mary's County Bureau of Criminal Investigations (BCI) reported this morning that two St. Mary's County men have been arrested for the rape of a 13 year-old female.

On April 17, BCI began an investigation into a reported rape. According to police, Irvin Joseph Branson, a 25 year-old male from Chaptico, and Gary Ignatius Branson, a 21 year-old male from Clements, had sexual intercourse with a 13 year-old female. Irvin Branson reportedly had intercourse with the female on four separate occasions over a two week period and Gary Branson had sexual intercourse with her on one occasion.

The men are brothers.

Both men were arrested and transported to the St. Mary's County Detention Center.

Irvin Branson was charged with 4 counts of 2nd Degree Rape. Gary Branson was charged with one count of 2nd Degree Rape. Both men were incarcerated at the St. Mary's County Detention Center in Leonardtown.

 

[Nickel]

I think it's a legitimate concern...I don't understand why people think it's such a crazy idea to ask. I was never allowed to go to a friend's house unless my parents had met the friend's parents first. And I wasn't allowed to spend the night at a 'new' friend's house until my parents had spent some time with the friend's parents...not just a "Hi, how are you?" meeting.

That's how it works for us. My young'n hasn't started school yet, so his friends are limited to the neighborhood. The only friend he spends a decent amount of time with (and in their house) is our neighbor, and we know his dad pretty well. He's career military also, so he seems to hold the same values and expectations that we do. When he starts school and begins making friends away from home we'll have to become proactive in meeting their parents.

 

[Sharon]

You make talking to the new kids parents sound like a bad thing.

Oh horse doodie! I did nothing of the sort.

Get involved with your kids friends and their parents. Know these things before you let your kids go. Just ask them, by the way, do you own any guns? And do you have locks on them? whats so hard

I've raised 3 children and they are all still very much alive. Many parents don't give a crap where their young kids are as long as these parents aren't being bothered and they don't have to discipline them. Their kids were at MY house and we OWN guns. More often than not, most gun owners are responsible in many aspects of their lives.

I would've laughed at these parents if their major concern was whether I owned guns. I preferred their kids at my house as opposed to my kids being at theirs because of the stories my kids came home with or their own children told me.

 

[HunterJJD]

Your worried about steel guns, this is your biggest worry

LEONARDTOWN, Md. - The St. Mary's County Bureau of Criminal Investigations (BCI) reported this morning that two St. Mary's County men have been arrested for the rape of a 13 year-old female.

On April 17, BCI began an investigation into a reported rape. According to police, Irvin Joseph Branson, a 25 year-old male from Chaptico, and Gary Ignatius Branson, a 21 year-old male from Clements, had sexual intercourse with a 13 year-old female. Irvin Branson reportedly had intercourse with the female on four separate occasions over a two week period and Gary Branson had sexual intercourse with her on one occasion.

The men are brothers.

Both men were arrested and transported to the St. Mary's County Detention Center.

Irvin Branson was charged with 4 counts of 2nd Degree Rape. Gary Branson was charged with one count of 2nd Degree Rape. Both men were incarcerated at the St. Mary's County Detention Center in Leonardtown.

To who ever gave me red for posting this, I did not write it, just posted it. Also most cases happen awhile before the scared child has a chance or feels safe to tell someone

 

[Chain729]

I'm such a bad daddy. All I ask is whether or not they have the teddy bears with the hard button-type eyes under lock and key. I have SO much that I should be adding to the list: movies, video games, kitchen knives, guns, bullets, funny uncles, hard candy, 5 gallon bucks, whether or not a bathroom door exists, pitbulls, burmese pythons... So much to worry about these days, I wonder if Princess will make it to 1, let alone to 18

 

[vraiblonde]

I would've laughed at these parents if their major concern was whether I owned guns.

I didn't laugh at the parent, but whether there was a gun in the house was WAY down on my list of concerns.

 

[Sharon]

I didn't laugh at the parent, but whether there was a gun in the house was WAY down on my list of concerns.

It was probably the same for these parents because they never asked.

In the summer months, kids used to show up on my doorstep before my kids were even awake.

 

[sparkyaclown]

I think it's more important to school your kids on guns and teach them to respect them than to worry about whether their friends parents have them. I've lived around them all my life and I own them. I was taught they were not to play with. I have no clue where my father kept them when I was a kid. I knew we had them, knew wherever they were they weren't locked up and I could have easily gotten to them. I never sought them out because I was taught better and feared the repercussion had I disobeyed that rule. Had I been over at a friends house and they pulled one out I wouldn't have stuck around long.

 

[huntr1]

I think it's more important to school your kids on guns and teach them to respect them than to worry about whether their friends parents have them. I've lived around them all my life and I own them. I was taught they were not to play with. I have no clue where my father kept them when I was a kid. I knew we had them, knew wherever they were they weren't locked up and I could have easily gotten to them. I never sought them out because I was taught better and feared the repercussion had I disobeyed that rule. Had I been over at a friends house and they pulled one out I wouldn't have stuck around long.

I own guns.

I have kids.

I have taught my kids the basics of gun safety. Don't touch, Don't play with, Tell me if you see one while playing. I also showed them the Eddie Eagle video the NRA put out.

 

[unixpirate]

If your child is going to play at a friend's house do you ask the parents if there are any guns in the house and if so are the guns locked up?

Mine take there guns, so no need to ask:shrug:

 

[Cowgirl]

Mine take there guns, so no need to ask:shrug:

Do you mean to say "Mine take their guns" or "Mine take guns there?"

 

[unixpirate]

Do you mean to say "Mine take their guns"