GopherM
Darwin was right
What to expect if you get 114 proof bourbon down your windpipe:
1. A flaming ping pong ball filled with napalm will rupture somewhere below your vocal cords.
2. Your breathing will immediately stop.
3. You won’t be able to breath or tell anyone what is wrong.
4. You will gasp for breath and life for the next 30 seconds (feels like an hour).
5. When your breathing partially returns and you will begin coughing violently and still not be able to tell anyone what is wrong.
6. Your eyes will water uncontrollably.
7. Everything in your sinuses and upper respiratory will liquidity and run down your upper lip mixing with the tears.
8. After 2-3 minutes (feels like 2-3 hours) your breathing will seem more in control and you can now scream for help.
9. You become more certain that you might live through the ordeal and breathing becomes a bit more normal.
10. Ooops...now you have the dry heaves in an attempt by your system’s survival instinct to purge the rest of the napalm from your upper chest.
11. More stuff than you though possible will continue to pour from your nose and eyes. Make sure you have plenty of tissues available for this phase.
12. Then end is in sight. You are finally able to breath normal (maybe), the stomach has settled, the nose has stopped running, but you may still have tears in your eyes as you thank the heavens for your survival.
1. A flaming ping pong ball filled with napalm will rupture somewhere below your vocal cords.
2. Your breathing will immediately stop.
3. You won’t be able to breath or tell anyone what is wrong.
4. You will gasp for breath and life for the next 30 seconds (feels like an hour).
5. When your breathing partially returns and you will begin coughing violently and still not be able to tell anyone what is wrong.
6. Your eyes will water uncontrollably.
7. Everything in your sinuses and upper respiratory will liquidity and run down your upper lip mixing with the tears.
8. After 2-3 minutes (feels like 2-3 hours) your breathing will seem more in control and you can now scream for help.
9. You become more certain that you might live through the ordeal and breathing becomes a bit more normal.
10. Ooops...now you have the dry heaves in an attempt by your system’s survival instinct to purge the rest of the napalm from your upper chest.
11. More stuff than you though possible will continue to pour from your nose and eyes. Make sure you have plenty of tissues available for this phase.
12. Then end is in sight. You are finally able to breath normal (maybe), the stomach has settled, the nose has stopped running, but you may still have tears in your eyes as you thank the heavens for your survival.
