Playground conversation...

[pixiegirl]

Well, okay...I've never seen you hit anybody.

You know darn well that I am all sugar!

 

[LexiGirl75]

Wow, your family sounds really dysfunctional and in need of serious counseling.

Really dysfunctional is a little more branded than you really needed to go. One thing I will tell you is that we do love each other, and I will have his back as will the rest of us if it ever became a him against them.

Secondly, while I won't say that fighting is ok amongst family, it certainly is not unheard of. Let's not pretend like most families are like the Huxtables or the Keaton's.

Third, you never heard me mention a man in the family at all. Because there was not one, not to say that if there was one things would have been different but I would like to think that if there was a good male role model for all of we would show more respect to each other.

Also, don't get the idea that this was an everyday event because it wasn't. My brother now is the person that he really does his own thing. He don't pay any of us attention really. But it's just a habit (like on the forums) that you knit pick with those you know well enough to do that with and still know there is love. Sometimes when you hit a nerve (or as I say, play too close to the truth) ish hits the fan. Someone gets upsset, and it's on.

None of us girls or my older brother ever got into these altercations with each other. I won't say we didn't get on each others nerve or tick each other off but it wasn't like an attack. I think my brother is on guard and defensive at this point. Which is a natural reaction to feeling attacked by a group of people over a period of time.

And in my mother's defense my brother was in counseling but like I said he is 16 and believes he is his own man. So he stopped meeting her after work for counseling as well as stopped attending his counseling sessions at school. Regardless of what anyone says or feels about our family there are far worse scenarios. Feel blessed you didn't grow up in one and pray for those who are and not attack their situation with statements like "really dysfunctional and need serious counseling".

And lastly, my brother has never been convicted, accused or caught up in anything criminal and I know you didn't state that but I am just sharing it. In addition, no one in my family has been in any of the above mentioned situations. But then again it's only like 20 of us and half are children.

 

[happyappygirl]

i put mine out the front door onto the front stoop in whatever they were wearing, regardless of the weather, and told them to work it out. When they did, they could come back inside - but they had to knock a certain way, and NOT resume the argument when they got back inside. If they did, they didn't do it within earshot. Worked for me. Cold days, they didn't stay out long

 

[nomoney]

i put mine out the front door onto the front stoop in whatever they were wearing, regardless of the weather, and told them to work it out. When they did, they could come back inside - but they had to knock a certain way, and NOT resume the argument when they got back inside. If they did, they didn't do it within earshot. Worked for me. Cold days, they didn't stay out long

hmmm...I might have to try that...

 

[happyappygirl]

have to tell ya though, some things just STICK...they fought over a green My Little Pony, and i got sick of hearing them fight over this one d@mn green plastic horse, so i ripped it's little green head off, and threw it away. they never forgave me for that -they never fought over ANY toy in front of me again either. And 2 of them are grown and have kids of their own and they STILL bring up that toy at holiday gatherings.

 

[MMDad]

I bet most of us have dysfunction in our families someway or other. I'm sure Lexi's family is just what it is and they all love each other despite differences. I think when there is a large family there are just more instances than in small bunches.

When I tell my wife stories about my childhood, she always says it's amazing that I didn't turn out effed up. I tell her that I am effed up, just not as bad as I should be.

You can use that dysfunction as an excuse for your adult behavior, or you can learn from it.

 

[happyappygirl]

yeah...like i broke my finger hitting the wall when i took a swipe at my nephew, i learned to yank him AWAY from the corner before i took another swipe at his bottom

 

[kwillia]

have to tell ya though, some things just STICK...they fought over a green My Little Pony, and i got sick of hearing them fight over this one d@mn green plastic horse, so i ripped it's little green head off, and threw it away. they never forgave me for that -they never fought over ANY toy in front of me again either. And 2 of them are grown and have kids of their own and they STILL bring up that toy at holiday gatherings.

This is a great example of parenting! You made your point and a lifetime lasting impression to boot...all without having to resort to verbal or physical abuse... works ever time...

 

[kwillia]

yeah...like i broke my finger hitting the wall when i took a swipe at my nephew, i learned to yank him AWAY from the corner before i took another swipe at his bottom

Oops! Looks like I sang your praises too soon...

 

[happyappygirl]

This is a great example of parenting! You made your point and a lifetime lasting impression to boot...all without having to resort to verbal or physical abuse... works ever time...

please refer to post number 87...that was BEFORE i revised my discipline methods

that swiping the bottom story is fake...but it COULD have happened right?

if i swiped at them, they'd just laugh cause it didn't take long for them to get bigger than me.

 

[citysherry]

Really dysfunctional is a little more branded than you really needed to go. One thing I will tell you is that we do love each other, and I will have his back as will the rest of us if it ever became a him against them.

Secondly, while I won't say that fighting is ok amongst family, it certainly is not unheard of. Let's not pretend like most families are like the Huxtables or the Keaton's.

Third, you never heard me mention a man in the family at all. Because there was not one, not to say that if there was one things would have been different but I would like to think that if there was a good male role model for all of we would show more respect to each other.

Also, don't get the idea that this was an everyday event because it wasn't. My brother now is the person that he really does his own thing. He don't pay any of us attention really. But it's just a habit (like on the forums) that you knit pick with those you know well enough to do that with and still know there is love. Sometimes when you hit a nerve (or as I say, play too close to the truth) ish hits the fan. Someone gets upsset, and it's on.

None of us girls or my older brother ever got into these altercations with each other. I won't say we didn't get on each others nerve or tick each other off but it wasn't like an attack. I think my brother is on guard and defensive at this point. Which is a natural reaction to feeling attacked by a group of people over a period of time.

And in my mother's defense my brother was in counseling but like I said he is 16 and believes he is his own man. So he stopped meeting her after work for counseling as well as stopped attending his counseling sessions at school. Regardless of what anyone says or feels about our family there are far worse scenarios. Feel blessed you didn't grow up in one and pray for those who are and not attack their situation with statements like "really dysfunctional and need serious counseling".

And lastly, my brother has never been convicted, accused or caught up in anything criminal and I know you didn't state that but I am just sharing it. In addition, no one in my family has been in any of the above mentioned situations. But then again it's only like 20 of us and half are children.

Sorry I made you feel defensive about your family. I have three brothers and I can't recall even one time that they ever even raised a hand to me or my sisters. We had a hard fast rule in our house growing up - no hitting allowed.

 

[LexiGirl75]

Sorry I made you feel defensive about your family. I have three brothers and I can't recall even one time that they ever even raised a hand to me or my sisters. We had a hard fast rule in our house growing up - no hitting allowed.

Forget about it. I have that rule in my house too. With two sons you have to get them early before the testerone flies out of whack.