private instructor

[donbarzini]

Otter, I wholeheartedly agree with you about today's prevailing attitude.....

But(you knew it was coming)...a short time ago I was "offered" the chance to have my 13 yo son join a select travel baseball team. He and I sat down and really talked it out. We went over the current roster of the team and we realized that he really wasn't as good as the player at his position. So he knew he would be sitting on the bench and he was okay with that. Well, I wasn't. Not because of the "status" issue, but because it costs $400.00 up front to join the team, and I'm not paying that to have him pick splinters out of his a$$ and play an inning or two a week. So if it's a monetary issue, I can sympathize, but if a kid gets pulled off a team because he's not starting, you're setting one hell of a precedent for later in life: "What, I'm NOT your favorite employee? Then I quit!!".

 

[cattitude]

Well,
My son will not be going to state this year. The travel team isgoing, but not my son. His coach has become all about winning and not about the boys having a good time. He has really change sine the team started to win. I will not have my son be subjected to feel that his is not worthy of playing. They tell him he is good and he earn his spot on the team. However this year it seems like he earn his spot on the pine pony. So to those of you who thought I am nothing but a pushy mother, I am not. My son in all of the years of playing never once cried on the fields but this Tuesday was a different story. Well the coach knows how I feel along with everyone else on the team.... I said when it becomes not fun anymore I will take him off the field and I did.. This coach is not going to make my son lose his passion for the sport.

At some point, it does become about the winning. You can't have it both ways. Travel teams are usually made of the best athletes...the object IS to win. Your son made the team, good for him. Key word is TEAM. What if one of the boys gets injured...comes up sick..your son should be there, ready to play.

It's NOT always fun but if he has a true passion for the game, then he will accept that he must work hard and endure the disappointments that come along. This will help him in not only sports, but life.

Going to the "States" is a great opportunity to meet and enjoy the company of many, many ballplayers his age. It's about much more than just playing a game.

How unfortunate for your son that you are sending him the wrong message.

 

[cdsulhoff]

There is more to the story... I am leaving it at that.

 

[Larry Gude]

This thread has opened a wound...

...:soapbox:

One of the WORST things I can think of as regards schooling, budgets and the power of the people is the elimination of Junior High sports programs.

This happened my 9th grade year, 1979, in PG County. When our basketball season was over, that was it.

Prior to that, you had all these teams and you had games after lunch. For home games, winter indoor games, the bleachers were packed with a handful of conscientious objectors going to study hall. In the spring, there was nothing like getting outside for soccer and baseball.

As I understand it, this was all about budget cutting. So, the one single biggest thing that gave us kids, all of us, not just the kids on teams, a sense of COMMUNITY was deemed expendable.

So, where did all this go? This thread. The specialization of kids sports. Travel teams. Soccer moms. Parents fighting. It also took away weekends spent in the back yard or bowling or whatever and put people in their cars. If nothing else, it took the activities of yore and ADDED hours and hours in the car and on the sidelines. The result; Stress. Monday mornings are now, in addition to being the beginning of the work week, you add that there really wasn't any relaxation going on over the weekend.

So, parents time is now involved and parents want a return on their time. If they have to drive all weekend, they don't want to see their kid on the bench. They don't want to see their kid get a bad call go against them. They get pissed if another parent encourages THEIR kid in a way they take offense to. Coaches are just as bad. They have lives and jobs AND all these parents to deal with.

In the old Junior high days, we stayed AFTER school for practice and rode an activity bus home. Coaches were just doing their JOBS, not adding work loads. No one was suffering traffic and eating meals in their car and treating their kids like they are some star who can't do chores or cut grass or just be a kid on the weekends because they HAVE A GAME(s).

The loss of sense of community is my biggest rail. Kids who moved on to other things in high school still had a connection to classmates because they played together for a year in 8th grade or went to games together or were a manager one year. When our youth athletics are club based, that's not the peers you will go to school with and far less kids will be involved because they can't try out and go DURING school hours. Not all parents can or will get their kid involved if they have to be driving them to and from.

Hell, nowadays, you got kids OUTSIDE their high schools for sports. My nephew plays elite travel soccer and he'll have to choose in a year between travel team and his high school.

My sister and her hubby are awesome about how they've handled all this. The kids are WELL adjusted, do chores, have great manners and have learned some great lessons and made good friends through all of this BUT the parents, have worked their asses off to keep up and they have paid the price. It can be done, but damn, I can't tell you how many times we haven't got to see them because of travel games.

That's enough. For now.

 

[vraiblonde]

At some point, it does become about the winning.

That was an excellent post

Parents get all worked up when their kid sits on the bench or has some pressure to perform. They say, "It's all about having fun" but if that were the truth they'd have their kid playing sandlot with the neighbor kids. THAT is fun and zero stress.

"The coach of our elite travel team is too focused on winning."

DUH!!! Ya think??? If you want your kid to play ball and enjoy it without the pressure of winning, put them on a regular team.

 

[itsbob]

Well,
My son will not be going to state this year. The travel team is going, but not my son. His coach has become all about winning and not about the boys having a good time. He has really change since the team started to win. I will not have my son be subjected to feel that his is not worthy of playing. They tell him he is good and he earn his spot on the team. However this year it seems like he earn his spot on the pine pony. So to those of you who thought I am nothing but a pushy mother, I am not. My son in all of the years of playing never once cried on the fields but this Tuesday was a different story. Well the coach knows how I feel along with everyone else on the team.... I said when it becomes not fun anymore I will take him off the field and I did.. This coach is not going to make my son lose his passion for the sport.

SOunds to me like you missed a great opportunity to teach your son about maturity, team sports, and sportsmanship.

If he was good enough to make it into Pro Baseball, the chances are REAL good that he would spend his first 2, 3 or maybe even FIVE seasons doing the same thing. You are good enough to make the team, doesn't necessarily mean you are good enough (YET) to play for the team. Every team needs depth, which means they need a good bench. Now he's let his team down, and now they have that much less depth then they had just prior to going to states.

You've taught him that if he doesn't get his way, if he doesn't get to play, then just quit, because that is SOOO unfair. Life is unfair, but it's up to us to teach our kids to be adults, and handle it when it happens to them.

 

[SouthCountyMom]

This is a time you need to be a parent, not a supporter... You have just taught your kid that it is o.k. to quit if things aren't going the way you like it.... I've always taught my kids to stick it out and next year you don't have to play...Do they like it??? NO, but they have learned once you start something, you finish with a positive attitude!!!

 

[itsbob]

At some point, it does become about the winning. You can't have it both ways. Travel teams are usually made of the best athletes...the object IS to win. Your son made the team, good for him. Key word is TEAM. What if one of the boys gets injured...comes up sick..your son should be there, ready to play.

It's NOT always fun but if he has a true passion for the game, then he will accept that he must work hard and endure the disappointments that come along. This will help him in not only sports, but life.

Going to the "States" is a great opportunity to meet and enjoy the company of many, many ballplayers his age. It's about much more than just playing a game.

How unfortunate for your son that you are sending him the wrong message.

Wish I read your post before I wrote mine.

 

[nomoney]

very well said catt and itsbob. I've been involved with team sports for many many years. People (kids and parents) that just quit because they're not getting the amount of playing time they THINK they deserve grate my last nerve. Reminds me of the kids in the sandbox that huff and puff and take their toys to go home when they don't get their way.

 

[itsbob]

When Nicholas gets bigger, ok OLDER.. I hope to convert our field into a "sandlot" ballfield, and hopefully he can find enough local kids to play sandlot games in the field. I would be so content to sit outside and watch him and his friends play a game, or better yet, play with them.

If nothing else, BG's family likes to play softball.. just have to have them over more often to keep the field in use..

 

[kwillia]

When Nicholas gets bigger, ok OLDER.. I hope to convert our field into a "sandlot" ballfield, and hopefully he can find enough local kids to play sandlot games in the field. I would be so content to sit outside and watch him and his friends play a game, or better yet, play with them.

If nothing else, BG's family likes to play softball.. just have to have them over more often to keep the field in use..

Ummm... when Nicholas is old enough to play you and BG's family will be using walkers and/or wheelchairs... I wanna come watch those games too...

 

[itsbob]

Ummm... when Nicholas is old enough to play you and BG's family will be using walkers and/or wheelchairs... I wanna come watch those games too...

Well, his nephew could play with him for sure...

And I can chase the two of them around the yard on the tractor....

Or maybe by then I'll have my very own Rascal!!

I think I'll be able to swing a bat from the seat of a Rascal..

 

[BadGirl]

Ummm... when Nicholas is old enough to play you and BG's family will be using walkers and/or wheelchairs... I wanna come watch those games too...

I have 14 neices and nephews and 21 great nieces and nephews. I'm sure that one of those kids will play with little Bubba.

I'll set up a spectator's stand and you can have the wheelcheer parking space right next to mine. We can be the toofless cheerleading squad.

 

[kwillia]

I have 14 neices and nephews and 21 great nieces and nephews. I'm sure that one of those kids will play with little Bubba.

I'll set up a spectator's stand and you can have the wheelcheer parking space right next to mine. We can be the toofless cheerleading squad.

Goooooo Bubba...

 

[itsbob]

I have 14 neices and nephews and 21 great nieces and nephews. I'm sure that one of those kids will play with little Bubba.

I'll set up a spectator's stand and you can have the wheelcheer parking space right next to mine. We can be the toofless cheerleading squad.

DAMN you must be old.. I don't have ANY of those..