Report Card

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tygrace

New Member
If your child only stayed with you on the weekends, during long school breaks and all summer, would you punish them for having a bad report card? 4 D's and 2 or 3 C's. My stepson is in 9th grade, and his 1st report card was B's and C's. This last one though wasn't good and his mom has told me that he doesn't do homework on a regular basis and that she has caught him lying about school work in general. My husband doesn't want to punish him since he's only here for the weekend. I definitely see is point, but I also feel that he should have to do something about this-just don't know what. His mom is not punishing him to my knowledge (my husband doesn't want to discuss with her or me, hopes problem will just go away).
Any advice?
 
Sharon

Sharon

* * * * * * * * *
Staff member
PREMO Member
tygrace said:
My husband doesn't want to punish him...

His mom is not punishing him to my knowledge...

Any advice?
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They're his parents and if they don't care about his grades enough to give him some consequences for his actions there's not much you can do.
 
W

Wenchy

Guest
tygrace said:
If your child only stayed with you on the weekends, during long school breaks and all summer, would you punish them for having a bad report card? 4 D's and 2 or 3 C's. My stepson is in 9th grade, and his 1st report card was B's and C's. This last one though wasn't good and his mom has told me that he doesn't do homework on a regular basis and that she has caught him lying about school work in general. My husband doesn't want to punish him since he's only here for the weekend. I definitely see is point, but I also feel that he should have to do something about this-just don't know what. His mom is not punishing him to my knowledge (my husband doesn't want to discuss with her or me, hopes problem will just go away).
Any advice?
Click to expand...

We need ditch diggers and "Ding! Fries are done" people.

Stepchild?

Haha. Good luck.

However, if the child doesn't clean up after himself, and is basically an entitlement brat, I suggest you either poison him or move on before you get charged with murder.
 
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Wenchy

Guest
tygrace said:
If your child only stayed with you on the weekends, during long school breaks and all summer, would you punish them for having a bad report card? 4 D's and 2 or 3 C's. My stepson is in 9th grade, and his 1st report card was B's and C's. This last one though wasn't good and his mom has told me that he doesn't do homework on a regular basis and that she has caught him lying about school work in general. My husband doesn't want to punish him since he's only here for the weekend. I definitely see is point, but I also feel that he should have to do something about this-just don't know what. His mom is not punishing him to my knowledge (my husband doesn't want to discuss with her or me, hopes problem will just go away).
Any advice?
Click to expand...

My child is only with me on the weekends, school breaks and summers. You better believe he will pay the consequences if his grades were that bad. His father would also smack his butt.

Not all children can get the same grades, but they can strive for something.

The most important thing is for all parents to work together and with the child.
 
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desertrat

desertrat

0_0
tygrace said:
If your child only stayed with you on the weekends, during long school breaks and all summer, would you punish them for having a bad report card? 4 D's and 2 or 3 C's. My stepson is in 9th grade, and his 1st report card was B's and C's. This last one though wasn't good and his mom has told me that he doesn't do homework on a regular basis and that she has caught him lying about school work in general. My husband doesn't want to punish him since he's only here for the weekend. I definitely see is point, but I also feel that he should have to do something about this-just don't know what. His mom is not punishing him to my knowledge (my husband doesn't want to discuss with her or me, hopes problem will just go away).
Any advice?
Click to expand...

I would try to talk to him about the importance of an education. Get him interested in doing well.
 
T

tygrace

New Member
Wenchy said:
We need ditch diggers and "Ding! Fries are done" people.

Stepchild?

Haha. Good luck.

However, if the child doesn't clean up after himself, and is basically an entitlement brat, I suggest you either poison him or move on before you get charged with murder.
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lol!! I am not getting involved with anything when it comes to him, because it will just cause stress in my marriage and I have accepted it is what it is. I was just curious as to what other's would do if they were in said position. Maybe I could pass on your suggestions to my husband.
But you're right, not sure what his future is going to hold, I just hope we won't be supporting him for the rest of his life!!! Watched an episode of Dr Phil where there was a 26 year old living with his mom and stepdad and he didn't work, had no source of income and his mom allowed it because she felt guilty over the divorce!!
 
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Wenchy

Guest
tygrace said:
lol!! I am not getting involved with anything when it comes to him, because it will just cause stress in my marriage and I have accepted it is what it is. I was just curious as to what other's would do if they were in said position. Maybe I could pass on your suggestions to my husband.
But you're right, not sure what his future is going to hold, I just hope we won't be supporting him for the rest of his life!!! Watched an episode of Dr Phil where there was a 26 year old living with his mom and stepdad and he didn't work, had no source of income and his mom allowed it because she felt guilty over the divorce!!
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I am also in a similar position with a stepson.

Check my thread out: "Chores".

I'm thinking about becoming a lesbian with a dyke who has never had children.
 
twinoaks207

twinoaks207

Having Fun!
tygrace said:
If your child only stayed with you on the weekends, during long school breaks and all summer, would you punish them for having a bad report card? 4 D's and 2 or 3 C's. My stepson is in 9th grade, and his 1st report card was B's and C's. This last one though wasn't good and his mom has told me that he doesn't do homework on a regular basis and that she has caught him lying about school work in general. My husband doesn't want to punish him since he's only here for the weekend. I definitely see is point, but I also feel that he should have to do something about this-just don't know what. His mom is not punishing him to my knowledge (my husband doesn't want to discuss with her or me, hopes problem will just go away).
Any advice?
Click to expand...

Someone needs to care enough about this child to find out what's going on with the grades. Why is he not doing the homework? My first thoughts would be that he either has something bothering him that is impacting his schoolwork or he is having difficulty understanding the work -- both of which are things that can be either helped with or fixed. Punishing is not necessarily the answer here and noninvolvement will not help the child. If you have any kind of good relationship with him, see if you can find out what's going on with him. He may just need someone to listen to him. It's a tough age and 9th grade is an adjustment year. High school is different than middle school.

(speaking as mom of 4 with many, many years in education)
 
T

tygrace

New Member
twinoaks207 said:
Someone needs to care enough about this child to find out what's going on with the grades. Why is he not doing the homework? My first thoughts would be that he either has something bothering him that is impacting his schoolwork or he is having difficulty understanding the work -- both of which are things that can be either helped with or fixed. Punishing is not necessarily the answer here and noninvolvement will not help the child. If you have any kind of good relationship with him, see if you can find out what's going on with him. He may just need someone to listen to him. It's a tough age and 9th grade is an adjustment year. High school is different than middle school.

(speaking as mom of 4 with many, many years in education)[/QUOT

We really don't have that kind of relationship. He has always just skated thru school, doing as he puts it "enough to get by". He doesn't apply himself, never has and I think it's all catching up to him. I tried to explain what you learn in 6 you'll need to know in 7th grade and so and so.
Wenchy: I commented on your thread for chores, because we have similar situtations when it comes to chores.
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bcp

bcp

In My Opinion
skillet girl got a B in her spanish class.
at long last, I had something yell at her about when it came to grades.

hard to tell her she needs to do better with all As
 
W

Wenchy

Guest
bcp said:
skillet girl got a B in her spanish class.
at long last, I had something yell at her about when it came to grades.

hard to tell her she needs to do better with all As
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It is, but somebody needs to tell her. :huggy:

My son got a C in Spanish, so skillet gal is one up on him. :yay:
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
My son was a dismal student and I was convinced he'd be an adult layabout, playing video games all day and living in my basement. Today, at 25, he is a stellar young man with a nice wife, great career, big house, couple of dogs, etc.

So keep on him but don't stress too much. Things have a way of working out.

And I will tell you step-mommies - butt your big asses out. It's not your kid and not your business. If you don't like your SO's kid, find a new SO instead of trying to run their child off. How would you like it if your old man was constantly pinging on your kid?
 
sanchezf

sanchezf

Little ol' Me
From someone who has 2 step children, we carry out whatever punishment was handed down at home (majority of living time). I do not always agree with it and diffently don't raise my own child who lives with us all the time the same but like Vari said when it comes down to it, it is not your child and you will only make matters for the children and your relationship with SO that much worse. I have had to have many conversations with my own son as to why he got punished for something they (the step children) did last weeknd and nothing was said, my explaintion is you are my child and my job in life is to raise you to become an adult who knows what responsibility, hardwork, consequences and morals are. If I can do all that for you, you will understand and see the difference when you are an adult. I do sympthize with you it is hard to have step children and know your boundaries....
 
T

tygrace

New Member
vraiblonde said:
And I will tell you step-mommies - butt your big asses out. It's not your kid and not your business. If you don't like your SO's kid, find a new SO instead of trying to run their child off. How would you like it if your old man was constantly pinging on your kid?
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You know, I'm not sure why you needed to say the above statement, but it's out of line. I'm not running my stepson off, do you think that asking for advice to help my husband is bad?
The last time I checked, you weren't living in my house so where do you get off by telling me that I'm pinging on my stepson? Are you a fly on the wall? If you were, you would know that what you said isn't the case at all. You really are out of line and I don't appreciate that coming from you, who I would hold to a higher regard since you're the moderator-but I guess you don't.
 
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