I gave you my opinion, based on your post. Take or leave it, makes no difference to me.
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- Thread starter tygrace
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I gave you my opinion, based on your post. Take or leave it, makes no difference to me.
Your so called "opinion" was quite rude and nasty. BTW, my "small ass" is not butting in to his business. Like I said before, you should be held to a higher regard since you are the moderator-jmo.
How did I miss this tread, until now?
T
toppick08
Guest
Step mommies for $200 Alex...
"Don't put it out there if you don't like the answer"
twinoaks207
Having Fun!
And the bottom line is still -- a 14 year-old kid is having problems in school (possibly elsewhere) as indicated by falling grades and we know the following:
(Sorry to get on the soapbox but I've seen too many cases where the adults focus on everything but the child when the child is doing everything they can to show there's something going on. Notice I said "show" because kids that age don't "tell". Could someone at least contact the Guidance Counselor at school to see if that adult could help out?)
- Mom knows he doesn't do homework & sometimes lies about schoolwork
- Dad's hoping it all goes away without him doing anything
- Step-mama can't/won't get involved to help
(Sorry to get on the soapbox but I've seen too many cases where the adults focus on everything but the child when the child is doing everything they can to show there's something going on. Notice I said "show" because kids that age don't "tell". Could someone at least contact the Guidance Counselor at school to see if that adult could help out?)
Who ever heard of a 14 year old boy not being interested in school work? That's just crazy.
We actually don't "know" anything other than OP's version of the story. And the way she immediately got defensive and jumped down my throat when I offered my opinion tells me a lot.
But I couldn't care less. Not my life and not my problem. See my av.
twinoaks207
Having Fun!
Who ever heard of a 14 year old boy not being interested in school work? That's just crazy.
We actually don't "know" anything other than OP's version of the story. And the way she immediately got defensive and jumped down my throat when I offered my opinion tells me a lot.
But I couldn't care less. Not my life and not my problem. See my av.
not directly & not now but if, for whatever reason, that young man doesn't get attention & help if he needs it, it WILL be your problem when your taxes and mine pay to support him, either via welfare or jail.
I'm out of this one now, I've just seen too many teenage boys in similar situations over the course of my career and way too many of them were lost because no one had the guts to step up to the plate, especially in split custody families.
Remember, the teens today will be running the country when you and I are old and feeble. It's in our own best interests to make sure that they are well taken care of now and grow up right!
Oh pooh. Just because a 14 year old kid doesn't place high priority on their schoolwork doesn't mean they'll be in jail or on welfare. I'd worry more about some nerd who was a straight A at that age - future serial killer, if you ask me.
Again, my dismal student is now a sterling young man with a bright future. Not every kid with teenage priorities other than classwork needs "help". Honor roll in high school doesn't mean a hill of beans in the real world.
Who ever heard of a 14 year old boy not being interested in school work? That's just crazy.
We actually don't "know" anything other than OP's version of the story. And the way she immediately got defensive and jumped down my throat when I offered my opinion tells me a lot.
But I couldn't care less. Not my life and not my problem. See my av.
Jumping down your throat? Your opinion "step-mommies - butt your big asses out, not your child, not your business, if I don't like s/s then divorce s/o, and stop trying to run off s/s, and how would I feel if it was happening to my child?"
That really doesn't sound very helpful to my request for suggestions to give to my husband to deal with the situation. You made an assumption when you said I was running my s/s off, which we all know what someone is when they make an assumption, right? I was quite mild in replying back to your rude "opinion", in no way did I jump down your throat.
BTW, did your son get mostly D's on his report card, and if he did, what did you do/say? Anything taken away for a period of time, or any type of discipline or did you just let it go?
It's not for lack of trying to help my s/s. During the summer before he started 8th grade, I found a tutor for him to help with math. He was up to his grade level at start of school. When school started, I informed his mom of free tutoring at school in the morning before school started. She didn't feel the need to take him. By the second quarter he had a "D" in math. Even then, she still wouldn't take him to get free tutoring, because s/s complained that it was too early for him to get up.
I'm not here to bash bio's or s/s, my orignial statement asked for suggestions in what to do.
Christy
b*tch rocket
I suggest you butt out. Just because his father married you, that does not make you his mother. He is not your child. It is a far too common mistake step parents make, trying to jump in and and "advise" biological parents on how to better raise their own child. It is not your place to do this and all it will do is cause hate and discontent on all sides.
cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
My oldest son...who is not my husband's child...did horribly in high school. He now has an excellent job in addition to running his own very successful business. I am also a step mother and I couldn't be more proud of my step-daughter. She runs her own business..has two beautiful children and is a wonderful girl. My husband and I also have a son together. Point is..you do what you can when you have the kids..be consistent in your home but you can't CONTROL them..you love them...set a good example and communicate with them..not talk AT them. Teenage years are never easy..there are degrees..some better/some worse. More times than not you get back what you put into them.
You should remember that when you get involved with a person who has children, it's a package deal. You cannot separate the parent from the child and you cannot think of yourself as more important than the child. You cannot expect to come into an existing parent/child relationship and change the parameters...especially if that child is older than say 8-10 years old. And you never compare the step siblings..who's better in school..who is more obedient, etc.
If my ex's SO disparaged MY child on an internet forum, I'd kick her butt. Conversely, if I spoke in a derrogatory manner about my husband's child publicy, I'd expect him to kick my butt.
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Christy
b*tch rocket
This is where most step parents fail. Just because you married their mother or father, does not give you instant respect and authority in their eyes. It is a process of building a relationship, it takes time and it takes patience. You can't just show up on the scene and demand everyone change because you think you know better.
I keep rereading my original statement, and I still don't see where I am speaking in a derrogatory manner about my s/s. I've been in my s/s life for almost 8 years now, and in no way do I feel that I've disrespected him or bio mom by asking for suggestions to give to my husband. That is directly opposite of what I'm trying for. I'm not asking for suggestions for myself to carry out with my s/s, only to give to s/o. I thought that maybe I could receive helpful advice from people on here, because if you look at the statement underneath the headline "Parenting and Children", it states "being a parent is challenging - let's talk about it here". I know there are several parents on here that are in or have been in a blended family, and silly me thought I would ask for help and get helpful suggestions.
And for Twin Oaks, Wenchy, desertrat and sanchezf, thank you for your advice.