schools
- Thread starter stormer41
- Start date
Stormer, if you REALLY want your daughter to be picked on and ostracized, show up at her school. "Ha ha! Susie had to have her MOMMY come fight her battles!"Toxick said:
Nobody picks on a kid just because they're smart. And we've all seen new students come to a school and be the most popular kid overnight, so it's not that. We have a girl at our kids' high school who had cancer and is bald because of chemo - nobody teases this girl, and if anyone did they would face the wrath of the rest of the student body.
Our middle daughter has always been a bag-lady nonconformist with a bad hair day. To top that off, she's somewhat of a nerd, ahead of her age in discussing politics, religion and current events. Yet she could fill our house with party guests by snapping her fingers because she's VERY popular with her peers, and her teachers adore her.
Teens are not as shallow as Hollywood would like you to believe.
So your daughter is provoking this reaction. If I had to make a guess, just based on your posts and my own intuition, I'd say she's feeling defensive because she's the new kid, so she acts like a smarty-pants "I'm better than you" and THAT is what causes her classmates to pick on her. And the teachers are put off by her attitude, so they don't stop the tormenting the way they should because, secretly, they'd like to smack your daughter one as well.
Tell her to chill out. Get her involved in an extracurricular that she's interested in - drama, sports, whatever. Anything to get her involved with the other kids so she'll relax and become accepted as part of the group. Stop her immediately and correct her if she starts rambling about how much smarter she is or how the other kids are just jealous of her. Do not encourage this.
Make sure she is spotlessly clean when she goes to school because kids that age zero in on poor personal hygiene rather than hair styles and clothing. Make sure her teeth are brushed, she is bathed, hair washed and conditioned, feet don't stink, pits deodorized, etc.
We, as parents, don't see these things because we're too close to the situation. But if you took a good objective step back and really looked at your daughter's attitude and appearance, I think you'd know immediately why the other kids pick on her.
vraiblonde said:
Thanks so much doc....I'll get on that problem right away......
For one thing since you seem to think that you know it all....let me straighten this out for you.....
1. Personal hygiene is not the problem here.
2. She doesn't act like a "little miss smarty pants".
3. This only the 2nd time that she has ever made honor roll.
4. She does try to ignore the teasing, but you can only ignore it for so long before you break under pressure.
5. She has went to the principal and also to the teachers...and it still doesn't help.
6. I would never go to her school and sit in on one of her classes. I know people that would do that and I have seen what it can do to a child. My younger half brother went through that with his mother.
7. She doesn't have an attitude problem, but I do. I'm stubborn. She is a very happy kid and tries to be friends with these kids in her class. She seems to get along alot better with the older kids in her school, then with the ones that are her age. The 8th graders tell her that she acts and looks older....she's is tall...5'8" They thought she was 15.
And last.....she is involved with chorus and an after school class: creative writing, and doesn't care for sports.
itsbob
I bowl overhand
I'd have to disagree with VRAI on this one, It's hard to put ALL teengaers into brackets.. MOST teenagers don't kill fellow classmates, but it's happened, because they were tired of being picked on, and nobody doing anything about it.
One of my children had the same problem, and it went largely ignored even after I told the teacher, "You can't ignore it, they (the ones picking on him) will carry it too far, and he will react." Well, a teacher gave him a pencil for doing some homework very well, this pencil was VERY special to him, and when he went to class the boy that had been picking on him took it from him. Why did he take it form him? That's what this kid did, he took my son's pencils and pens prior to class so he would get in trouble for being unprepared for class.
Well, this was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. When the teacher FINALLY reacted, it was to my boy, sitting on the other boys chest, with his hands around his throat. Yelling, "Give me my pencil back." THEN they tried to suspend my son to which I had to get involved. My son wasn't suspended, the bully was, and the bully NEVER picked on him again. Of course the bully insisted he didn't take the pencil, until the my son's story was verified.
SO to say teenagers don't do what she says they are doing is wrong. Kids grow up in different environments, and they are individuals. Why they do what they do is a mystery, and 99% of them are well adjusted, well behaved kids, but if one of your kids gets to be the target of the 1%, then there is no telling where it will go.
Teenagers stabbing each other over hair-do's.. or because you chose to wear the wrong type of sneakers.. you have NO idea what is going through a teenagers head, or what they are likely to do next if you do nothing about it today.
One of my children had the same problem, and it went largely ignored even after I told the teacher, "You can't ignore it, they (the ones picking on him) will carry it too far, and he will react." Well, a teacher gave him a pencil for doing some homework very well, this pencil was VERY special to him, and when he went to class the boy that had been picking on him took it from him. Why did he take it form him? That's what this kid did, he took my son's pencils and pens prior to class so he would get in trouble for being unprepared for class.
Well, this was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. When the teacher FINALLY reacted, it was to my boy, sitting on the other boys chest, with his hands around his throat. Yelling, "Give me my pencil back." THEN they tried to suspend my son to which I had to get involved. My son wasn't suspended, the bully was, and the bully NEVER picked on him again. Of course the bully insisted he didn't take the pencil, until the my son's story was verified.
SO to say teenagers don't do what she says they are doing is wrong. Kids grow up in different environments, and they are individuals. Why they do what they do is a mystery, and 99% of them are well adjusted, well behaved kids, but if one of your kids gets to be the target of the 1%, then there is no telling where it will go.
Teenagers stabbing each other over hair-do's.. or because you chose to wear the wrong type of sneakers.. you have NO idea what is going through a teenagers head, or what they are likely to do next if you do nothing about it today.
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itsbob said:
your right...kids can break under pressure...and I hope that it doesn't come to that with her.
I don't know what happened within a yr...last yr she was friends with all these kids...and now they just constantly pick on her.
She did get suspended from school for 3 days...which I still don't understand why...she didn't do anything wrong.
The school had a general assembly...you know....no assigned seating
3 girls that used to be her friends....told her to move, because she was sitting in one's seat. What it was is there was only 2 seats left in that row and they all could not sit together. The other 2 sat down and the 3rd one stood infront of her and refused to move. Everytime my daughter asked to move...this girl would move her butt closer to my daughters face. When my daughter could stand this no longer, she stood up and pushed this girl out of the way. I think anyone in this situation would have probably done the same. Her 2 friends ran to the nearest teacher and told them that my daughter just hit their friend for no reason....It's really amazing and just blows my mind that no one even saw what happened...even the one's that where laughing the whole time. The girl sitting beside her saw the whole incident lied to the principal about what really happened, because she was scared of these 3 girls...she didn't admit it until my daughter asked her why she didn't stand up for her...they both went to the office and told the principal about the crap that these 3 were pulling on certain ppl. Oh, the talk that the principal had with these 3 girls was really helpful....all it did was make everything worse...Oh and one more thing....my daughter was never given an apology.
Shannie0308
New Member
What school is this?
bcp
In My Opinion
When I was in the 9th grade there was this other guy that just loved to pick on me. I was about 5'10 and 190 at the time, he was over 6' and big.
after a couple months of taking his crap, he walked up behind me in the hall one day, slapped his gum in my hair and said "here, hold this for me"
I lost it, I ran up behind him and right as he turned I jumped up and wrapped my arm around his neck, we both went down to the floor, he cracked his head on the floor when he landed and I just started beating him in the face with my free arm.
I refused to let him up when the teachers ran out to help him, the had to pry me off of him becuase he was starting to turn blue as I squeezed his neck with my arm.
so there I am afterwards in the counslers office,, Harry Calendar was his name, nicknamed the bald eagle for his lack of hair.
He calls my mother tells her that I was in a fight, she says, good, did he win?
figuring that she was of no value in this situation, Harry decided that the best course of action was to put the paddle to my butt, then suspend me.
Understand, I had already lost it, and now was really pissed because I was the one getting in trouble for defending myself after all the BS I put up with.
Soooooo,, I picked up my chair and cracked Calendar across the chest with it, then smacked him with the paddle a few times.
three teachers later I was being escorted out of the school to my mothers waiting car.
after the week long vacation I came back and never again had anyone give me crap again.
It was thought that I was insane and those that would pick on others would steer clear of me. matter of fact, they didnt pick on my friends anymore either.
Now, Im not advising that your issue is worked out in this manner, as the tolorence is much lower these days for students such as myself, but there has to be something that can be done.
Maybe you could call the school without your daughter knowing it and explain the situation and express your fear that she is going to forget her years of training in martial arts and hurt someone. Just ask the school to monitor what is going on so that this does not happen.
If a little lie works it is always better than the method I took.
after a couple months of taking his crap, he walked up behind me in the hall one day, slapped his gum in my hair and said "here, hold this for me"
I lost it, I ran up behind him and right as he turned I jumped up and wrapped my arm around his neck, we both went down to the floor, he cracked his head on the floor when he landed and I just started beating him in the face with my free arm.
I refused to let him up when the teachers ran out to help him, the had to pry me off of him becuase he was starting to turn blue as I squeezed his neck with my arm.
so there I am afterwards in the counslers office,, Harry Calendar was his name, nicknamed the bald eagle for his lack of hair.
He calls my mother tells her that I was in a fight, she says, good, did he win?
figuring that she was of no value in this situation, Harry decided that the best course of action was to put the paddle to my butt, then suspend me.
Understand, I had already lost it, and now was really pissed because I was the one getting in trouble for defending myself after all the BS I put up with.
Soooooo,, I picked up my chair and cracked Calendar across the chest with it, then smacked him with the paddle a few times.
three teachers later I was being escorted out of the school to my mothers waiting car.
after the week long vacation I came back and never again had anyone give me crap again.
It was thought that I was insane and those that would pick on others would steer clear of me. matter of fact, they didnt pick on my friends anymore either.
Now, Im not advising that your issue is worked out in this manner, as the tolorence is much lower these days for students such as myself, but there has to be something that can be done.
Maybe you could call the school without your daughter knowing it and explain the situation and express your fear that she is going to forget her years of training in martial arts and hurt someone. Just ask the school to monitor what is going on so that this does not happen.
If a little lie works it is always better than the method I took.
I didn't mean to imply that your daughter was dirty - I would have no way of knowing that. I was merely suggesting that as something to take a look at.stormer41 said:
I have a grub girl (14) who isn't as conscientious about bathing and teeth brushing as she should be. The other kids don't bother her about this, but my memory from middle and high school is the grubby girls were the ones who got picked on, so I keep on our Em about her personal hygiene constantly. That's the only reason I even brought that up.
You made it sound like ALL the kids are picking on your daughter, not just one bully. So that's where I got the idea that it was something about your daughter as opposed to every other kid in the class. If I'm mistaken, I apologize and consider my advice null and void. I can only go by what you posted.
:shrug:
If the problem is just with a few kids, tell her to ignore them. Easier said than done, I realize, but if she can get her reactions under control, it will serve her well throughout life. There will always be people who want to give you a hard time. The sooner you learn how to deal with them, the better.
If there is physical violence involved, that's a different story. Then you must go to the principal and DEMAND that this stop. File charges if you have to. But if it's just niggling and picking, tell your daughter to ignore these kids and focus on her friends instead.
Nobody ever died from having someone they hate sitting in front of them in an auditorium and it's not worth making a big deal over.
One last thing:
If ignoring them doesn't help, tell her to kick the crap out of the ringleader and take her suspension like a woman. She sits out for a few days, and the problem is over. This happened to me and my Mom was like, "Was beating up that girl worth getting suspended over?" and I said, "Yes." And she replied, "Then there you go. Sometimes it's worth it."
If ignoring them doesn't help, tell her to kick the crap out of the ringleader and take her suspension like a woman. She sits out for a few days, and the problem is over. This happened to me and my Mom was like, "Was beating up that girl worth getting suspended over?" and I said, "Yes." And she replied, "Then there you go. Sometimes it's worth it."
itsbob
I bowl overhand
I knew you'd see the light and come over to my side..vraiblonde said:
I found my future church on TV last night the FLDS.. the church picks out your wiveS, then they have to be submissive to build up their man. All the young men are run out of town so there is always a good ratio of older men to women..(like 10 to 1) and the women provide, make babies, and do the freaky fread as often as the man wants..
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
stormer41 said:
It doesn't sound like she's getting teased for being too smart. Looks like the one who doesn't get along with the kids her age. Not the one who is being picked on. Is it at all possible that she acts as if she's "all that"?
:shrug:
Larry Gude
Strung Out
If I understand your post...
...your suggestion was that if a kid gets picked on 'too much' they should commit mass murder. Is that correct?
What we know about Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris is that their parents were not interested in them; they were outcasts at home.
Any of us who have been to school for more than a few minutes know that it is a place that tends to promote comformity. Call it socializing 101. Part of the idea is to help kids who haven't been taught at home that you can't just do whatever the hell you please with no repurcusions.
vanbells said:
...your suggestion was that if a kid gets picked on 'too much' they should commit mass murder. Is that correct?
What we know about Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris is that their parents were not interested in them; they were outcasts at home.
Any of us who have been to school for more than a few minutes know that it is a place that tends to promote comformity. Call it socializing 101. Part of the idea is to help kids who haven't been taught at home that you can't just do whatever the hell you please with no repurcusions.