Shared Physical Custody

sushisamba · Feb 16, 2006

For those of you who share custody with an ex, does the ex call your home and/or cell on days that he/she is not with the child(ren) to talk to them? If so, do you ALWAYS answer?

Tigerlily · Feb 16, 2006

My ex calls every night to talk to the kids and see how their day went at school. Sometimes I answer other times I just hand the phone to one of them.

Nickel · Feb 16, 2006

sushisamba said:
For those of you who share custody with an ex, does the ex call your home and/or cell on days that he/she is not with the child(ren) to talk to them? If so, do you ALWAYS answer?

My dad used to call our (my mom's) home to talk to us on a regular basis...still does if he knows we'll be in town and at her house. My mom would/does answer the phone if she's closest and will speak to him.

vraiblonde · Feb 16, 2006

We don't share custody with Bebe Mama but she calls all the time. And of course we answer.

Why do you ask?

Calvert newbie · Feb 16, 2006

i have sole custody and ex calls me more than my daughter (i wish it was the other way around)

sushisamba · Feb 16, 2006

vraiblonde said:
We don't share custody with Bebe Mama but she calls all the time. And of course we answer.

Why do you ask?

Because my ex calls on the nights the children are with me and if I don't answer, he questions me the next time we do speak and asks did I see him call and why didn't I answer. The reality of divorce when children are involved is that you give up 24/7 access to them. He has his days with them, I have mine and I don't like mine interrupted by him.

sushisamba · Feb 16, 2006

Calvert newbie said:
i have sole custody and ex calls me more than my daughter (i wish it was the other way around)

If you have sole custody, why would your daughter have to call you?

MysticalMom · Feb 16, 2006

I say let them man talk to his kids. What's it take all of 5 minutes?

Don't sweat the small stuff. :yay:

Calvert newbie · Feb 16, 2006

i meant i wish my ex would call my daughter instead of me and i always answer if i see her number

Tigerlily · Feb 16, 2006

MysticalMom said:
I say let them man talk to his kids. What's it take all of 5 minutes?

Don't sweat the small stuff.

I agree with you completely. I can't stand my ex but they our his kids too and I would never try to tell him to not be involved in their lives.

Sharon · Feb 16, 2006

sushisamba said:
He has his days with them, I have mine and I don't like mine interrupted by him.

Do you like it when the children call you from his place (when he has them) or do you prefer not to be interrupted then also?

MysticalMom · Feb 16, 2006

Tigerlily said:
I agree with you completely. I can't stand my ex but they our his kids too and I would never try to tell him to not be involved in their lives.

Exactly.

Nickel · Feb 16, 2006

sushisamba said:
Because my ex calls on the nights the children are with me and if I don't answer, he questions me the next time we do speak and asks did I see him call and why didn't I answer. The reality of divorce when children are involved is that you give up 24/7 access to them. He has his days with them, I have mine and I don't like mine interrupted by him.

Not to sound rude, but they're his kids too. You should consider yourself lucky that he cares enough to speak to them on the phone.

sushisamba · Feb 16, 2006

Sharon said:
Do you like it when the children call you from his place (when he has them) or do you prefer not to be interrupted then also?

I love when they call me. But that's my point, they aren't ASKING to call him when they're with me, he's calling.

Calvert newbie · Feb 16, 2006

Nickel said:
Not to sound rude, but they're his kids too. You should consider yourself lucky that he cares enough to speak to them on the phone.

very true i know alot of fathers who have next to no contact with kids

sushisamba · Feb 16, 2006

Nickel said:
Not to sound rude, but they're his kids too. You should consider yourself lucky that he cares enough to speak to them on the phone.

I don't think that's what he cares about. As when we were married, I believe its a control issue. He's hoping my fiance is with me and he's trying to mark his territory. It's immature and annoying behavior.

Nickel · Feb 16, 2006

sushisamba said:
I don't think that's what he cares about. As when we were married, I believe its a control issue. He's hoping my fiance is with me and he's trying to mark his territory. It's immature and annoying behavior.

Who cares? Answer the phone and hand it to one of your kids.

bresamil · Feb 16, 2006

Nickel said:
Who cares? Answer the phone and hand it to one of your kids.

Yep. And don't feel bad. You're not the only one. My ex is remarried and still calls and sends emails - many that have nothing to do with the kids. I have no trouble staying impersonal on anything except kid topics.

sushisamba · Feb 16, 2006

Thanks for the suggestions, all!

onebdzee · Feb 16, 2006

Nickel said:
Who cares? Answer the phone and hand it to one of your kids.

You don't have to talk to him at all

When you don't answer the phone, the next time he gets the kids he might mention that he called and that no one answered....if they are old enough to figure out that when he called someone was there to answer the phone and didn't, you might have to answer some questions from them

And might I add....at least he care enough to call

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