Shared Physical Custody

sushisamba · Feb 16, 2006

onebdzee said:
You don't have to talk to him at all

When you don't answer the phone, the next time he gets the kids he might mention that he called and that no one answered....if they are old enough to figure out that when he called someone was there to answer the phone and didn't, you might have to answer some questions from them

And might I add....at least he care enough to call

True. But it's mostly on my cell phone when we're going somewhere or are trying to get dinner and homework done. It's always at very inconvenient times.

Nickel · Feb 16, 2006

sushisamba said:
True. But it's mostly on my cell phone when we're going somewhere or are trying to get dinner and homework done. It's always at very inconvenient times.

He is probably just being an ass, but having gone through this as a young'n let me give you a different perspective. My dad used to call (I'm sure for awhile it was to find out what my mom was doing, stuff like that) and she'd answer and hand us the phone, or yell out that our dad was calling and to pick up the phone. If we didn't get it in time, we'd call him right back. It limited contact between them during the weird stages of their new divorce, and allowed us to talk to our dad. 12 years and lots of drama later, we both have good relationships with our dad, and oddly enough, my mom and dad have a good relationship with each other, and tell people they are better friends now than when they were married. :yay:

MDTerps · Feb 16, 2006

When my son is with me he calls his dad at 730. When he is with his dad he calls me at 730. If I know my son is ill I'll call him before or after that time just to check in. Or if I'm not going to be near a phone at 730, I'll phone him so that I can talk to him. I speak to him everyday he is not with me. That's how it will stay! Same goes with his dad, he will speak with our son everyday he is not with his dad, it will stay that way. My ex and I don't see eye to eye on alot of things but we make the best of it for our son! He comes first in all situations!

crabcake · Feb 16, 2006

sushisamba said:
Because my ex calls on the nights the children are with me and if I don't answer, he questions me the next time we do speak and asks did I see him call and why didn't I answer. The reality of divorce when children are involved is that you give up 24/7 access to them. He has his days with them, I have mine and I don't like mine interrupted by him.

Why would he call on the nights he does have them?

You expect him to go two weeks until he sees them again to hear their voice ... ask about their day ... tell them he loves them? :shrug:

I'd be a little pissed if I tried to call my ex for an issue relating to our daughter and he repeatedly didn't answer. What if it was an emergency? You don't know till you answer. If it's inconvenient, you simply say, "John, I'll have the kids call you when we get home. This is my cell phone and I don't want to burn up my minutes." Or "John, we're eating dinner right now, can they call you back after they finish?" :shrug:

The other "reality" of divorce is two people who used to have 24/7 access to their kids and now they don't. Grow up and quit punishing the kids and hurting their relationship with their father b/c you don't want to be "inconvenienced" or "interrupted" by someone you are clearly scorned by. It's not like you're answering the phone in the middle of sex ... or are you? :lmao:

onebdzee · Feb 16, 2006

crabcake said:
Grow up and quit punishing the kids and hurting their relationship with their father b/c you don't want to be "inconvenienced" or "interrupted" by someone you are clearly scorned by.

If you continue to do this they might possibly think that you are trying to "drive a wedge" between them and their father....and they could possibly hold that against you

sushisamba · Feb 17, 2006

crabcake said:
Why would he call on the nights he does have them? You expect him to go two weeks until he sees them again to hear their voice ... ask about their day ... tell them he loves them? :shrug:

The other "reality" of divorce is two people who used to have 24/7 access to their kids and now they don't. Grow up and quit punishing the kids and hurting their relationship with their father b/c you don't want to be "inconvenienced" or "interrupted" by someone you are clearly scorned by. It's not like you're answering the phone in the middle of sex ... or are you?

The max he goes without seeing them is 2 days. We share custody 50/50. THAT'S why it's ridiculous that he calls.

RoseRed · Feb 17, 2006

sushisamba said:
The max he goes without seeing them is 2 days. We share custody 50/50. THAT'S why it's ridiculous that he calls.

I can't believe that you have an issue with him calling his kids. Now if he wasn't calling them, would you ##### about that too?

bresamil · Feb 17, 2006

sushisamba said:
The max he goes without seeing them is 2 days. We share custody 50/50. THAT'S why it's ridiculous that he calls.

I have to disagree. The most well adjusted children from divorce are those that have daily contact with both parents.

sushisamba · Feb 17, 2006

RoseRed said:
I can't believe that you have an issue with him calling his kids. Now if he wasn't calling them, would you ##### about that too?

Not at all. Quite frankly, I'd prefer it if I never had to see or hear his voice again.

CMC122 · Feb 17, 2006

sushisamba said:
Not at all. Quite frankly, I'd prefer it if I never had to see or hear his voice again.

Well it's not all about you now is it?

kwillia · Feb 17, 2006

sushisamba said:
Not at all. Quite frankly, I'd prefer it if I never had to see or hear his voice again.

Get over it. He is the father of your children. He will always be the father of your children. As long as your children are in your life, he will forever be in your life. Deal with it.

MysticalMom · Feb 17, 2006

CMC122 said:
Well it's not all about you now is it?

Don't let your animosity towards him interfere with his realtionship with the kids. That's just wrong.

Pete · Feb 17, 2006

RoseRed · Feb 17, 2006

sushisamba said:
Not at all. Quite frankly, I'd prefer it if I never had to see or hear his voice again.

You have issues. I hope your kids don't inherit your neurosis.

bresamil · Feb 17, 2006

Pete said:

You my dear are a rare case. Your divorce happened within the first year of Boy's life and you have custody. Boy never really got used to having a 2 parent household, so he is very well adjusted with not seeing/hearing from his mom for a few days. And you've never denied her access to Boy regardless of her behavior towards you. Boy is lucky and so is your ex, that you've risen way above the pettiness and your personal feelings, to put his emotional welfare first.

RoseRed · Feb 17, 2006

bresamil said:
You my dear are a rare case. Your divorce happened within the first year of Boy's life and you have custody. Boy never really got used to having a 2 parent household, so he is very well adjusted with not seeing/hearing from his mom for a few days. And you've never denied her access to Boy regardless of her behavior towards you. Boy is lucky and so is your ex, that you've risen way above the pettiness and your personal feelings, to put his emotional welfare first.

bresamil · Feb 17, 2006

sushisamba said:
Not at all. Quite frankly, I'd prefer it if I never had to see or hear his voice again.

There must be more to the story for you to feel this way. Was the split recent? Was there abuse involved? Was there cheating? These are normally the causes of bitterness. There are those on here that have gone through that stage and risen above it.

Chasey_Lane · Feb 17, 2006

sushisamba said:
Because my ex calls on the nights the children are with me and if I don't answer, he questions me the next time we do speak and asks did I see him call and why didn't I answer. The reality of divorce when children are involved is that you give up 24/7 access to them. He has his days with them, I have mine and I don't like mine interrupted by him.

Wow! You denying your ex his children is beyond pathetic and childish. Regardless of your "my time/his time" schedule, he should be able to at least speak to them, ask how their day was, etc. You're playing a very selfish role, and if you don't watch out, your children will learn your controlling behavior and will *possibly* resent the fact you kept them from their father.

sushisamba · Feb 17, 2006

RoseRed said:
You have issues. I hope your kids don't inherit your neurosis.

Look, I could've taken him to court and fought for sole custody but I didn't because the children deserve to have a relationship with their father. Unfortunately for me, on the days that I am trying to nurture my relationship with them, he calls. The fact that you don't see a problem with that astounds me. He's insecure and immature and tries to turn my quality time with my children into being all about him. If they aren't asking to talk to him, why can't I enjoy my time without the constant reminder that he is their father? Is that really too much to ask?

Wickedwrench · Feb 17, 2006

I'm not getting in the middle of this one. :ohwell:

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