Here's the meme:
Thoughts?
Thoughts?
Should parents have to pay for their kids' weddings?
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
TPD
the poor dad
Tradition in my family is the bride's parents pay for the "day of wedding" celebration, within reason. Meaning a buffet meal for 150-200 guests cooked by the women's auxiliary at the local fire department, followed by a local band or DJ, DJ being the preference if there is one in the family that is cheap/free. Oh yeah - open bar as well with a couple of kegs and Uncle Joe's favorite liquor and Aunt Mary's favorite wine.
I've only got one kid, a daughter, so I guess I'm paying for a wedding if she marries before I die. But there will be a limit - $5,000. $10k if it's something I like...
I've only got one kid, a daughter, so I guess I'm paying for a wedding if she marries before I die. But there will be a limit - $5,000. $10k if it's something I like...
AnthonyJames
R.I.P. My Brother Rick
I'd throw them a kegger.
Considering like half of all marriages end in divorce, I can see why parents wouldn't want to pony up thousand$$$ for a big splashy wedding. With my son, I paid for their honeymoon - a week at Caesar's Pocono Resort (yes, in the Champagne Tower, and stop that laughing - it was the bride's dream honeymoon), and a week in NYC.
kwillia
n/a
Anything parents put up should be appreciated but not expected. Wedding should be as elaborate as the budget allows. Honeymoon is as elaborate as budget allows. The budget is based on how much money the couple saved along with what They can afford to finance. If parents choose to contribute, it is extra.
My husband and I paid for all of our wedding and honeymoon by ourselves. I never had any expectation of having my wedding paid for by anyone other than myself and the man I would marry.
My girls know that we may help with some aspect of their weddings, but are not providing the whole sh'bang for them.
My girls know that we may help with some aspect of their weddings, but are not providing the whole sh'bang for them.
kwillia
n/a
I am assuming you and DidWhat chose to and not that you did it because your daughter demanded it. I think that is the point of this thread.
Oh.
Yes we chose too.
Tradition I've always followed (three daughters, two sons) - parents of the bride pay all costs for the wedding and reception (wedding is ceremony, photographer, flowers, etc.) and parents of the groom pay bar tab and all rehearsal dinner costs. Honeymoon is for the wedding couple to pay for, so start saving early if you want that trip to space on the Musk Mobile.
That's what people used to call my 1969 Opel Kadett. I never could get the smell completely out.
frequentflier
happy to be living
We don't have children so it will never be an issue for us. However, given that most people live together before getting married, I see no point in big elaborate weddings that cost a $hit ton of money. They are already living together and I am assuming are established as a couple.
And as Vrai pointed out, so many marriages result in divorce so why bother?
My husband and I married in our 40's- 1st time for both of us. 20 years ago March 3, we went to a chapel in Vegas and sent an announcement to our families. I never ever dreamed of "walking down the aisle" in a flowing white dress with bridesmaids in a church (or elsewhere for that matter!) and all that jazz. The wedding industry is a huge and profitable business. I guess many people care about the tradition. I don't.
And as Vrai pointed out, so many marriages result in divorce so why bother?
My husband and I married in our 40's- 1st time for both of us. 20 years ago March 3, we went to a chapel in Vegas and sent an announcement to our families. I never ever dreamed of "walking down the aisle" in a flowing white dress with bridesmaids in a church (or elsewhere for that matter!) and all that jazz. The wedding industry is a huge and profitable business. I guess many people care about the tradition. I don't.
lucky_bee
RBF expert
Parents paid for mine because they wanted to. Had they not offered, we would've eloped. Husband already did the local courthouse here when he was 20 
my only requirement was anything but that. Ended up being about 20K for 120 people, most of that was just the venue TBH - I scrimped and bargained on everything else. Even if it wasn't my money, I wasn't wasteful with it. My in-laws insisted on helping with the rehearsal dinner. I'd rather they didn't, I know it took some saving for them, but they insisted because of pride and tradition.
Nine months later, my parents paid another 12k-ish for my younger brother's wedding. They could, so they did. My parents had been saving, and never once did any of us expect it. I'm truly blessed with them - they give an awful lot to us kids and I'd do anything for them. All they asked for was grandkids to continue to spoil - and soon enough they'll have 4 - I have bubba, and my brother is about to add twins to his other one.
It was more of a family obligation to have a bigger wedding - but my parents would have been fine with whatever we wanted. I felt obligated as the eldest grandchild, the only granddaughter, and only daughter. There hadn't been any weddings in the family for several decades before mine. It was more an opportunity to have a huge family party. I'm glad I did it - my wedding was ****ing amazing, however if I'd known my brother was going to have a big wedding too, so soon after mine I might have gone with that elopement
my only requirement was anything but that. Ended up being about 20K for 120 people, most of that was just the venue TBH - I scrimped and bargained on everything else. Even if it wasn't my money, I wasn't wasteful with it. My in-laws insisted on helping with the rehearsal dinner. I'd rather they didn't, I know it took some saving for them, but they insisted because of pride and tradition. Nine months later, my parents paid another 12k-ish for my younger brother's wedding. They could, so they did. My parents had been saving, and never once did any of us expect it. I'm truly blessed with them - they give an awful lot to us kids and I'd do anything for them. All they asked for was grandkids to continue to spoil - and soon enough they'll have 4 - I have bubba, and my brother is about to add twins to his other one.
It was more of a family obligation to have a bigger wedding - but my parents would have been fine with whatever we wanted. I felt obligated as the eldest grandchild, the only granddaughter, and only daughter. There hadn't been any weddings in the family for several decades before mine. It was more an opportunity to have a huge family party. I'm glad I did it - my wedding was ****ing amazing, however if I'd known my brother was going to have a big wedding too, so soon after mine I might have gone with that elopement
jrt_ms1995
Well-Known Member
You got out relatively cheap!
jrt_ms1995
Well-Known Member
I think this person is, gender-dependent, a b*tch or an a**hole, and would best be avoided by everyone including the fiance and potential future in-laws.
BadGirl
I am so very blessed
My "wedding" was at the court house, and afterwards, 20 family and friends went to lunch at Salsa's. All told, we spent $250, which included the food, tip and the marriage license. And I am still delightfully (?!?!?!) married to @itsbob.
Would I pay for the kid's weddings? Probably not. One kid did the courthouse/Salsa's thing, and we picked up the lunch costs. Another kid did a private covid/courthouse thing, and we didn't know of it until weeks later. And another kid did the courthouse thing (twice!), and I didn't even go to those events.
Would I pay for the kid's weddings? Probably not. One kid did the courthouse/Salsa's thing, and we picked up the lunch costs. Another kid did a private covid/courthouse thing, and we didn't know of it until weeks later. And another kid did the courthouse thing (twice!), and I didn't even go to those events.