bulldog
New Member
So, at what age do we stop the group invites?
social mores: b'day party invites?
- Thread starter foxxynhounds
- Start date
So, at what age do we stop the group invites?
Middle school. That's about the time kids turn into aholes anyway.
bulldog
New Member
And then we quit inviting certain kids who have been invited for the last several years.
By then social circles have expanded and shifted, and birthday parties aren't such a big deal anymore.
You know, this was never about the nerd kid. It's not my job to teach someone else's child resilience and intestinal fortitude. But it WAS my job to teach MY kids compassion and generosity. They didn't learn that by being allowed to be ####heads.
bulldog
New Member
I'm sorry if you're getting upset. Not my intent, at all.
My kids, (26 and 24) are both very well adjusted, compassionate (almost to a fault) and generous. However, they were never allowed to be fake and they certainly were not allowed to be dickheads about it.
I'm not upset at all. My kids are adults with kids of their own, so my days of worrying about this stuff are OVER.
MarieB
New Member
Not that I'm aware of. You just can't send invitations to school unless you are inviting the entire class. I thought that they had actually decided to not allow any invitations, and I wasn't aware that they changed their minds on that policy. Maybe it depends upon the school
MarieB
New Member
Kids have their whole lives to learn to deal with rejection. I don't want that lesson for some little kid to be on my karma. Or my conscience.
I think I agree with you on this one, not that you should feel as though you have to invite the whole class, but it would suck to not invite only a few.
We haven't had a party for a few years, but I think this year we will have one with just 2 or 3 other kids
foxxynhounds
Member
My kids are sometimes sad that they DON'T get invited to a party. We talk about that and I help them learn and move on. IMO, another child telling them about a party, but not expressing an invite, while possibly bumming my children out, is not an issue. They don't need to be invited to everything.
In this situation (and in response to your other post), they were invited, uninvited, and not told about it. Yes, it was a learning experience. My daughters learned about what it means to keep your word, and how it feels when someone doesn't. But I don't think that means that it wasn't rude, I shouldn't be annoyed, and my daughters shouldn't be hurt. This all could have been avoided - 1) by not sharing plans until they were finalized; 2) by letting me know plans had changed after they were shared; 3) by telling the b'day girl not to tell children who were not invited that they were invited. There was no reason for this.
And yes, my daughters were upset. They were told about how much fun they'd have...and *I* had to break it to them that they weren't actually invited, after I didn't even tell them in the first place!!!
ZARA
Registered User
My son has had 2 big birthday parties in his life where I allowed him to invite classmates. Once when he turned 10 and it was a bowling party and when he turned 18. All of his other bdays I only allowed him to invite his best friend, family and friends of the family only. But for us, bdays are special and are to be spent with people that love you.
ZARA
Registered User
This right here!! This is how I am and it's a good thing. There has been MANY times when people say something and then they do not follow through. That is something that pisses me off to no end. It is the equivalent of lying.
CaneCorso
Member
Doubt Mom was that stupid but I bet she thought me and my friends were camping fools in High School ahh the benefits of growing up in BFE....
