Temporary Separations

K

Kain99

Guest
I've never been a big believer in temporary separations... I have a friend who has decided to have no contact with her signficant other for a period of one week.

What can be gained by this? Is it a dumb thing to do or smart to give each other some breathing room?
 

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
Kain99 said:
I've never been a big believer in temporary separations... I have a friend who has decided to have no contact with her signficant other for a period of one week.

What can be gained by this? Is it a dumb thing to do or smart to give each other some breathing room?

I think it would depend on the reason for the separation. If one of them is so fed up they're ready to kill the other, than a cooling off period is a good idea. Back away and start thinking again so you can approach the problems rationally.
 

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
Mikeinsmd said:
She can get a lil on the side and it won't be cheating.... :jet:
Ross/Rachel/break/not good. I've seen that fiasco more often in real life than on TV - and with much worse outcomes.
 
IMO, if a couple is to the point that they are able to agree to this, one week is not long enough. I would think one month would be better. I think the purpose of such a trial separation would be so that each can have opportunity to reflect on what the other brings to the relationship. By the end of the trial period, it should be clearer as to whether or not the little aggravations in the relationship are worth the companionship. What is more important… that you get to sleep thru the night without listening to him/her snoring or that you can rollover in the night and throw your arm across a warm body? What is more important… that there is less laundry and dishes to clean up after or that there is someone that acknowledges you when you come home each evening? The little stuff like that becomes obvious during a trial separation. The other thing that could come about from this is the fact that the couple could start “dating” and “wooing” each other again. The reattachment after a trial separation could actually rekindle the relationship and make it as strong and romantic as it was in the beginning. Of course, another option would be for them to agree the relationship is dead, but if they are in agreement, it’s not a bad thing. The down side would be for one of them to realize the relationship really is dead and the other to realize he/she wants it to rekindle… :dead:
 

Mikeinsmd

New Member
bresamil said:
Ross/Rachel/break/not good. I've seen that fiasco more often in real life than on TV - and with much worse outcomes.
Come to Mikey, we'll show em how it's done... :huggy:
 

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
Mikeinsmd said:
Come to Mikey, we'll show em how it's done... :huggy:
:lmao: If we were supposed to take a shot at it, we'd have done more than nod at each other when I lived on your street.
 

Llwynog

Thats Welsh for fox.
My grandparents had a temporary separation when my dad was about 9 and didn't part again until grandpa died 30+ years later.
 

Mikeinsmd

New Member
bresamil said:
:lmao: If we were supposed to take a shot at it, we'd have done more than nod at each other when I lived on your street.
Hey!!!!! You never said you lived on my STREET!!! :yikes:
 

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
Mikeinsmd said:
Damn, was I oogling ya?? :lol: Ya didn't hafta move yanno. You live down by my brother now.
I thought he was on A-N? :confused:

And no, you didn't ogle. :lmao: I was always surrounded by kids and walking my black lab. I think you felt sorry for me if anything.
 

crabcake

But wait, there's more...
Kain99 said:
I've never been a big believer in temporary separations... I have a friend who has decided to have no contact with her signficant other for a period of one week.

What can be gained by this? Is it a dumb thing to do or smart to give each other some breathing room?
Depends on the reasons and rules. Generally speaking, I wouldn't think 1 week is long enough, though. :shrug:
 

danceintherain

New Member
If both parties are in agreement with the trial seperation then it may be worth a try. I would give it 30 days. Then try atleast 3 sessions with a marriage/couples counselor.
 

jwwb2000

pretty black roses
kwillia said:
IMO, if a couple is to the point that they are able to agree to this, one week is not long enough. I would think one month would be better. I think the purpose of such a trial separation would be so that each can have opportunity to reflect on what the other brings to the relationship. By the end of the trial period, it should be clearer as to whether or not the little aggravations in the relationship are worth the companionship. What is more important… that you get to sleep thru the night without listening to him/her snoring or that you can rollover in the night and throw your arm across a warm body? What is more important… that there is less laundry and dishes to clean up after or that there is someone that acknowledges you when you come home each evening? The little stuff like that becomes obvious during a trial separation. The other thing that could come about from this is the fact that the couple could start “dating” and “wooing” each other again. The reattachment after a trial separation could actually rekindle the relationship and make it as strong and romantic as it was in the beginning. Of course, another option would be for them to agree the relationship is dead, but if they are in agreement, it’s not a bad thing. The down side would be for one of them to realize the relationship really is dead and the other to realize he/she wants it to rekindle… :dead:

Very well said.
 

Mikeinsmd

New Member
bresamil said:
I thought he was on A-N? :confused: And no, you didn't ogle. :lmao: I was always surrounded by kids and walking my black lab. I think you felt sorry for me if anything.
He's on Golf Course..... behind the net.

Hmmmm..... Wish I could remember that far back. I think I had a GF then.
 

BadGirl

I am so very blessed
I think separations are a great idea. The "welcome home" celebrations are great, and the separations makes me realize just how much I miss the big ole' lute.
 
Top