Today's Dr Phil
- Thread starter RareBreed
- Start date
hvp05
Methodically disorganized
I read her post in less than 1 minute. You must be slow, but that's okay.
She said this twice...
I don't have a problem with the hot sause or cold showers. My point is that it's not working yet she keeps doing it, thinking she'd get a different result. It was more of areaction more than a "what a mean mom" reaction.
A little google can go a long way.
I think a little humiliation could work. Make them do yardwork while wearing a sandwich board that says, "This is my punishment for ________."
Of course, certain courts have ruled such treatment "abusive" 
rolleyes so another approach may be necessary.
Roberta
OLD WISE ONE
I read her post in less than 1 minute. You must be slow, but that's okay.
I guess I should have quoted the first post also for people that have no reading retention. So here goes:
Today's Dr Phil
I've watched 5 minutes of it and have burst into tears. This mom is completely over the top in disciplining her child. Hot sause and cold showers for lying and getting into trouble at school. She is going off on her 7 year old and the poor kid is crying hysterically. I couldn't take watching it anymore but I'd love to see Dr Phil hand this mom her a$$.
No offense, but I think it's you that's slow, dude.
Hello?
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
.
P.S.A. If you really wanna piss your kids off, if they wont stop arguing and fighting with each other... you set them on the couch and make them hold hands for 10 minutes
Love it!!!
Why do you feel that way - because the child was crying?
That's a real question, I didn't watch the show so can't make a judgment call. Also Larry's sister used to put a dab of hot sauce (Tabasco, not habanero) on her daughter's tongue when she was being lippy. This is when the child was maybe 3 or so. Didn't injure her, and I thought that was a very creative and effective punishment.
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
Well, the child was crying, but it wasn't a "normal" I'm-in-trouble cry, it was a hysterical cry. The woman made him swish hot sauce in his mouth for several minutes, and the whole time the boy was doing the really hard cry where he couldn't catch his breath. She did the hot sauce because he lied about getting a warning in school. Then, because he got a warning (or two warnings?) in school, she made him get in the cold shower for several more minutes. He was sobbing uncontrollably at that point.
The real issue I had with her is that she said she wanted help and she knew her methods weren't working (because she was constantly having to punish the boy), but she didn't show one ounce of emotion. Not one tear or frown. She had a blank stare the entire time. She really acted like she didn't like the child at all and kept comparing him to his brother.
THe boy was adopted from Russia, so Dr. Phil offered testing (all kinds of testing, from heavy metal toxicity to mental disorders) to help this woman figure out if there is actually a problem/disease or if it was truly just behavioral.
IMO, the woman crossed the line between discipline and abuse. AND, if you keep doing the same punishment over and over with no change in behavior, maybe you should change your methods! It just seemed like it was a very angry household and I can't imagine that will help a 7 yr old adopted boy's behavior, especially if his adoptive mom is always causing him pain like that.
And don't think I'm saying kids shouldn't be punished. Obviously I don't think that, but this was over the top and it wasn't working.
RareBreed
Throwing the deuces
Yep, you definitely had to watch it to see what I was talking about. I guess I should have waited to start the thread because it got a lot of responses based on the discipline instead of in the context of the show. Plus my initial post was hurried and not very detailed which caused the confusion as well.
Thanks!
I'm not excusing the woman's behavior BUT.....
I'm really annoyed by the Mommies of the World in the audience and their self-righteous blasting of this woman. Clearly doesn't know what else to do. Clearly she doesn't like what she *is* doing, or she wouldn't have sent the video to Dr. Phil. It would be nice for them to show her some constructive compassion.
I remember quite well getting so frustrated with my kids that I lost it. And you do have to tell them something repeatedly - I've never known a kid ever who stopped a behavior after being told or punished one time. I should have a nickel for every time I had to tell a kid to go brush their teeth, and PS, I'm going to smell their breath after so no faking. You have to keep on them and it is constant, no matter what punishment you dole out. Their brain hasn't fused yet and they have no real retention.
I don't know as I'd call what I saw with this woman "abuse". The child isn't physically injured, just uncomfortable. Sort of like waterboarding.
But obviously she needs to learn better coping and discipline skills. Her blank look tells me that she is a longtime represser of emotion - possibly a childhood abuse victim herself. Just from the clip, and even when she's punishing the kid, she seems uber-tight controlled, almost robotic - not out of control at all. So she needs deep therapy, not just one session on Dr. Phil, who's so smug and self-righteous he makes me want to fill his mouth with hot sauce and stick him in a cold shower.
cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
We used to get our butt spanked with the orange hotwheels track.
That's one my dad never thought of..and we had miles of that in our house. We got the metal end of the flyswatter.
Nanny Pam
************
"The Home Depot beating"
one day, my grand-son was really bad in Home Depot. He was about 4 then. My son spanked him, right in the store. G-son was really embarrassed.
Well....G-son is 12 now. and to this day, all Ed has to do is say..."you bucking for another Home Depot beating?"
I saw the show too, and I really didn't thing that the Mom was over the top.
Any kid will scream and cry at the drop of a dime. Mom was doing what she needed to do. JMHO
one day, my grand-son was really bad in Home Depot. He was about 4 then. My son spanked him, right in the store. G-son was really embarrassed.
Well....G-son is 12 now. and to this day, all Ed has to do is say..."you bucking for another Home Depot beating?"
I saw the show too, and I really didn't thing that the Mom was over the top.
Any kid will scream and cry at the drop of a dime. Mom was doing what she needed to do. JMHO
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
Nah, she's an INTJ personality and no amount of therapy in the world will change that. You can tell by her thousand yard stare and the fact that she is trying to reason with a child. I seriously doubt she's an abuse victim.
cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
It's no wonder I'm a therapy. My mother put this awful hot stuff on my thumb and fingers on my right hand to keep me from sucking my thumb...I was about 4. Well, I picked my butt...
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
I threw a bowl of Ramen at the wall when Alex was 14 or 15 and giving me incessant crap about something. I did manage to not throw the bowl directly at her, but just barely.
The bowl hit the wall and she scurried to go do the task I'd assigned her that she was arguing about. So apparently throwing ramen for punishment works. Should have done that first.
The bowl hit the wall and she scurried to go do the task I'd assigned her that she was arguing about. So apparently throwing ramen for punishment works. Should have done that first.
Nanny Pam
************
I'll go for that
Just to me she seemed detached, like there's a real demon just below the surface that she's trying desperately to keep under control.