Un-contradicting yourself

[AMP]

OK, I will probably regret posting this, but I can't resist, I need some advice quick. This falls under "Stupid Stuff I Have Done" list.

What do you do when you know you are happy as is - love my job love my house, love my life, single again, with my small child, on my own. No exclusive relationships. And you know this is all good. Then someone comes along and you click, but he is in the same boat - just out of a long term relationship, just looking for friendship/casual dates. Then during the second week your heart, which has always been incredibly stupid, speaks up, and out loud unfortunately, and lets him know you like him alot. He dosn't exactly pull back, but is kind about restating what we both already said. After you have given yourself the whole "how could I be this stupid" talk, you don't know HOW to fix this. But you want to because this guy is just really great in many ways, even if you don't see/talk to him often due to opposite schedules.

How DO you fix this without the guy wondering if you are someone he should not be involved with because you can't make up your mind? I sent a text message saying sorry for the weirdness, let's get together again when we have time. And left it at that.

OK, guys, what's HE thinking? (Besides that "her boobs are big enough to overlook all this.")

 

[rack'm]

Back off, give him his space and see where it goes..........pushing will only make him walk.

Good luck.

 

[bresamil]

Back off, give him his space and see where it goes..........pushing will only make him walk.

Good luck.

Balls in his court. If he wants to see you again, he will.

 

[Tigerlily]

Treat him like the Plague that always seems to get them to come back around. We all seem to want what we can't have.

 

[migtig]

I ain't a guy, but here's my 2 cents anyway - you should never have to restrain or hide your actual emotions and feelings in any relationship, friendship, dating or otherwise. Otherwise it's very unhealthy. Take it from somebody who has had a lot of unhealthy relationships. Accept your feelings and don't hide from them, but be willing to allow for the fact that he may or might have already moved on. If that's the case, it wasn't meant to be anyway.

 

[tlatchaw]

Treat him like the Plague that always seems to get them to come back around. We all seem to want what we can't have.

:

All I've ever done is ignore you and you act like I don't even exist! Maybe I should ignore you louder? j/k

I think that there's a real element of truth to what you just said. "Back in the day" when I was dating I couldn't get any love 'n' attention if I showed I was interested in a girl. But if I ignored her or acted like "just friends" it was Katie bar the door, here comes that girl again!

Back off some and see what happens.

 

[K_Jo]

Back off, give him his space and see where it goes..........pushing will only make him walk.

Good luck.

Men are very fragile beings.

 

[rack'm]

Men are very fragile beings.

So many women forget that we’re human too…..yet, when we show our emotions, most then complain that we’re soft.

Mother Nature is a cruel B!tch.

 

[Tigerlily]

:

All I've ever done is ignore you and you act like I don't even exist! Maybe I should ignore you louder? j/k

I think that there's a real element of truth to what you just said. "Back in the day" when I was dating I couldn't get any love 'n' attention if I showed I was interested in a girl. But if I ignored her or acted like "just friends" it was Katie bar the door, here comes that girl again!

Back off some and see what happens.

Well your back in the day rings loud and true to this day. I know from personal experience. The moment I tell a guy" Look I just want to hang out and have fun " they become like glue calling and showing up wherever I go.

 

[crabcake]

So many women forget that we’re human too…..yet, when we show our emotions, most then complain that we’re soft.

It's not your emotions we're talking about.




I agree w/ rackm's first post ... give him space.

 

[K_Jo]

So many women forget that we’re human too…..yet, when we show our emotions, most then complain that we’re soft.

Mother Nature is a cruel B!tch.

Of course we complain. What good are you in that condition? :shrug:


Of course I was lucky enough to marry the most wonderful combination of tough and tender. Did I mention how handsome he is? And his great sense of humor?

Can we move this discussion to a private forum?

 

[K_Jo]

I agree w/ rackm's first post ... give him space.

I do, too, but he's so much fun to #### with.

 

[aps45819]

OK, guys, what's HE thinking? (Besides that "her boobs are big enough to overlook all this.")

Since he's expressed his desire not to jump into another exclusive relationship, the back off advice is good.
OR....
Tell him you're going to Victoria's Secret and you'd like him to go with you for his opinion on what to purchase.
Play to your strengths

 

[AMP]

So much great advice - this is SO what I needed right now! OK, so "back off" seems to be the general consensus. Cool. And I have a feeling he will come around, I just regret opening my mouth and in the past managed to blow it out of proportion. I want this to blow over so I can get back to casually dating him.

 

[AMP]

Tell him you're going to Victoria's Secret and you'd like him to go with you for his opinion on what to purchase.
Play to your strengths

I'm learning to...

 

[rack'm]

Tell him you're going to Victoria's Secret and you'd like him to go with you for his opinion on what to purchase.
Play to your strengths

Whoring her body for gain will only backfire. He'll eventually see through her guise and feel used, lose total respect for her and walk anyway.

 

[aps45819]

A sure fire way to re-kindle interest is to be seen with somebody else. If you want to take me out to dinner, I'll make the sacrifice and be seen with you in public.

 

[Kizzy]

I say give it space too. You cannot fix what has already been done, so you need to stop racking your brain about that.

Being involved in a screwed up/failed relationship makes you take 10-steps back and look at things totally different. Maybe not be as trusting as you use to be.

2-weeks is hardly enough time to get a feel for anything. Your lust got in the way.

 

[AMP]

Back off, give him his space and see where it goes..........pushing will only make him walk.

Good luck.

Many thanks for a straight, non-BS answer.

 

[AMP]

Whoring her body for gain will only backfire. He'll eventually see through her guise and feel used, lose total respect for her and walk anyway.

So these things must be done delicately... hmmmmm.