From Real Simple Magazine:
Dear Jerk,
How does your mother filling your stocking hurt you? Just because you're not overwhelmed with her gifts? She must not be Mother-Of-The-Year because she apparently didn't do a very good job with you.
Say thank you and give her a hug and quit being such a memememe whiner. I truly loathe people who complain about a gift. They shouldn't even get gifts. They shouldn't even have friends or family who would want to gift them. They should get lumps of coal, preferably in the toe of a sock that is smacked upside their selfish ungrateful head.
I have gotten some of the worst gifts you can imagine. Go Big Red snuggies. Lavender stretch pants. Things that were clearly giftovers that had nothing to do with me, my life or my decor. But did I ##### about it? No. No, I didn't. I said thank you, because the person thought enough of me to give me a present, even if it was some silly spice rack they got at their office party raffle.
And yes, you folks reading this who have gifted me in the past, you will never know if I really hated whatever you gave me. Because my dead grandmother sits on my shoulder at all times and would give me all kinds of hell if I dared sneer at any gift, regardless of how WTF??? it was.
Ask Larry about how I lit him up when he was mean to his mother - his MOTHER! - about a Santana CD she chose especially for him because she truly thought he would enjoy it. Channeling Gran, I was.
So, Jerk, go buy whatever it is you really want and let the people who are dumb enough to love you gift you as they see fit, in a manner that makes them happy to give. And you shut up about it and just say thank you.
Dear Jerk,
How does your mother filling your stocking hurt you? Just because you're not overwhelmed with her gifts? She must not be Mother-Of-The-Year because she apparently didn't do a very good job with you.
Say thank you and give her a hug and quit being such a memememe whiner. I truly loathe people who complain about a gift. They shouldn't even get gifts. They shouldn't even have friends or family who would want to gift them. They should get lumps of coal, preferably in the toe of a sock that is smacked upside their selfish ungrateful head.
I have gotten some of the worst gifts you can imagine. Go Big Red snuggies. Lavender stretch pants. Things that were clearly giftovers that had nothing to do with me, my life or my decor. But did I ##### about it? No. No, I didn't. I said thank you, because the person thought enough of me to give me a present, even if it was some silly spice rack they got at their office party raffle.
And yes, you folks reading this who have gifted me in the past, you will never know if I really hated whatever you gave me. Because my dead grandmother sits on my shoulder at all times and would give me all kinds of hell if I dared sneer at any gift, regardless of how WTF??? it was.
Ask Larry about how I lit him up when he was mean to his mother - his MOTHER! - about a Santana CD she chose especially for him because she truly thought he would enjoy it. Channeling Gran, I was.
So, Jerk, go buy whatever it is you really want and let the people who are dumb enough to love you gift you as they see fit, in a manner that makes them happy to give. And you shut up about it and just say thank you.
I loathe Santana too.
