Unnecessary Loss Of Life

[itsbob]

2005 Chevy Cobalt?? isn't that considered like an American Made Ricer?? Little high performance car??

My son drives a 1990 Honda Civic.. 1.6 L engine..195K miles on it, it leaks oil.. needed a lot of work when we bought it.. and if it gets over 65 MPH he's lucky, and would probably kill the engine.. I'm praying I don't have to worry about him going fast enough to launch his car into the trees.. or the Lancer from last week that was Literally 10 feet off of the ground IN the trees..

My boy is worried about it making it the 2 miles to and from work and has to baby it or break it.. and if not his car, he drives my TRUCK.. Not made for speed, and would be scary to take a corner in it at high speed.. and feel REAL good when he's out in my truck. A much safer, yet slower vehicle.

 

[carolinagirl]

2005 Chevy Cobalt?? isn't that considered like an American Made Ricer?? Little high performance car??

My son drives a 1990 Honda Civic.. 1.6 L engine..195K miles on it, it leaks oil.. needed a lot of work when we bought it.. and if it gets over 65 MPH he's lucky, and would probably kill the engine.. I'm praying I don't have to worry about him going fast enough to launch his car into the trees.. or the Lancer from last week that was Literally 10 feet off of the ground IN the trees..

My boy is worried about it making it the 2 miles to and from work and has to baby it or break it.. and if not his car, he drives my TRUCK.. Not made for speed, and would be scary to take a corner in it at high speed.. and feel REAL good when he's out in my truck. A much safer, yet slower vehicle.

My dad gave me and my sister cars like this when we each turned 17 yo. Each car had a variety of problems. Not only did we have to drive carefully, but we learned alot about what a car needs to keep running. I had to check the oil, radiator fluid and bald tires everyday before I set off. I hated it then, but it is something I will repeat with my kids. My 13 yo says she wants a mustang, Like he11!

 

[BuddyLee]

This girl was my biological niece. I have never met her, but was looking forward to meeting her when she turned 18.

There is so much more tragedy & irony to this story than anyone reading the article could possibly imagine, but that is my brother's story, it is not mine to tell.

There ARE people learning some very life altering lessons from this tragedy, the very birth of this girl turned my brother's life around, possibly SAVED his life.

This story is not just another statistic (as I imagine no story truly is), it is a very real, very meaningful point in many people's lives.

Sure the lesson will not be learned by most but to those it does get to it will be a learned lesson for the rest of their lives. Everything has a meaning, as does death, often times, I believe death is trying to teach us all something even if the majority disregard it as just another thing.

 

[snfr02chic]

Cousin

I just realized that most of your posts are a few months old, but regardless please read on.....

Amber Marie Rose was my cousin. This was truly a horrible even that took place. There have been a few posts made on here questioning my family etc...

First off let me start by saying that I never got a new car either, but when a 16yr. old has a great job and can afford to buy their own car, why shouldn't they? As far as I know Cobalt's are not speedy cars unless you get the souped up versions. I know plenty of older couples that have the same model that my cousin did. This car is just like buying a Honda
Civic, they aren't speedy cars unless you put a lot of time and money into the car itself to alter its functions. Honestly...when you were 16 if you could afford a nice looking brand new car don't you think you would have bought it? I know I would have in a heartbeat!!

The second thing I want to address is the comment made about the parenting skills of my aunt and uncle. If anyone on here is a parent, they know exactly how this story goes. You set rules and curfews and who they can and can't hang with etc, but if your child wants to spend the night with a respectable family, wouldn't you let them? This was not a mistake made on the parent’s part at all; this mistake was made on Amber's part. She obviously wasn't where she said she was going to be so how could her parents monitor where she actually was? I know that when I was her age one night I did the same thing…luckily I'm still here to talk about it, but my parents had no clue where I was
because they loved the girl I was supposed to be staying with. I think we can all agree that as teenagers we aren't fully truthful with our parents!!! And the honest truth is, is that almost every teen feels bullet proof...as anyone who has taken HS biology knows that teens think with a different part of their brain, and so they do things based on emotion
and not intellect. I'm sure that unless the Gov. finds some kind of miracle drug, kids today and forever will think with that part of their brain. That is part of the growing up process, which is how we learn life's lessons. It is just unfortunate that this lesson was learned by her peers and not her.

My only other comment is that Amber was a wonderful person! I know that if she had known she would have even been hurt or even just dented her new car she wouldn't have participated. I understand that it is hard for everyone outside of the situation to understand, but honestly if this was your cousin or daughter or whatever, you would be acting completely different. I am not posting this response to cause any
problems, I just want to make sure that the blame isn't placed on my aunt and uncle for something they had no idea was going on. I do agree with the alcohol factor...I'm glad I don't know who bought it for her, because honestly I don't know what I would do if I
did know. And as far as this being a lesson...my only response is that none of you saw all of the teens at the funeral. None of you saw them crying and mourning the loss of their best friend. This might not be a lesson to any of you or anyone just reading it in
the paper, but I can assure you this has been a huge lesson for those kids at the party with her, and for her other friends and I know for all of her family!! Before this all happened I had no problem with have 2-3 drinks and driving home without a seatbelt...I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!! If I don't have a DD then I don't drink! and I do not even put the car in drive until I'm buckled up!! I am going to close with this....please try to be
more sympathetic in these types of situations...some of my family has been on this board and read some of your posts and was very hurt, this is why I finally decided to post, not to be rude or nasty (and I am sorry if it came across that way) but to set the story straight.
None of us will truly know every event that happened that night, but please even if you didn't know her, try to learn from this...she was only 16...it could have been me, or you or your kids! It could have been anyone, and for those that just see this and ignore it...I truly feel sorry for them because I know that sometimes God tries to teach us things and sometimes we have to learn the hard way...please don't be another victim of a lesson gone bad! Take my advice...buckle up and NEVER EVER drive even if you have only had 1!!!

 

[Bustem' Down]

While its sad, at least she only killed herself! IMO, 16 is way to young to become a licensed driver.

I don't think it's way too young, they need to be experienced at driving by the time they are 18 and those 2 years are supposed to provide that supervised training. If they didn't get thier license till 18 vice 16, they would just be killing themselves at 18 the same way they are at 16.

 

[Bruzilla]

I hear a lot of people my age talking about how we were no different than these kids are, and for the most part that's true. But what is different is the cars we drove. When we were growing up, the family car was a Satellite, or an LTD, or a Catalina. Huge, heavy, cars that got crappy gas milage and had enough crumple space to absorb most any impact. The cars today are much less forgiving. You can't roll most of today's cars over several times, climb out the window, look at the wreck and say "Mom and Dad are going to kill me!" Now in cases like that the kid usually ends up killing themself.

As for this young lady, her death was a matter of a formula of speed+alcohol+weariness+inexperience, all of which were factors that she was in total control of at the time of the crash. Sorry to say it, but I just don't feel very sorry for people who just toss their lives away like that.

 

[TerryD]

This cobalt was not a high performance car. It was a 4 cylinder car with alot of safety features and that is why I agreed for her to get it. Amber was working full time making $10 an hour and was paying for this car herself. She had her high school diploma and was starting college in the fall. The best of kids make some of the worse mistakes. She was not where she was suppose to be that night. Nor did I allow her on the roads after midnight. It didn't help that the air bags did not deploy. So much for the safety features, huh.
Ambers Mom TerryD

 

[TerryD]

As for this young lady, her death was a matter of a formula of speed+alcohol+weariness+inexperience, all of which were factors that she was in total control of at the time of the crash. Sorry to say it, but I just don't feel very sorry for people who just toss their lives away like that.

My reply to you for saying this is, I can only pray that you NEVER have to suffer the loss of a child or loved one. I don't understand how people can make such heartless comments like this. This is my daughter you are talking about. Yes she acted unresponsibly but it WAS NOT worth her losing her life over.

 

[Suz]

As for this young lady, her death was a matter of a formula of speed+alcohol+weariness+inexperience, all of which were factors that she was in total control of at the time of the crash. Sorry to say it, but I just don't feel very sorry for people who just toss their lives away like that.

My reply to you for saying this is, I can only pray that you NEVER have to suffer the loss of a child or loved one. I don't understand how people can make such heartless comments like this. This is my daughter you are talking about. Yes she acted unresponsibly but it WAS NOT worth her losing her life over.

Terry-I am sorry you lost your daughter at such a young age.

The problem with many people on this board is once their opinion is formed no one is going to change it. EVEN if they are being opinionated @ssholes.

Please don't let their unsympathetic comments make things tougher for you then they already are. They're just not worth the effort.

God bless you and yours.

 

[vraiblonde]

I don't understand how people can make such heartless comments like this. This is my daughter you are talking about.

I'm sorry for your loss, but I fail to see what was so heartless about Bruzilla's comment. Drivers who drink and speed endanger us all. So you're damn lucky she didn't take out a few other people with her.

In 2004, 16,694 people lost their lives in alcohol-related car crashes - that's about 40% of all traffic fatalities nationwide. And every single one of those deaths were completely preventable.

You lost your daughter, and I sympathize with you - if it had been my daughter, I would be heartbroken. But let's not call others heartless when they call a spade a spade.

 

[bennydafig]

I guess the question is, how many laws did she break leading to her demise..

I'm very sorry for your loss, and worry everyday that my kids are behind the wheel..
but she was 16, on a probationary license out after midnight.. 3AM?? drinking.. at the age of 16?? Speeding??? And then you add the airbags didn't go off?? it was the car manufacturers fault???

And granted a Cobalt isn't a PERFORMANCE car, it's no Mustang GT for sure. Could it go over 100MPH.. I bet it could, THAT's performance.. could it handle a 100MPH.. no..

Will most 16 year olds go as fast as a car can go.. more then half, probably.

A lot of mistakes were made that night, and as was said before we were lucky there weren't 2 or 3 other fatalities from those same mistakes.

My heart goes out to you for your loss, I can't imagine... nor do I want to.

 

[FromTexas]

I agree alcohol and drivers suck. I believe they get what they deserve. But, I think a few around here are being awful high and mighty for people who more than likely made the same stupid mistakes when they were young (i.e. drinking, driving, etc...). It is a great thing she didn't take anyone else with her. However, endless diatribes about who gave her the alcohol, what she was doing out so late, etc.... are stupid IMHO.

We were all kids and we all know how easy it was to get alcohol, make the decision to drive, and disobey our parents if we really wanted to. I bet many of you have stories about the things you did when you were young and stupid. You are hormonally and emotionally stupid at that age, in case anyone forgot. So stop with the holier than thou crap and discuss the real problem (i.e. educating your children knowing they may be stupid, allowing for their stupidity but giving them a reasonable way out if in a dangerous situation [i.e. I will come get you and there will be no lectures/yelling... you may lose a few privileges, but I would rather know you are safe], knowing as best you can where they are, etc...).

 

[TerryD]

You lost your daughter, and I sympathize with you - if it had been my daughter, I would be heartbroken. But let's not call others heartless when they call a spade a spade.

The comment was heartless. Let me make one thing clear. I do not defend my daughters actions!! She did wrong, very wrong and the rest of us are paying for it. Yes, thank God she didn't hurt anyone else. I am a big sponsor for MADD and I stand behind their beliefs. I just think that some things are best left unsaid. Just remember the person you are talking about is no longer with us, it's the ones that are left and in pieces that have to hear these comments and I just think people should think twice before they say things like that.

 

[bennydafig]

I agree alcohol and drivers suck. I believe they get what they deserve. But, I think a few around here are being awful high and mighty for people who more than likely made the same stupid mistakes when they were young (i.e. drinking, driving, etc...).

Actually you'd be wrong.. I didn't make the same stupid mistakes. I had a 10 year old Pinto for a car when I was 17, paid $500 of my hard earned money for it, and even though it was a POS I babied that car and took good care of it. I didn't drink and drive, maybe did speed but never to an excess.

If we keep saying "they are doing the same thing we did when we were kids" what the hell is going to change? Believing that statement is NOT going to make the families of the next 10 child fatalities feel any better.

NO they are NOT doing the same things we did when we were kids. Most of my friends weren't allowed to drive at the age of 16, none had a new car, and most of them at any sign of trouble lost their keys. MOSt kids don't drink, MOST kids don't drive recklessly, and MOST of us didn't when we were 16 either!!

 

[kwillia]

Actually you'd be wrong.. I didn't make the same stupid mistakes. I had a 10 year old Pinto for a car when I was 17, paid $500 of my hard earned money for it, and even though it was a POS I babied that car and took good care of it. I didn't drink and drive, maybe did speed but never to an excess.

If we keep saying "they are doing the same thing we did when we were kids" what the hell is going to change? Believing that statement is NOT going to make the families of the next 10 child fatalities feel any better.

NO they are NOT doing the same things we did when we were kids. Most of my friends weren't allowed to drive at the age of 16, none had a new car, and most of them at any sign of trouble lost their keys. MOSt kids don't drink, MOST kids don't drive recklessly, and MOST of us didn't when we were 16 either!!

I didn't drink and drive as a teen, I didn't drive recklessly, I feared the consequences of getting caught.

 

[CMC122]

I didn't drink and drive as a teen, I didn't drive recklessly, I feared the consequences of getting caught.

 

[vraiblonde]

I just think that some things are best left unsaid.

You would be better served to acknowledge the mistakes your daughter made and how it cost her her life, then tell your story to other young people in hopes they will think before they drink and hop in a car.

This has already made an impression on snfr02chic - prior to this happening she said she never thought twice about drinking, then jumping behind the wheel. Now she has a different attitude.

Nobody is saying you are a bad parent - I've lived through 2 teen drivers and got 2 more on the way. My oldest daughter could hardly back the car out of the drive without crashing into someone, so we took her privs away. She's 19 now and hasn't driven a vehicle in 3 years.

But I think some good could come out of this tragedy if you encouraged other young people to not drink and drive, rather than get upset because other people ARE realistic and honest about it.

 

[BadGirl]

I didn't drink and drive as a teen, I didn't drive recklessly, I feared the consequences of getting caught.

Same with me.

 

[aps45819]

I didn't drink and drive as a teen, I didn't drive recklessly, I feared the consequences of getting caught.

asttense:

 

[FromTexas]

Actually you'd be wrong.. I didn't make the same stupid mistakes. I had a 10 year old Pinto for a car when I was 17, paid $500 of my hard earned money for it, and even though it was a POS I babied that car and took good care of it. I didn't drink and drive, maybe did speed but never to an excess.

If we keep saying "they are doing the same thing we did when we were kids" what the hell is going to change? Believing that statement is NOT going to make the families of the next 10 child fatalities feel any better.

NO they are NOT doing the same things we did when we were kids. Most of my friends weren't allowed to drive at the age of 16, none had a new car, and most of them at any sign of trouble lost their keys. MOSt kids don't drink, MOST kids don't drive recklessly, and MOST of us didn't when we were 16 either!!

How am I wrong? I said more than likely, not everyone. Try to read what was stated and not what you wanted it to say.

So, teens are supposed to have more common sense than when you were a kid? Its going to change because you will it so? and, did you read anywhere where I stated that we should just let it continue to happen? No. I stated that parents are the ones who need to be proactive about the situation, because the teen is not. Is that trying to change things? Yes. However, my main point was is for people to stop acting holier than thou like common
asses.

You are also sorely mistaken if you think most teens don't experiment with alcohol at some point. Does this mean they drink regularly? No, but it only takes once. You are also sorely mistaken if you think most have enough common sense to not get behind a wheel when they do. Did I say all teens? No, so stop debating on generalization and read what I wrote.

Also, just because you didn't have a car doesn't mean others shouldn't or be should be treated any different. There is no debate on what happened based around your ownership of a car at 16. Also, who says the parents involved with the many kids who have died DWI weren't enforcing taking away the keys for being in trouble, etc? Kids can hide things, and again, it only takes once.

Now, you brought up driving reckless above and beyond alcohol. Nowhere did I talk about driving reckless other than under the influence of alcohol. So, stay on topic please.

Again, anyone playing high and mighty over what should have happened with the parents, where they got the alcohol, etc... whether they did it themselves or not, is just being a plain ass. End of discussion. Kthxbyebye.