What do you do when your husband hates horses???
- Thread starter breezy9999
- Start date
breezy9999
New Member
I agree 100%!! He is into racing cars and works late alot anyways on cars, that's what is so frustrating and unfair!!! Plus my daughter is in love with our horse and I am doing all I can to keep her.
PrepH4U
New Member
hmmm your marriage is a partnership and you both are going to have to give a little bit. You have to come to an agreement that you both can have your hobby w/o each other nagging the other. Maybe set aside a monetary allowance for each for their own hobby for each pay period. Keep the money safe and if you don't need it, save it for the vet bill, that way you wont have to ask for it when that rolls around. The farrier appt only happens every 6 - 8wks so that would also be covered.
Good luck, sounds like there might be other issues also.
Roman
Active Member
I hate to sound too harsh, but I think maybe a Marriage Counselor might help with this. As mentioned before..I think there is an underlying issue here. My saying is..."The only SH!T I get from my animals is BROWN". My Husband knew before we were married, that I am an Animal lover. For better, or worse! Ya know?? Good luck!
breezy9999
New Member
Thanks guys, and yeah we have issues. The horse thing though is something he new about and told me he thought I would "Grow out of it". Not so much. Counsler would be a good idea. We will see!
Pasofever
Does my butt look big?
ladyhawk
Active Member
My first horse was an issue but it was so long ago...
He got upset because of the time I spent at the ranch training or being hi-jacked to help bring a herd in. Then he was flying a lot and our schedules were in conflict most of the time.. We got through it but it took a long time and almost killed our marriage completely..
We talked about counseling but didn't which is probably why it took us so long to get through it. We were and still are really lousy at communicating! But you know even after all we went through, I would do it all over again!
I love my husband and my horses....
I hope you can come back and say the same thing a few years from now...
Good luck to you!
June
erinjograves
New Member
This may sound really bad.....but here it goes....Hubby knew you had horses. If he expected YOU to change he is WRONG. He can either get over it and understand that you have always and will always have and/or love horses, or can get gone.
My husband knew from the moment he met me that horses are part of my soul. We had a few moments in the beginning of "you need to get rid of them" "they cost to much money" "they take to much of your time". I left. He found out real quick that horses are #1 in my life. My horses and my students come first. Point Blank! And now that I have a daughter, its my daughter, horses and my students. I love my husband, but I refuse to change who I am to make him feel better about himself. End of discussion.
My husband finally caved and said "your right honey". He occassionally throws small temper tantrums, but he gets over it. I told him a long time ago that if he didnt want to do the horse thing with me he should find his own hobby. He chose Nascar.
Counseling may be an option for you both. But I think you just need to look at him and say point blank "You knew this about me when you met me. If your intent was to change me, your being selfish and quite frankly stupid. Get over yourself. You have your hobby, let me have mine. If you dont like it, there's the door!"
I know, I know. Easier said then done. But in the end, if you dont stand up for yourself, who will???
My husband knew from the moment he met me that horses are part of my soul. We had a few moments in the beginning of "you need to get rid of them" "they cost to much money" "they take to much of your time". I left. He found out real quick that horses are #1 in my life. My horses and my students come first. Point Blank! And now that I have a daughter, its my daughter, horses and my students. I love my husband, but I refuse to change who I am to make him feel better about himself. End of discussion.
My husband finally caved and said "your right honey". He occassionally throws small temper tantrums, but he gets over it. I told him a long time ago that if he didnt want to do the horse thing with me he should find his own hobby. He chose Nascar.
Counseling may be an option for you both. But I think you just need to look at him and say point blank "You knew this about me when you met me. If your intent was to change me, your being selfish and quite frankly stupid. Get over yourself. You have your hobby, let me have mine. If you dont like it, there's the door!"
I know, I know. Easier said then done. But in the end, if you dont stand up for yourself, who will???
breezy9999
New Member
Horse are a part of my soul to and I will never be happy without them in my life. I have been there and was depressed. He will have to except it. Things are very rocky with us anyways, this is just yet another reason for us to end it. Horses are the only thing that keeps me sane! Take that away and I have nothing.
E
EmptyTimCup
Guest
Do you spend more time with the Horse than you do with your husband .... or are Horses an excuse to spend more time out of the home away from him ....
I knew 6 months before a friend of mine announced she was splitting up with her husband of 16 yrs .... it was very obvious, she spent every waking moment away from the house ...... sure 2 teen age boys in sports - Football and Ice Hockey - ... daughters involved in after school activities .... when she wasn't running a child somewhere, she played hockey herself, had evening work outs, drum lessons business trips for the job .... never was it mentioned her and the hubby were going somewhere ........ they were always passing each other never together
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breezy9999
New Member
No he usually isn't home anyways or when I want to go trail riding for a couple hours on the weekend he gets mad, but if I am home he lays around anyways. He never wants to do anything with me and the kids so I started doing my own thing. When I work off board it's during the week before work so it doesn't affect him.
E
EmptyTimCup
Guest
RareBreed
Throwing the deuces
My husband has told me repeatedly that he knew I was "the one" because I was the first girl who didn't demand he give up his '78 Trans AM that he's had since he was a teen-ager. To tell the truth, it never crossed my mind because it was his and I knew how he felt about it and often joke that he'd get rid of me and the kids before that car. They were a package deal and your husband should have seen you and the horses as one too and made up his mind whether or not he'd continue on in the relationship long before getting married. Good luck though as it seems that the horses are just an excuse for what's really wrong in the relationship.
SoMDGirl42
Well-Known Member
What do you do when your husband hates horses???
Get a divorce. The child support he'll have to pay will cover your board for the horse
Get a divorce. The child support he'll have to pay will cover your board for the horse
breezy9999
New Member
HAHA!!! That is funny! Never thought of that!
SoMDGirl42
Well-Known Member
breezy9999
New Member
Sure pm me!!!
HeavyChevy75
Podunk FL
Well I am going through a separation but it has nothing to do with the horses.
I told him when we got married that when I no longer travel anymore and can afford it. I will get horses again, and if he didn't like it, there was going to be no marriage.
I also pay for my horse and all his expenses myself. I have a job that gives me the financial ability to afford the horse. He never paid for anything horse related. No vet bills, no farrier bills, nothing.
I told him when we got married that when I no longer travel anymore and can afford it. I will get horses again, and if he didn't like it, there was going to be no marriage.
I also pay for my horse and all his expenses myself. I have a job that gives me the financial ability to afford the horse. He never paid for anything horse related. No vet bills, no farrier bills, nothing.
SoMDGirl42
Well-Known Member
Sue Ann Armitage
Ste B, 21803 Three Notch Road
Lexington Park, MD 20653-5510
(301) 862-2430
SugarNSpikes
New Member
So sorry to hear about this situation... That's absolutely ridiculous.
My boyfriend and I have a mutual understanding. On our first date (well, the ones I planned), I covered that my horse would always be in my life and I'd always have horses.
On the second, I took him to meet/ride my horse.
On the third, we went to Piscataway Stables.
Now, for this next one.. I'm thinking that he should experience horse shows.
And if he still wants me after that, I think he'll be a keeper.
My boyfriend and I have a mutual understanding. On our first date (well, the ones I planned), I covered that my horse would always be in my life and I'd always have horses.
On the second, I took him to meet/ride my horse.
On the third, we went to Piscataway Stables.
Now, for this next one.. I'm thinking that he should experience horse shows.
And if he still wants me after that, I think he'll be a keeper.