What would you do?

[CalvertNewbie]

Oh, I have forgiven, but the guard will always be up. I'm too jaded at this point in my life. Too many years and too many things. It would seriously have to take a very special man for me to overcome the past. Thanks though.

I think you're smart to keep your guard up when first meeting/dating someone. Otherwise, you're blind and clueless and more likely to get hurt. It always took me a little while to trust a guy when the relationship was new, even after a while my eyes and ears were always wide open to ensure I didn't get played. So I know how you feel. When you meet the right guy, you'll realize that it's ok to let your guard down a bit and trust. Until then, you have to do what you can to protect your heart.

 

[Cowgirl]

There HAS to be something wrong with her if so many men have cheated on her. :shrug:

I'm guessing she picks the wrong men.

 

[sockgirl77]

I'm guessing she picks the wrong men.

Well, that's obvious.

 

[Cowgirl]

Well, that's obvious.

But even though she picks the wrong men, she's not making them cheat unless she takes their and places them .

 

[sockgirl77]

But even though she picks the wrong men, she's not making them cheat unless she takes their and places them .

 

[jjsmommy99]

once a cheater, always a cheater

 

[sockgirl77]

once a cheater, always a cheater

Now that is not always true. I know some guys that were "dogs" when they were younger. They are grown up now and very happily married.

 

[Wickedwrench]

I'd never take your number off my cell. I don't care what my SO says or your gimp eared Shrek.

I feel the love and adoration from this post.

 

[backagain39]

Life is too short to sit around to get upset and worry about what another person is doing. If he/she is going to cheat then they are going to cheat. Time will tell either way if the person is telling the truth or lying. Just tell her to keep her eyes and ears open......the truth will come out sooner or later so in the mean time tell her to stop raising her blood pressure........

 

[signora]

I think you're smart to keep your guard up when first meeting/dating someone. Otherwise, you're blind and clueless and more likely to get hurt. It always took me a little while to trust a guy when the relationship was new, even after a while my eyes and ears were always wide open to ensure I didn't get played. So I know how you feel. When you meet the right guy, you'll realize that it's ok to let your guard down a bit and trust. Until then, you have to do what you can to protect your heart.

When you've been hurt in the past and someone breaks your heart it is your first instinct to keep your guard up when meeting/starting a new relationship. However, when you go into a relationship w/your guard up, I think it can cause problems because it shows your automatically judging the person by assuming they are going to hurt you and you have a lack of trust in the person.

All relationships are different, but I don't think there is any way to prevent somebody from hurting you. So you should give people a chance and not always keep your guard up and not start a new relationship w/doubts because not everybody is going to hurt you. You will realize, the one that did hurt you was just not worth it.

 

[Chain729]

Actually, no, because this just reminds me of the crap I don't miss in a relationship!! My life is uncomplicated. I don't have these problems anymore. I don't have to worry about a boyfriend cheating on me or lying to me or telling me some load of crap only to find him with whomever later down the road. After so long, I just got tired of it.

Right, this is why you constantly whine about not being able to find a good man. It's no wonder you're single. Men with even the smallest amount of wisdom or sanity aren't going to date a man-hater.

BTW, logic 101: With so many bad experiences the problem is common denominator. Wanna guess what that is? I'll give you a hint: The sane answer isn't "men."

 

[latinamomma]

Life is too short to sit around to get upset and worry about what another person is doing. If he/she is going to cheat then they are going to cheat. Time will tell either way if the person is telling the truth or lying. Just tell her to keep her eyes and ears open......the truth will come out sooner or later so in the mean time tell her to stop raising her blood pressure........

I agree with you there. Life is way too short to wonder if the other is cheating or not....the truth will come out. As for the phone thing, I would have worried more if he HAD NOT shown her the text and was trying to keep it a secret...at least he is showing her what the other woman is saying. I think maybe she could be just a little too worried about it....she needs to leave it be and just enjoy him.

 

[Chain729]

I agree with you there. Life is way too short to wonder if the other is cheating or not....the truth will come out. As for the phone thing, I would have worried more if he HAD NOT shown her the text and was trying to keep it a secret...at least he is showing her what the other woman is saying. I think maybe she could be just a little too worried about it....she needs to leave it be and just enjoy him.

So you're advice is to stop worrying and give him a Good woman!

 

[Roberta]

:shrug: If she were in denial instead of saying "You're a fool, the evidence it right there. 2AM hook up txt messages are cause for concern!" she would be saying "Oh I am sure it is all a misunderstanding and he is not throwing the bone to random encounters. Don't worry be happy!"

Consider the source.

 

[Roberta]

VERY TRUE statement... my ex blamed me for his cheating... i went crazy all over that defense... but then, through counseling and scripture reading... he was right... if you keep your spouse satisfied, there is no reason for them to ever consider going elsewhere...and they wont. now grant it...i had what i thought were very good reasons to keep to myself and not care about his needs.. his drinking was just his #1 love...and i didnt feel love towards him because of that. I loved him with all my heart and soul - but he loved the drink more. i shut down and he wandered. he was an honest man prior to the drinking... i used to feel he would NEVER cheat on me... EVER...but when you're out there drunk and alone, i guess it definitely could open the door to others....whatever. it's all in the past now and i've learned more about myself. he's still drinking and i'm moving forward. we're still friends and i'm not bitter. life is grand when we all allow ourselves to move on...

If it makes you feel better, keep believing that.