What's so hard about dating?

[vraiblonde]

When an old flame calls you out of the blue, what's so hard about calling them back? What do you think they're going to do - yell, "HAHA!! Made you call me back!"? And if you think that's what they WILL do, obviously they're not a very nice person so you wouldn't even entertain the notion of calling them back.

People are so self-protective when it comes to dating and relationships. What's so hard about saying, "I like you"? What's so hard about spending time with someone you like without all these stupid "3 day" rules and crap?

What's so hard about honesty? About saying, "You hurt my feelings"?

Who's going to die if you bare your heart to someone else?

What makes people want relationships with someone who abuses them, yet blow off a perfectly nice person who treats them well?

Why do we get so obsessed with our romantic interests that all common sense flys out the window and we do stupid, self-destructive things?

Any answers?

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
What's so hard about honesty?

:shrug: It gets me in trouble all the time!! :shrug:

 

[SxyPrincess]

The aliens tell me what to do.

 

[SxyPrincess]

Honestly...we all have "expectations" and when those expectations are not met, we try harder and harder to make the relationship work. If you can 'change' a person, you have 'controlled' them.

 

[Kyle]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
... What makes people want relationships with someone who abuses them, yet blow off a perfectly nice person who treats them well?
...
Any answers?

I've wondered the same thing for 20+ years.

Good luck getting that answer.

 

[Blondie76]

I could say alot on this, but I would probably reveal way to much about myself. I will say that my emotions definately get in the way sometimes, and it's hard to turn them off and think clearly. But I'm learning...slowly...and just trying to take it all in stride.

 

[Kain99]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
People are so self-protective when it comes to dating and relationships.

You answered your own questions. People are self protective. Once bitten twice shy!

 

[Kyle]

Re: Re: What's so hard about dating?

Originally posted by Kain99
... Once bitten twice shy!

Actually if she bites it's much more... Err... nevermind.

 

[migtig]

When an old flame calls you out of the blue, what's so hard about calling them back?
***I call them back, unless I am not interested for whatever reason

What's so hard about saying, "I like you"?
***Well sometimes you aren't sure if you like them or not, but once you do and say like it is okay but love is a freaky word and is to never be used in my presence
What's so hard about spending time with someone you like without all these stupid "3 day" rules and crap?
***I don't follow that rule either

What's so hard about honesty?
***I am alwyas honest. Sometimes it doesn't get me where I want to go, but at least I feel good about myself. Then again, sometimes I don't volunteer info, because I am not ready to share it with that person yet.

About saying, "You hurt my feelings"?
**** I did this recently and got dropped like a hot potato

Who's going to die if you bare your heart to someone else?
***Sometimes you aren't ready to, are unsure of your feelings and not really 100% comfortable with that person yet to do that. It's a personal thing

What makes people want relationships with someone who abuses them, yet blow off a perfectly nice person who treats them well?
***I don't know the answer to this one :shrug: Somebody tries that crap with me it's the last time they try that crap.

Why do we get so obsessed with our romantic interests that all common sense flys out the window and we do stupid, self-destructive things?
***Sometimes I honestly think it is hormones. Other times it is insecurity. Other times it is pressure (external/internal).

Did I help?

 

[Blondie76]

Re: Re: What's so hard about dating?

Originally posted by migtig
***Sometimes I honestly think it is hormones. Other times it is insecurity. Other times it is pressure (external/internal).

I'm gonna say it's hormones about 90% of the time

 

[justhangn]

Re: Re: What's so hard about dating?

Originally posted by Kain99
You answered your own questions. People are self protective. Once bitten twice shy!

Like a cue ball, the harder ya hit'm, the quicker they seem to come back.



Ok, jokes aside, for a second ONLY!


It has a lot to do with your upbringing, according to a few psych books I've glanced through. Women are looking for what they perceive as a MAN figure in their life, regardless of what they outwardly say, their subconscious is what makes them attracted to the jerk kind of guy.

 

[Sharon]

Originally posted by vraiblonde


People are so self-protective when it comes to dating [and relationships].

The way I see it, dating and relationships are different.

To me dating is easy, no lists of qualifications, nothing implied, etc. You go out - you have fun. Doesn't matter who asks or who pays. If it works out you do it again, if it doesn't - so what.

When it does work out and you've been seeing each other for awhile, then it moves onto the relationship phase (because now you are friends), whether you are seeing others or not.

These people who are uptight and have a list of qualifications for simple dating are missing out on meeting some really great people!!! Even if it doesn't work out with them, you can still be friends and they may know someone who is perfect for you.

When you limit yourself to a list, the pickens are mighty slim.

 

[migtig]

Re: Re: Re: What's so hard about dating?

Originally posted by justhangn
It has a lot to do with your upbringing, according to a few psych books I've glanced through. Women are looking for what they perceive as a MAN figure in their life, regardless of what they outwardly say, their subconscious is what makes them attracted to the jerk kind of guy.

OMG - that explains why I am still single.
Where the heck am I gonna find a 6'4" educated redneck who can do everything from fix cars, to weld, to teach school, to dancing, to cooking, to growing a garden, to doctoring animals and children, who horseback rides, stock car races, is stubborn, obstinentate and willing to give a total stranger the shirt off his back??!!!
I am never gonna find a guy like my daddy.

 

[migtig]

Re: Re: What's so hard about dating?

Originally posted by Sharon
The way I see it, dating and relationships are different.

To me dating is easy, no lists of qualifications, nothing implied, etc. You go out - you have fun. Doesn't matter who asks or who pays. If it works out you do it again, if it doesn't - so what.

When it does work out and you've been seeing each other for awhile, then it moves onto the relationship phase (because now you are friends), whether you are seeing others or not.

These people who are uptight and have a list of qualifications for simple dating are missing out on meeting some really great people!!! Even if it doesn't work out with them, you can still be friends and they may know someone who is perfect for you.

When you limit yourself to a list, the pickens are mighty slim.

That's why I am dating soo many.

 

[justhangn]

Re: Re: Re: Re: What's so hard about dating?

Originally posted by migtig

I am never gonna find a guy like my daddy.

Your momma did and so will you.

 

[vraiblonde]

Sharon says
You go out - you have fun. Doesn't matter who asks or who pays. If it works out you do it again, if it doesn't - so what.

That's how I always thought of it. Little did I know it was supposed to be more complicated!

Just says
It has a lot to do with your upbringing, according to a few psych books I've glanced through. Women are looking for what they perceive as a MAN figure in their life, regardless of what they outwardly say, their subconscious is what makes them attracted to the jerk kind of guy.

Lotta truth to that. But what makes people get in relationships with men or women who abuse them?

Boyscout, I'm going to pick on you for a second. Why would you entertain the notion of a girl who has these kinds of weird relationships like this doofus she's seeing? If she has no better judgement than to keep after this type of guy, why would you want her? Do you think you can rescue her or something? Do you want her raising your children? This isn't a rhetorical question - I'm really interested in the mindset here.

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
Lotta truth to that. But what makes people get in relationships with men or women who abuse them?

Psychologically they feel they deserve it because they are not living up to the expectations of their loved one.

It's a sickness, but that's how it works.

 

[DoWhat]

Just Do It.

 

[migtig]

Originally posted by DoWhat
Just Do It.

Yeah yeah yeah - you have said that already - several times as a matter of fact. Can you type anything else or is that it for your limited vocabulary? Bet you are real exciting out in public

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by migtig
Bet you are real exciting out in public

"Huh, uh huh and yea" should just about sum him up.