What's so hard about dating?

[vraiblonde]

Great post, Sam!

But - they're no challenge and - well, how "valuable" can they be if they are too easy to catch?

Kind of like, "I would never join a club that would have me as a member". Explains a lot...very interesting....

 

[Sierra39]

Cari, I just read your post on the last page about meeting so many morons – I just posted something similar on the Ideal Mate thread!

Why do the losers outnumber the nice guys by about 1000:1?? Had I known dating was going to be such a drag, I could've just stayed with the loser I had – at least I had a $250K life insurance policy on him!

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by justhangn
If I may, I would speculate that women see you as a major wussbag that couldn't defend them on your best day. You bend over backward to give them what you think they want and all they actually want is a guy that's himself, not somebody that's gushing over their every whim.

Just a thought.

Ouch!

I see what you're saying, and I suppose it could be true that it's how women see me. Truth is, I'm a man of conviction, but my convictions generally aren't apparent when someone first meets me or even within the first few meetings.

Most of the time, I'm very laid-back, easy-going, and I pick my battles. I'll put my foot down when it matters, but as I've said, I tend to go with the flow except on matters which I have great conviction.

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
But don't you think it's just because you haven't met the right girl yet? Do you date a lot? Like every weekend?

:shrug: Yeah, it is I would guess.

I try to go out on a date at least every other weekend. It's difficult to meet enough single girls around here to go out on a date EVERY weekend.

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by justhangn
Work with me here........IF he would just be himself and not try to be everything he thinks that SHE wants him to be, he would more than likely land some quality tail.

That's just it...
I am myself. I like to please my woman. It makes me feel good. I "treat mine like queens" as Mig would say. I enjoy it.

I'm not trying to be everything I think she wants me to be, I'm quite simply doing all the things I want to do for her.

Am I the only one who honestly enjoys keeping a woman 'kept'?

Just to clarify, I don't try to give her everything she wants. I'm no sugar daddy and even if I wanted to be, I can't afford it. But, I do like to take care of my mate. Maybe it's just the whole "provider" natural instinct that I have, but regardless, that instinct is there and it's not going away anytime soon, so the woman that's right for me will be one who likes that facet of my personality.

 

[JolietJake]

Originally posted by sleuth14
That's just it...
I am myself. I like to please my woman. It makes me feel good. I "treat mine like queens" as Mig would say. I enjoy it.

See. You found your answer. You should be going out with MigTig.

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by JolietJake
See. You found your answer. You should be going out with MigTig.

She's already used to a stalker, what a great idea.

 

[migtig]

Originally posted by justhangn
She's already used to a stalker, what a great idea.

Not funny JH

As for Sleuth, he's a little young for me personally. However, he has great potential, but needs to work on his approach towards women. JMO

 

[pixiegirl]

Dating isn't hard it just sucks!

Mig, we still have a date for Saturday?

 

[migtig]

Originally posted by pixiegirl
Dating isn't hard it just sucks!

Mig, we still have a date for Saturday?

OMG Yes - everyday I get a phone call

 

[pixiegirl]

Originally posted by migtig
OMG Yes - everyday I get a phone call

Good!

 

[vraiblonde]

Sleuth, have you ever considered an older woman? You're probably going to have a tough time with girls your age because they're still looking for excitement - you know, guys who cheat on them and treat them like crap. Maybe you should be looking at women who are mid-to late 30's. They've typically been through the wringer and are more appreciative of guys who know how to act.

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by migtig
Not funny JH

As for Sleuth, he's a little young for me personally. However, he has great potential, but needs to work on his approach towards women. JMO

Awe come on, give him a chance.

You've already given him dating advice.....where to take the girlie, how to walk her on the beach and nibble her neck........he has the keys to give you a good time, you just have to show him to the door.

 

[migtig]

Originally posted by justhangn
Awe come on, give him a chance.

You've already given him dating advice.....where to take the girlie, how to walk her on the beach and nibble her neck........he has the keys to give you a good time, you just have to show him to the door.

Point taken, but I can't help the fact that I like a man with a bit more age to him. Plus I don't want to train a man, I want one who has the knowledge and experience to stand his ground with me. I am a very strong confident female, and I don't need a weaker/softer mate, but one who can stand on his own feet and be a true partner.
Plus, having met Sleuth in real time - I do know the potential is there for the makings of a good man, but currently his behavior/approach towards females is off putting. He needs to develop his maturity level to know what's cool to bs about with guys is not cool with girls. Plus females don't like to hear from a male - deragatory terminology, negative opinions of the female sex, how a certain type of women is the best woman, what other women look like, and past love interests. He needs to work on his approach towards females, develop a maturity level, and learn that he can't say certain things in mixed company and expect to get anywhere with females. Currently as he stands right now I would not intro him to any of my g/f's as a potential match. However, once he matures, I bet he would make a great partner.

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by migtig
Point taken, but I can't help the fact that I like a man with a bit more age to him. Plus I don't want to train a man, I want one who has the knowledge and experience to stand his ground with me. I am a very strong confident female, and I don't need a weaker/softer mate, but one who can stand on his own feet and be a true partner.
Plus, having met Sleuth in real time - I do know the potential is there for the makings of a good man, but currently his behavior/approach towards females is off putting. He needs to develop his maturity level to know what's cool to bs about with guys is not cool with girls. Plus females don't like to hear from a male - deragatory terminology, negative opinions of the female sex, how a certain type of women is the best woman, what other women look like, and past love interests. He needs to work on his approach towards females, develop a maturity level, and learn that he can't say certain things in mixed company and expect to get anywhere with females. Currently as he stands right now I would not intro him to any of my g/f's as a potential match. However, once he matures, I bet he would make a great partner.

Are you taking notes Sleuth??

Yet again, the Migster bestows you with dating wisdom, now it's up to you to take full advantage.

 

[Kyle]

Geez...

That fire got p-d on in a hurry!

Better luck next time Sleuth.

 

[justhangn]

Re: Geez...

Originally posted by Kyle
That fire got p-d on in a hurry!

Dang near as fast as his actual date.

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by migtig
Point taken, but I can't help the fact that I like a man with a bit more age to him. Plus I don't want to train a man, I want one who has the knowledge and experience to stand his ground with me. I am a very strong confident female, and I don't need a weaker/softer mate, but one who can stand on his own feet and be a true partner.
Plus, having met Sleuth in real time - I do know the potential is there for the makings of a good man, but currently his behavior/approach towards females is off putting. He needs to develop his maturity level to know what's cool to bs about with guys is not cool with girls. Plus females don't like to hear from a male - deragatory terminology, negative opinions of the female sex, how a certain type of women is the best woman, what other women look like, and past love interests. He needs to work on his approach towards females, develop a maturity level, and learn that he can't say certain things in mixed company and expect to get anywhere with females. Currently as he stands right now I would not intro him to any of my g/f's as a potential match. However, once he matures, I bet he would make a great partner.

Do you want a man to be himself, confident and strong and secure in his manhood and the way that he acts? Or do you want a man who fits this perfect mold that you've created of what a man should be because that's what a woman wants or doesn't want? The latter seems to me to be a pushover, that is, the "weaker/softer" type of guy that you say that you don't want. But the former isn't going to fit your mold of what a man should and shouldn't do. I would venture to say that the one who acts on his own accordance in a way that he wants to act and not the way you dictate he should act is the "stronger/harder" type. This seems to me to be what you really want, but are afraid to admit.

This whole thread, the women who have posted on here have stated that a man should just be himself, and not worry about trying to live up to what he thinks a woman wants and how he thinks he should act with her. Yet here, you try to define what all women want, and that a man shouldn't do this and he shouldn't do that. You say, "females don't like to hear from a male ... how a certain type of women is the best." Well, men don't either, yet you still point out what needs to be fixed about me. So how do you want it? It's okay if I'm not the man that you are looking for, but do not expect people to change or "mature" to fit your ideal. I suggest you take your own advice and admit that it was you that was not comfortable with some aspects of me, rather than deciding what is right for all women, or what is right for the way men should be with them.

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by cariblue

That's the long way of saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too".

 

[migtig]

Sleuth I wasn't trying to insult you, just point out the vibes that I picked up from you. I appreciate that you are you, but I am not the only female on this board who has picked up on the off setting behavior negative female attitude you project. Maybe I am the only one with enough balls to say so. :shrug:
A strong confident male doesn't have to posture and go on about other woman, nor does he have to insult them (as you have tried to do in your post). There are at least two reasons for this - one he is secure in himself and two he is showing respect. If he can't show respect I don't want him and if he isn't confident in himself I am not gonna take the time nor energy to reassure him.
I am dating several guys right now whose company I very much enjoy, and some of who wish to pursue a more committed relationship with me. And each one of these men show me respect and are very secure and confident in their manhood and I do not try to dictate their behavior nor they mine. If they let me boss them around I wouldn't want to date them and if they tried to boss me around I'd kick their arse.